We all know that the traditional way of meeting girls is to sign up with one of the many agencies that you see on-line. Some are legitimate and some are outright frauds. I would make sure you get some references from people that you can talk to directly if you decide to deal with them. What I would personally recommend is another tact all together. But first let me give you some background.
When you go through an agency everyone has this major expectation of getting married right away. Now here’s a shocking revelation for you.. In Russia or any other FSU country that is not considered normal.
The vast majority of Russian Girls are just like any other girl in that they want to date and have a normal courtship with as much time as possible before they make a life long commitment.
This is one of the main reasons why there is a real social stigma for Russian girls who join agencies. This is not something that they would brag about to friends and family. In fact the vast majority of them that do join agencies will do anything to keep it a secret because it seems a little too uncomfortably closely related to being perceived as a prostitute or a desperate woman. Russian women are traditionally very proud (and I want to heavily emphasize this fact) so an agency listing just runs completely counter to this. Now this does not mean that the girls who join agencies have these negative backgrounds at all. I’m just simply telling you truth as to the way Russian society in general frowns upon this and how it affects the girls.
The other issue is this. Often times there may be various financial conflicts of interest that cloud the integrity of all involved. For example a man may pay a certain amount of money to meet one or a group of girls. When he arrives he see’s a huge variety of girls just around town that have nothing to do with the agency but the agency will not help him to meet them because their are only getting paid to deal with the girls he’s originally picked.
Starting to see the problem here?
Also the girls themselves are naturally going to question why they are being introduced to this particular man. Is it only because of the money that the man is paying the agency? This may create an additional hurdle that needs to be dealt with properly or else it may scuttle any potential for trust and relationship. A potential red flag for this would be if the agency is charging fees related to the number of girls you meet or the number of times you require a service like interpretation. Now although this may be perfectly legitimate due to the amount of effort and time required to deliver these things.. In the back of your mind you should still realize that a monetary incentive still exists for you to fail and not to succeed. So look out for that.
Depending on the process used traditional agencies may still have much to offer but I would also go with a backup plan outside of the agency as well. This to me is the smartest way to meet girls and to have the greatest chance for a successful trip.
Develop friendships with people in Russia that are not connected with an agency.
Many younger Russians are starting to have more of an on-line presence with different portals just like in the US and the rest of the world. We have Yahoo, AOL and MSN they have services like Rambler.ru and ICQ. ICQ by far is the most dominant instant messenger in Russia and one of the best ways to find new friends on-line in this part of the world.
When you meet people on-line.. Make it known sometime during the development of your chats that you are looking for a specific kind of girl to meet and to have a long term relationship with. If you are talking to a girl on ICQ for example it may not be that girl. But she has friends.. Probably lots of them too and would be just as happy to play matchmaker for her and you if she likes you.
This my friends is a MUCH BETTER and MORE NATURAL way to get aquainted and to meet. When you make friends and connect with their friends you have something very valuable called “Social Proof” which basically means that if one person close to a girl says you are OK then she will immediately accept you as being OK. This type of Social Proof doesn’t normally exist with agencies no matter how much they tell the girl you are interested in that “you seem like a nice guy from your letters”. It also works the other way for you.
You want “Social Proof” as well and traditional agencies just can’t provide that for you no matter how much they say they “know” the girls that are in their database. No one knows a girl better then her girlfriend and this is especially true here. If you can access this then you are way ahead of the curve. Obviously the more the merrier.
Strategically I would only concentrate on one city during your trip to Russia. It gives you more time to focus on the girls you’ve met so you can date and stretch out the “getting to know you” part as long as possible. So pick the best city for you. If you go through an agency and focus on 1 or 2 girls in a city then do the same with ICQ or Rambler for that city. Now keep in mind that although you can easily find English speakers with ICQ this will be more of a challenge with Rambler since it’s all in Russian.
So your first order of business is to find a good interpreter and guide both online and also during your arrival. I would try to cut a seperate deal with the agency for example to see if they would be willing to get paid to either be your interpreter or to find a good one for you. This is important because it keeps the interpreter in your camp to assist only you and not some other potential interest.
It totally helps to be generous with all involved. Send or bring gifts to all involved that you need help from. It doesn’t have to be expensive just thoughtful and maybe something unique from your part of the world. This along with a little bit of money (only when it’s needed to pay for something necessary) will prime the pump for you and help spread your bets more evenly across the table. Never use money as a gift it sends a terrible message and can set you up for many bad things during your trip.
The more you come across as a responsible and caring man to all involved the better you will be. It should go without saying that crass, sexual or arrogant communications will get you locked out fast. Diplomacy, humility and charm is the order of the day.
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July 26, 2006 at 6:11 pm
thanks for the info. i found the Rambler.ru site but didn’t know about the ICQ site.
