From WK –
I was over here at my girlfriend’s house studying when there was a knock at the front door… I answered the door and it was their neighbor.“Privyet!” said the smiling lady.
“Privyet!” I answered (happy to see it was one of the family’s Russian friends).
I invited her in and introduced myself before asking if there was anything she needed. She had come over to borrow two tomatoes because her husband wanted an avocado and tomato salad, but she forgot to buy tomatoes at the store…
My face lit up with appreciation for this loving, dedicated woman and her sincere desire to please her husband.
That, gentlemen, is EXACTLY what I’m talking about.
All of this happened as I sat in front of my books whilst eating a sandwich and drinking the coffee that was prepared and served to me by my beloved angel.
Coincidence? I think not.
When I passed this story on to a group of ladies with whom I was talking to today..
They were Completely Stunned that American Men would EVER take notice of something like this.
Or in other words..
They were MORE Surprised that WE Were Surprised that a Russian Woman would regularly prepare a meal in the manner that she does for her loved ones.
They were even more amazed when I told them that I had learn how to cook for myself a very long time ago.. And that most Men in the US also know how to cook for themselves too.
When ever this subject comes up in the company of Russian Women the question is ALWAYS the Same..
“Don’t American Women Cook?”
Now in all honesty how in the world do I answer this question..
- Have I seen American Women cooking in my life? Yes
- Have I seen this as part of a daily routine? Partially
- What is the attitude that most American Women have towards cooking when they cook at all? Often like it’s a pain in the rear
This is the key thing here Gentlemen.
Whenever I see Russian Women cooking for the ones they love it totally feels like a loving art form.
There are no gripes.. no moans or groans.. and no guilt trips.. It’s just truly something that comes from the heart because it’s part of their identity and the way they express themselves as Women.
As these group of lovely women continued to express their surprise by firing off more questions towards me..
I Started to have a Flashback..
I was transported back to when I first came to Russia and had one of my most vivid memories in relation to this.
Two Russian buddies of mine had brought home some beer, wine, sausages, cheese, fish, cucumbers, dumplings, pasta and bread from the store for a little impromptu gathering.
Immediately upon entering the door their two girlfriends automatically took the heavy bags, unloaded everything in the kitchen and proceeded to wash, cut, arrange, prepare and cook everything in perfect sync with each other as if they were doing it together for years.
But the really wild thing was that these women had just met each other for the very first time this evening.
Within 5 minutes we had glasses filled with beer and an elegant cheese and sausage plate cut up and arranged in an interlaced spiral pattern as if it came straight from a professional chef.
The men immediately sat and started to eat first.
In 15 more minutes we had a full spread of different cold and hot plate dishes just being served to us like it was some elegant kitchen ballet. There was a constant flow of graceful movement and not one second of hesitation or indecision in knowing what to do next from these ladies.
The only thing the girls asked the men to do was to select the music on the stereo as they topped it all off by neatly placing the glasses and wine bottles out along with a wine opener.
This was their silent signal for my friend to open up the first bottle of Bulgarian Red Wine while they continued to clean up and put everything away.
I Truly felt like I was in the Twilight Zone watching these 2 Beautiful Women accomplish this because..
One
I could have sworn that they could have done this blindfolded.
Two
I was truly a little embarrassed because I didn’t feel like I deserved to be on the receiving end of such loving service.
Three
Once I realized that this was something they did for their Men ALL THE TIME and because I was their guest.. that included me.. I finally started to relax a bit and fully take in one of life’s greatest pleasures.
(End Flashback and Back to the Present Moment..)
One of the girls in the group must have sensed that I was having a very wonderful day dream..
I think she also wanted to contribute to my dream when she said something even more astonishing to me. She was just beaming with the most beautiful sincere smile and you could feel the warm pride coming from her as she softly said..
“They say that a real Russian Home should always have the smell of a good warm soup lingering in the air.”
When she said that I swore I could literally have tasted the delicious steaming textures of that soup with my taste buds.
And it made me realize that if I every had any doubts in knowing what Heaven on Earth is truly supposed to be..
Then I think I just got a quick glimpse of it with her words..
November 7, 2006 at 5:13 pm
After reading this, I made a list of every significant relationship I’ve ever had. None of them really cooked. Pulling macaroni out of a box or heating a can of something or other in the microwave doesn’t count. A few had a handful (generally 3 or less) of dishes they could prepare, but after looking at the list in black and white, I just realized that I’ve done the cooking 95% of the time (or more). Fortunately I’m skilled at it.
Can we blame this phenomonon on feminism? Absolutely. I would surmise that large numbers of women leaving the home for the workplace was one of the factors that led to the rise of convenience foods, among other things, that negate the need for being able to take raw, fresh ingredients and do something with them. Maybe one of your elder readers can give us a comparison between today and days gone by with respect to this topic.
November 7, 2006 at 5:39 pm
It is more than just about convenience. In no way, shape or form do American women want to please their men. (It is all about THEM. SO be prepared to bend over backwards for your woman while she does nothing in return except complain.) Cooking for the average American woman is tantamount to SLAVERY. That’s right. In their minds, when they were granted the *freedom* to go out and work, they gained the right to refuse (to learn how) to cook.
If you expect your girlfriend to make you a sandwich or bring you a beer while you sit there, then you are a chauvanist pig.
One girl said to me “What are you going to do about it? There are no domestic women anymore.” I said “That’s why I’m going to marry a(n) [insert ethnicity here]“. She says “Well you can have your [racial insult here].”
Yes, American women are lovely, but not for enlightened men who know better.
November 7, 2006 at 5:44 pm
Excellent Post. It’s one of things about girls that I always observe.
Not much I like to say too much about myself, but it’s just what my friends say… I have a reputation for being the best chef along with my friends and my family. Cooking is just one of things that I really enjoy doing. My family makes me to do some cooking for them at some family gatherings. They kept talking so much about how good food are, my cooking and how I can produce such upscale restaurant-level food.
I actually taught myself all of those cooking when I grew up all of my life. I’ve been home alone so many times due to my parents being out to working. So, I was just being creative with food and wanted to make them into greatest looking and delicious meal. To me, food is a true art with some science of nutrition!
In fact, I have NOT met any American girls that can cook equally good or better than me. It is telling a lot about the current American society.
As one of my tests for my prospective girlfriend, I make her to cook for me and see how well they do with their cooking and preparing the meal. Also, their selection for meals. You know what? All of young American girls I hang out with didn’t pass my test for cooking. It’s a necessary test to find out if she has skills it takes to be an awesome and greatest wife in the world!
American girls always take all of those processed garbages and those frozen meal for burning them up in the microwave. I personally hate microwaves. They turn food into cardboard garbage. Also, they spend too much of money going out to eat. No wonder why they get so overweight and fat from overworking and spending less time cooking real homegrown food.
You can tell that to those Russian folks about how good American men can cook! LOL
November 7, 2006 at 7:32 pm
My ex’s idea of cooking was from the freezer, KFC or MacDonald’s. More pathetic news for America. How could we live without the microwave.
But now, I’m finding I can be somewhat creative myself in the kitchen. Within reason anyway. I miss the love within the meal.
November 7, 2006 at 7:41 pm
This post is awesome and true…. I can remember the days when my mom would cook or my grandmother and aunts. This is a lost art. American woman have it so easy here. They have meals that can be prepared in 5 minutes or a half hour and still it seems like a inconvience for them. Well guys we just cant win…..
November 7, 2006 at 9:05 pm
I have thousands of similar stories. I never was surprised, because I was raised to expect that type of behavior. In my family, the boundries were clearly defined. Now to all the feminist trolls, my mother was not passive, weak or the many other tired cliches. Ever met a passive and weak Italian woman??? They do not exist. It is the same with Russian and Slavic women. A girlfriend, fiancee or wife cooks for her special guy is out of love and RESPECT. Always remember the word respect. It speaks volumes on how little attention modern American women spend on the fine art of preparing a meal. Take the time to prepare and then enjoy it.
My grandmothers, aunts and mother knew the times were changing. So I had crash courses in good Tuscan recipes. They did not want me to live on a diet of microwave, fast food and take out. I have a list of friends, ex-girlfriends and room mates who miss my cooking style.
November 7, 2006 at 9:43 pm
I have to agree, I have tonnes of stories like that. The best one I have is that my father was in the military for 20 years, and at the beginning of their marriage (my mother married him when she was about 19-20) he had to be shipped off to basic training and such, so he was missing for a small portion of my childhood. I do remember when he came back my mom would always have a large meal, considering our budget, on the table, hot and waiting. Even if it was something as simple as porkchops and potatoes, she’d always have it ready for him when he got home. That was always the main thing for me, because it was always about being happy to see him instead of how much money they could blow at a resturant.
so at 10 my mom called me into the kitchen and gave me a knife and told me to cut potatoes. I’ve been cooking ever since!