July 27, 2006 at 5:53 am
Just google it.. you’ll find it no problem..
July 28, 2006 at 6:15 am
Good advice here. I’d also like to add on behalf of my Russian friends here, that there are Russian and Ukrainian women in places outside of Russia and the Ukraine who are looking for good husbands. So visit Israel and Dubai sometime too.
Many eastern European women have trouble finding husbands in this region because of religious/ethnic discrimination. It’s a sad fact that many are alone here simply because their status isn’t officially this or that, and guys are dumb enough to go with some kind of pseudo-eugenic thinking. So they have the same problem that I do here unless they look like a model, and sometimes even then…lots of guys who want a screw, but few to none willing to make a real commitment.
I’ll see if I can get some of them to post here.
July 28, 2006 at 11:17 am
hello Ladies
From South Africa
If we focus on what you want, instead of what you dont want, you will know it is time to take action.
July 28, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Hello Mama-san!
Are you a real mama-san by the way? : ) Thank you very much for you feedback and addtional advice. Yes I’ve met girls here who have worked in Dubai and they have also told me that it was a difficult lonely experience and that the local guys there weren’t exactly gentlemen to them.
As you can see I’m doing everything I can to promote you girls because I’ve done my share of traveling as well and you ladies are certainly worth it!
By all means please get your friends and their friends and their friends too to visit my site and to post comments. : ) If you say there are wonderful Russian and Ukranian girls in places like Israel and Dubai well do your part to let the world know and you can start here ; )
I wish you ladies all the luck and love in the world! And while your at it show me and my blog some love too!
Cheers!
GL
August 17, 2006 at 9:41 pm
I am a very romantic and loving man who is looking for a single russian lady to meet for long relationship or marraige.
N
September 16, 2006 at 9:44 pm
Hi there its a good thing always to help someone.I am available any time any one of you wants me. I am from Dubai. MY email ami_98us@yahoo.com
January 4, 2007 at 4:44 am
hi
January 4, 2007 at 4:44 am
helloo
January 12, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Just testing to see if I can get a message to appear here….
January 12, 2007 at 3:10 pm
Hurray! It worked!
January 12, 2007 at 9:28 pm
Sometimes it even may be legitimate fraud or evasive legit… )
Life offers incredible tales. Here is one.
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2007/01/12/new-russian-bride-online-scam-art-technology-alert-or-just-life-sophistocated-gentle-long-term-indefinite-result/
February 6, 2007 at 8:19 am
I have to agree, ICQ is probably the best way to network without physically going there. Penpal sites don’t seem to work that well.
February 8, 2007 at 9:21 am
I strongly agree that the core functions of an agency should be networking for “social proof”, matching mutually interested and obviously compatible people only, and serving the hospitality assistance, from accommodating management and translator / guide, to facilitating spontaneous acquaintances. These are the fundamentals of our budding service.
Regarding ICQ, it’s a truly smart way of meeting girls online! Not relieved of bugs and bummers, naturally. I heartfully recommend the following observations that would help you make your surfing smooth and pleasant.
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/09/30/web-dating-russian-girls-lost-or-not-why/
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/10/06/million-russian-brides-and-men-online-jealousy-surfeit/
August 31, 2007 at 12:06 am
having read your comments and having briefly dated a russian woman (until work kept us apart) I found that they are charming, modest, educated and enchanting… if russian men dont realise the value of thesse qualities.. more fool them i would love the opportunity to get to know more russian women better, both for friendship & possibley more.
September 3, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Hi Rob,
Thanks for joining us.
You can actually consider yourself one of the lucky ones for actually having first hand positive experience for dating a Russian Girl. Many or most guys set off on this journey with little more then a few websites and a bunch of reading to help them choose.
I can tell your choice has already been made up for you given what you have already experienced.
Good luck to you..
Cheers
GL
February 13, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Hello everyone !
I am looking forward to meeting new friends and know more informations about another culture.
Best Regards
( :
March 9, 2008 at 2:07 pm
Thanks good advice here I will go try ICQ
March 22, 2008 at 4:04 am
I thought ICQ is outdated everywhere nowadays since AOL tookover ICQ many years ago and didn’t improve on it much. Isn’t Skype is the new international instant messaging and internet calls? I ditched ICQ over eight years ago and haven’t look back since.
March 22, 2008 at 6:24 am
Hi Evergreen,
ICQ is still the number one chat program in use here in Russia and in the CIS. Nothing even comes close to it in terms of volume of users.
June 20, 2008 at 4:05 pm
hey what’s up rw_man i’m kind of mad at you lady!because you said in uae the local guys are not gntel with the girls. but i want to correct you. not all of them like that most of the guys have travled to many countries and they know how to make realtionship with girls or guys from diffrent countries .maybe you have met some guys don’t know how to make realtionship or they already have girls friends .anyway if you in uae i wish you enjoy your time and have fun over there i wish if i’m in uae to meet you girl but i’m in usa .and i want to give you my icq # if you want to add me 757363
June 21, 2008 at 11:12 am
Hi Mano..