November 7, 2006 at 9:47 pm
It brings me so much joy knowing that I can prepare a nice meal for my beloved. From a young age my mom has taught me how to not only cook the best russian cuisine but also the importance of presentation of the food. She taught me the importance of being able to prepare a nice meal for your family and especially if you are having company over. I grew up in the kitchen beside my mom and sister cooking for our family and friends. It is definetely something else that is embeded in our culture, something we simply love to do. It is so good to know that my family will never have to live off of junk food and microwaved meals.
November 7, 2006 at 9:51 pm
As I am back to the bachelor thing again, please don’t knock my microwave too much. It gets the job done and at a fraction of the electricity of the old oven.
Anxiously anticipating sharing time with my beloved preparing a meal together though. It will be again. I can feel it.
November 7, 2006 at 10:35 pm
I fully respect your right to use the microwave. However, I myself never ever use microwave for preparing my food. I only cook from stovetop or oven.
Here’s the article on dangers of using microwave. It’s your freedom of choice, but you still need to remember the price you are paying to use the microwave oven.
http://www.mercola.com/article/microwave/hazards.htm
http://www.mercola.com/article/microwave/hazards2.htm
It’s a fact that the Soviet bannned the use of microwave in 1976. Those Russians are smart enough to use real and homegrown food cooking from stove/oven.
November 8, 2006 at 12:07 am
The only women I know personally who can cook better than me are either born abroad, or my sister. Very few younger American women I’ve met thus far are good at cooking, most think tossing something in the microwave is cooking.
Taras
November 8, 2006 at 5:44 am
I was quite lucky in that my MOTHER, GRANDMOTHER were alive when I was young. They both insisted that I learn how to cook and they were the best teachers a student could have. Today I am an excellent cook and look forward to cooking for my FSU lady. I also look forward to eating what she will cook for me. My lady has already started to ask me what I like, in fact she is insisting that I tell her my favorites in advance of my trip to the FSU.
These ladies want to please their man in every way.
November 8, 2006 at 5:18 pm
Hey! That’s guite normal here in Russia. Girls are taught to cook since childhood. And they know how to arrange something nice and tasty. And it’s not a problem. They don’t feel abused by doing it. Sometimes they even kick guys out of kitchen, so they won’t mass anything up.
November 8, 2006 at 6:16 pm
you know there is a saying: stomach is on the way to mens’ hearts, or however it should sound in english
I for example hate cooking, but I do it, as seing a man eating with a pleasure and his expression is the best reward hehe
in poland that start to change, and more and more women stop cooking, but it is still most of them being great house wifes (somethimes also working, and still making everything work fine) and lets hope that wont change soon
on a contrary i still think men are cooking much beter than women do hahah
greetz
November 9, 2006 at 11:40 am
Just shows what a vast and empty desert relationships with American women have become.
I have you beat though: my girlfriends are Vietnamese, and VN cuisine beats anything the Russians have put together
November 9, 2006 at 12:27 pm
Here it is…
On behalf of Russian Women (RW) may I swear love to Western Men (WM) for your kitchen attitudes!
1. For your OWN love and talent for cooking… It’s sooooo touching, even more than OUR RW cooking to you WM starved by WW! When I face this “chefdom” all the way (funnily even with RM too), still can’t help melting ))
2. For your appreciation of OUR cooking! Generally, RM take women’s cooking (etc.) for granted. Moreover, they tend to place no value on RW’s domestic contribution to their general well-being, – as RM show it blatantly, from their “who-is-better” talks – and to divorce disputes (despite the _legal_ recognition).
3. For your sharing, responsible and respectful approach to housework. Every time a RM asks a RW if she can cook, just as he starts growing slightest likes for her, or still before – even in the first 15 minutes of acquaintance! – a RW suppresses a big GRRRR… Is It Really The Foremost Thing They Need Us For?? See above and get sad…
well, why complain? WM say, “I can teach you if you want, or just sit near as I am cooking, and entertain me!” :-*****
4. For your dietary habits. Those RW who love with their stomachs – demand mountains of heavy, indigestible sophisticated combinations that CAN turn cooking into round-the-clock slavery, and account for early disease mortality…
Conclusion:
So far that cooking is a celebration, not routine (isn’t it why Men are better cooks?;)),
and as you perceive it as Lovemaking as opposed to Spousal Duty,
we would LOVE to treat you to OUR delices and savour YOUR art… long live small restaurants and joint cooking, who needs microvaves!
Sorry for emotions… rejoicing at WM for all our kin… as you could never know what passions hide under a Russian Wife’s (TM) keep-the-face smile…
Salutations, Comrade Natalia
November 9, 2006 at 1:28 pm
Hi Natalia, could you elaborate a tad on the feelings and asperations of RW in general? It sounds interesting but I’m not completely up on the email jargon used.
I too can cook but the demands of so many other things deter from my expertise within the confines of the kitchen.
Canajun
November 9, 2006 at 2:34 pm
Hi Canajun,
glad to see you interested in what I decided to dedicate my blog to: the things we never tell a man but want them be or not to be (so very RW-like!) ))
I have envisaged categories on “RW Wants, Feels, Tolerance” within “In RUW Hearts, Souls, Minds”, “RMW philosophy”. (5.1., 5.3., 6.1.) If you or the illustrous fellowship might suggest some better category names, I am most grateful!
I commit to step forward with a comprehensive generalization as soon as the material “crystallizes” and finds time for itself… Meanwhile, there are a few miscellaneous posts.
Archive list here: http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/tag/russian-women-ukraine-women-dating-marriage/)
Most relevant to your request:
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/10/02/the-top-must-read-to-understand-and-enchant-a-russian-woman/
Also a clear picture in my post on RW and Feminism, but quoting it in this thread is rather off-topic. )
*TO WHOM IT MAY CONCERN*
Sorry for the illegible sidebar! just doing my first stumbles into HTML and search engine optimization, all by the feel… already knowing how to change text fonts (and editing old posts now), but the sidebar settings I can’t hack! ((( Can anyone help? )
BRGDS
November 9, 2006 at 2:57 pm
The more I hear, the more I know I have to get out of this place…
What job do you do in Russia to be able to live there? I would live abroad if I could, but I don’t know what I would do for work.
November 9, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Well, Twister there are many aways to work in a foreign country. I went to Russia as an exchange student. Then I got a job teaching English with a school associated with Moscow State University. Also, I made money on the side being a private tutor.
There are plenty of US and European companies that have subsidaries in Russia and the FSU. Any positions are available. IT, accounting, sales etc, etc. There are plenty of sites out there for overseas employment and advice on moving to another country.
My way was different, because I started out through two universities that did most of the paperwork for me. All I had to do was show up at the airport. Now, I visit at least twice a year to Russia and the Ukraine.
November 10, 2006 at 7:14 am
I have to agree. I like women (especially the sex part). I like to talk to them, etc. BUT…
Very few remember to look after their man. I suppose it’s starts at the very beginning of any male-female relationship. We spoil them, and they expect it. It’s our western culture, and of course we’ll do almost anything to get our short term goals satisfied. So they grow up spoiled and it goes on and on.
The last girlfriend could barely make a sandwich for herself, never mind offering to make me one at the same time. I had to move on. That’s not a relationship. That was heading towards an adoption.
November 10, 2006 at 9:09 am
Hi Barney,
you know what the irony is? RUSSIAN WOMEN WANT WESTERN MEN TO SPOIL RUSSIAN WOMEN! The only difference is that we are accustomed to look afer our men – SO THAT TO RETURN THE SAME ATTITUDE.
Will soon write a couple of posts on this topic.
Take care,
Comrade Natalia
November 10, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Johnreeds~
As a former kitchen manager of an Asian restaurant, I can say with great confindence that I not only love eating VN food, but enjoy preparing it as well…
…and any man who appreciates his significant other’s culture and cuisine will undoubtedly lean toward that genre of food.
However, to say that Vietnamese food tops Russian food would be like saying that the invention of fire is better than that of the wheel – in other words, feel free to enjoy your pork spring rolls; I’m quite happy with my pirozhky
By the way gents – if you like to cook as much as I do, check out this site: http://ruscuisine.com/ Damn I’m hungry!!!