I’m sure you are right.. Unfortunately the few girls that I met who have been there didn’t see it that way and all I did was just pass along what they said.
I know Dubai is an extremely interesting place and I hope to visit it someday soon. I know that in order for you guys to have the ultra modern and stable society that you have requires that most of you are good and decent guys so I totally don’t doubt what you are saying..
I would love to hear from any Russian or FSU ladies who have had a positive experience there and when that happens I’ll be the first one to post it..
Good luck to you..
GL
July 2, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Nice!! Blogs… Keep it up… Russian Girls are always possitive.
Regards,
Ram.
July 3, 2008 at 10:53 pm
I have simply found out the best way to find a good Russian contact is to simply be as foward and outgoing about your interest in Russia as possible. Buy a shirt on Ebay in Russian if you have to
Russian contacts are out there, and it’s much easier to find them if you are as outward as possible.
She found it facinating that I was interested in all things FSU including that I was corresponding with a lovely Siberian girl. She said too bad that she knew of a few nice girls that needed good men and wanted to come to San Diego
I guess I’m lucky as she is the second FSU lady that I have found at my work. The other is from just south of Moscow. I actually had yet another girl, she looked siberan, that worked for the same company that I did. Unfortunately I hadn’t started thinking about FSU ladies yet. Every once in awhile someone will say they know someone who has a Russian wife or they know someone who knows someone type of deal. If I still needed a contact, I would pursue these leads and go this route rather than go on a site and try and find a girl that way. This way you can be more confident that you have actually found a real contact that will introduce you to a real girl. You don’t need to say your interested in finding a girl over there, just mention Russia and people will start on about knowing so and so who has a Russian wife.
I just happended to find a lady that I work with that is from the Ukraine. I overheard her speak as I was walking by her work area and recognized her accent, so I stopped and started talking with her. She is from Odessa, mom is Ukranian, father is east Siberian, came over with her husband when the Soviet Union dissolved, has a grown daughter, absolutely lovely lady
In reading around on the internet you will see that little “hubs” of Russian girls start to form around an initial couple who decided to get married here. These girls have lots of wonderful friends, sisters, etc. who they want to find good suitors for.
SiSD
July 4, 2008 at 12:39 am
That’s very true, SISD. I have the same experience with my gf. She will actually arrive on Sunday. But, for the longest time, one of her friends was going to come with her if she could get time off of work, with the hopes that she could meet a guy. I had a few guys lined up for her to get to know, but her boss wouldn’t let her take the time off. Two of her other friends have asked about guys here as well with a lot of interest, and a number of others with passing interest. She has more friends asking for introductions that I know of single (unmarried) guys.
Funnily enough, one of my friends married my Canadian ex-gf. For the longest time he wanted to mary a Russian girl, and he was going to go there for a year, etc. Now I hear he’s very unhappy with the choice he made. She’s 30 pounds overweight and under 5 feet tall. Doesn’t look after herself, is very selfish, and just hard to get along with. I was told that he said that if he knew a way that he wouldn’t get screwed over in a divorce, he would divorce her this second. Luckily enough, they have no children.
But, I think that maybe I could help him a little bit…..
July 4, 2008 at 5:33 am
Very valuable advice Sunny..
Look around you and network all you can.
Associations and introductions on this level are very valuable.
GL
November 14, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Hey there!
Thanks for this blog first, I found thigs I couldn’t imagine about the way to meet Russian girls who are I agree often close to perfection.
French guy newly arrived in Dubai I was wondering where are all these girls you’re talking about.
Dubai is amazing but unfortunately people don’t mix up that much compared to what we can see in Europe.
It’s not that easy for different communities to meet and share in the same place.
Cheers.
June 8, 2009 at 12:14 am
I have been emailing a non- agency Russian lady for several months. She uses rambler.ru through an interne cafe. She has never asked me for money but I sense it is expensive for her! Should I help her with the expense and show I am very serious about getting to know her and possibly meet?
Thanks!
June 8, 2009 at 6:53 am
Tad,
My thoughts, for what they’re worth, would be to keep money out of the conversations for a very long time just to be sure. I know a few people who travel throughout the FSU and I’ve been told that most young people have access to the internet whether at the cafes, on the job or at home. As with us, it is a part of modern life and an expense we all seem to cover. From reading about scams that show up via the international dating arena, helping to pay for everyday items like the cost of internet comes at the top of the list. And usually it isn’t directly asking for money but rather from suggesting the cost is so high that their hope is you will offer assistance. Bottom line, there is a price to pay for romance but be very careful that you don’t let your heart drain your wallet.
Good luck.