November 10, 2006 at 5:46 pm
Thanks for the website, WK. Too bad that I’m already full from my wonderful lunch.
I’ll cook some interesting Russian food for myself and my family.
There’s an interesting discussion about Russian wife in the forum of that website.
November 10, 2006 at 10:58 pm
All Hails,
taking steps to keep my promises about RW Secrets:
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/11/10/happy-friendly-smiling-russian-ladies-keep-the-face-mentality/
Mildly )
Natalia
November 10, 2006 at 10:58 pm
All Hails,
taking steps to keep my promises about RW Secrets:
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/11/10/happy-friendly-smiling-russian-ladies-keep-the-face-mentality/
Tenderly )
Natalia
November 11, 2006 at 6:13 am
I think everything said here is great. I believe that as guys we should be able to take care of ourselves and cooking is at the top of the list. But women (esp. western European and American) who bring nothing but their bodies to the table should at least develop some domestic skills. Of course you don’t marry them just for that!
But about the “Dangers of Microwaves” That’s pure bullshit. The article was so ridiculous I just had to address it, please I don’t want you to be taken in by that nonsense. Microwaves have longer wavelengths and lower energies than visible light, although the power delivered from the actual device is much higher.
The “violent” transition between isomers happens all the time in the body by enzymes called isomerases.
As far as the “thermic” effects of destroying the electric potentials. Electric and chemical gradients are used to power transport of material (active transport) in and out of the living cell, and to prevent it from bursting or shriveling (hypo and hypertonic situations). None of this matters when you’re eating because its broken down anyway, lol.
And the cancer thing: A great deal of energy is required to disrupt the hydrogen Adenine-Thymine or Guanine-Cytosine bonds in DNA through electromagnetic radiation. Regular light can’t do it (obviously) only lower frequency (higher energy) light can. Even the energy delivered to the food from the microwave is released as heat when you eat it, it does not release high energy (uv and beyond) radiation. Unless you are sitting in the microwave while it’s on, you have nothing to worry about
The studies (what studies?) about eating microwaved food causing cancers most likely comes from the preservatives used in SOME foods than the process itself, lol.
As for some of the conclusions, let’s look at some of the claims made at the end:
Eating microwaved food “shorts out” electrical impulses in the brain by depolarizing:
Neurons (nerve cells) undergo depolarization all the time, in fact it is the influx of primarily sodium ions into the cytosol that results in a positive action potential. This phenomenon is required to propogate signals down the axon. There’s no way “microwaved” foods could affect that unless they release proteins that somehow bind neurotransmitters/receptors (nope). Even if that was the case they would be denatured from the microwave process.
The human body breaks down unknown substances all the time. That’s why people who have had blood/skin transplants have to take immunosuppresants to prevent their bodies from attacking themselves.
Continual ingestion of microwaved food causes immune system deficiences through lymph gland and blood serum alterations (lol the guy throws in anatomy/physiology terms to distract and confuse) Total bullshit.
Look, I’m an open minded guy and am actually in to meditation. But I am also educated and am not going to be taken in by these hucksters. Don’t allow the same to happen to you.
November 11, 2006 at 3:25 pm
Thank you for your interesting post about scientific discussions about body and food and microwave. I appreciate a different perspective like yours.
You made good points about body and its properties. In this post, I’m talking more about how microwaves affect taste and textures of food itself. That does not relate to your points about science and functions of body.
From my years of experiments of microwaves and oven, I found that food coming out of oven is much more tasty than microwaved food. For example, I wanted to heat up two slices of leftover frozen pizza from Papa John’s. I put one slice in microwave and the other one in the oven heated at 400 degrees. How they turned out? Microwaved pizza crust turned into stale very quickly and taste like a soft paper towel while the vegetables and meat tasted so plain and dull. The pizza coming out of oven is almost similar to the newly made pizza and tasted so different from microwaved pizza. Imagine how bread tastes when it was heated by microwaves instead of oven.
It was the same for homemade lasagna, casseroles and on and on. I’d rather to eat food that taste quite delicious and much more original. I still don’t use microwaves at all and still won’t use it at all in the future.
November 11, 2006 at 3:30 pm
It must be rememberd that microwaves can be deadly if you are irradiated with them. Exposure to microwave radiation has caused cancers and leukemia. Equipment such as radars can actually turn a person into a living torch or cook him or her alive. Industries worldwide have machines that can melt materials in seconds with high powreed beams of microwaves, just use the right resonance frequency for a given material and it melts. I know for a fact how dangerous microwave radiation can be, when I worked on naval vessels at a local shipyard, we were warned not to go into certain areas when the radars were being operated. Crewmen have told me what happens to birds who fly near the radar emitters also. Where this ties into microwave ovens is that an oven with a faulty door can expose you to harmful amounts of microwave radiation. If the door won’t close properly, then don’t use the oven, repair or replace it. I doubt microwaves can turn food toxic, but there’s no doubt that exposure to them is not good for you.
Taras
November 11, 2006 at 6:39 pm
QuietRebel:
Well your post said there were dangers in heating food with microwaves. I’m assuming that’s why you posted those two links. As far as enjoying eating food from oven, that’s fine and understandable, I was addressing the arguments you put up there–they’re totally false.
Taras: Absolutely, I think I addressed that in the first part, of course the power delivered in the device is huge, but that doesn’t mean the food is somehow going to be “morphed” into a cancer causing variety.
You are totally right, that one shouldn’t use a microwave w/ a broken door
I’m just referring to the faulty logic and scare tactics used in the article.
November 11, 2006 at 10:17 pm
We had a saying here in america that, “Only the pure of heart can make a good soup(or stew)”.
It comes compassion, consideration, graceful attitude and understanding when a woman cooks for a man. Women must enjoy cooking as a source of personal satisfaction because they are giving their best for him.
That is what I want to see from russian women when I go there; give me all your effort and determination and dedication and also be graceful.
I copied this piece from one of the above site links: [Happy and Friendly?! Russian ladies' "Keep the face" mentality]
Humble as she looks, a Russian Woman has vast wants and needs, contained. She is as optimistic as to expect her aspirations to be known and satisfied without her announcing them, – and as pessimistic as to presume nobody’s going to make her dreams come true.
I recognized something crucial about integrity here between Ameri-con women and RW
and that is they both want but crucially(and this is the right attitude in my view)RW are not so optimistic as to be delusional, they should realize that some pessimism is required as a balance so as not to be so let down when you lose something, or “it does not work out”.
Furthermore if this is true: “A Russian Lady Doesn’t Brag” then that is another key difference between AW and RW, because AW always wants to be praised for everything no matter how insignificant, AW has “look at me” disorder.
And I like this as well, a key quality to have from my certain point of view as a man:
Russian Women are extremely self-critical. What it implies is not inferiority, but higher standards. If she says she’s looking “horrible”, it means apology for looking not as gorgeous as she can be, and seeking to be reassured that she’s still lovable and loved (or endearing and approved – in respect to strangers). “Agreeable appearance” means indeed attractive, and “a couple extra kilos” you would hardly ever notice.
This self-criticism is essential to please men it is a showing of making an effort to improve oneself for the benefit of others.
It is a way of showing self-lessness and compassion, consideration and understanding.
Yes all these RW qualities are excellent for wife and children, and a stable home life.
Here in America it is not like that but we men survive and struggle for the ideals we set out to achieve for the better of everyone.
Thank You.
I hoped this provided some inspiration and determination not to give up!
November 11, 2006 at 11:46 pm
This is a revised version of the previous comment I had made (.30), for what its worth, From C.
Dear friends I hope you are all well and in good spirit,
We have an old saying here in America that, “Only the pure of heart can make a good soup(or stew)”.
Women show their compassion, consideration, graceful attitude and understanding when they cook for a man. Women must enjoy cooking as a source of personal satisfaction/gratification because they are “giving their all” /giving their best for his enjoyment. When I read the story above, From WK , I was confident in my satisfaction that justice had been served for these men and women. What I mean is justice can show itself in different forms and it is an awesome thing to recognize it when it happens! What a satisfying quality for women to possess when they do something graceful and then in total humility just smile modestly, knowing that men have recognized that they have done the right thing! (And what a turn on, better than sex, when justice is fulfilled) How I yearn for the days when I go to capture my RW, but for now I will have to just watch and wait patient.
That is what I want to see from Russian women when I visit Russia eventually; Russian Women, give me all your effort, determination, dedication, trust and also be graceful. That is all Men ask, and it is “easy as pie” to do! Men are complicated but we want little and expect you(RW) to do your best in everything you do. My view is that it is better to give than to receive.
I copied this piece from one of the site links above, Thank You in advance to its author: [Happy and Friendly?! Russian ladies’ “Keep the face(faith)” mentality]
Humble as she looks, a Russian woman has vast wants and needs, contained. She is as optimistic as to expect her aspirations to be known and satisfied without her announcing them, – and as pessimistic as to presume nobody’s going to make her dreams come true.
I recognized something crucial about RWs integrity (if it is true?) when reading this piece because I had a memory of hearing this phrase (perhaps in a movie?) about “RW being in great spirit/attitude, but not being unrealistic/unsatisfied about her expectations of men/or others”(if this is true, How pleasant and graceful is that?)
This pleasant personality/character trait, is RW “want”, but crucially RW are not so optimistic as to be delusional or spoiled (a disgraceful trait of current AW). RW should realize that some pessimism is proper/ actually required in life as a balance/ a fact of real life, so as not to be so let down when, for instance, you experience “losses”, This is a realization that life can be great but, “you have to be able to take the good with the bad, and learn from it” a.k.a. “put your best face on” OR “put your best foot forward”.
Furthermore, (if this is true?): “A Russian Lady Doesn’t Brag”. That is another key difference between AW here and RW there. Because AW always want to be praised/recognized for everything they do, no matter how insignificant, AW have “look at me” disorder, which stems from AWs childhood dysfunction/ unhealthiness.
This is another quality that is important to me for a woman to possess/understand and I am pleased that RW do possess it:
Russian Women (RW) are extremely self-critical. What this means is not about her inferiority, but a want of personal improvement and of higher standards ( which is awesome!!. If she says she’s looking “horrible”, it means apology for looking not as gorgeous as she should be, and seeking to be reassured that she’s still lovable and loved (or endearing and approved – in respect to strangers). “Agreeable appearance” means indeed attractive, and “a couple extra kilos” you would hardly ever notice.
This self-criticism is essential for personal development and to please men. Self criticism is a way of showing men that you are making an effort to improve yourself for the benefit of others; and of being selfless and graceful (which is an incredible “turn on” to me for sure!). It is a way of showing self-lessness/grace, compassion, consideration and understanding. In opposition, AW would rather criticize men, or externalize their criticism onto others rather than criticize themselves! This abrasive trait of AW is extremely abhorrent to me.
Oh, and another thing RW need to understand is that AW are insecure about doing feminine tasks, or of being feminine at all, AW have lost their feminine identity/”marriage-ability” which suited them and have taken on an abrasive(rough), slutty, aggressive(bragging,abusive) and angry(swearing/emotional hatred) position with American men and others. AW have little or no knowledge of how to cook or clean (even their own room)! This may be surprising to RW, but it is the bitter and unfourtunate truth for men in America today.
Yes, and all these subtle RW qualities are excellent for a wife and children, and a stable home life. Yes I want a beautiful and healthy Russian woman for my children and that woman must also possess the right personal qualities for me to be interested in them. AW are somewhat pretty here in America, but only from the point of view that: a thoroughbred horse is nice to look at but it is not marrigiable! To sum up with a comment from a previous post in “Russian Women”: Put Up or Shut Up.
My point is: AW have nothing on RW!
In all seriousness, I survive and struggle for the ideals I set out to achieve for the better of everyone, I can do everything from Cooking to delivering Justice and I only want a woman that will compliment my achievements
I could elaborate even further as I feel passionately about this subject and I have a doubtless point of view about the position and purpose of men and women in life.
Thank You for considering my point of view.
I hoped this provided some inspiration and determination to always give your best for the better of everyone!
November 12, 2006 at 3:13 pm
The reason why I pointed that out HaroldZoid is the fact that a microwave oven has a magentron that is basically the same thing that radar sets use to beam microwaves outwards. The first microwaves really were RADAR ranges, they used an emitter identical to many old models of RADAR systems. Newer ones don’t use a magetron well made enough for a RADAR set, but they work in exactly the same manner. The inventor of the microwave oven was in fact a RADAR engineer who carried chocolate bars in his pockets, and whenever he was near the equipment he was testing, they melted in his pockets! Like many other people who were working around this sort of equipment before the dangers were fully understood, he did die of the radiation ecposure he received from leukemia if I’m not mistaken.
Taras
November 12, 2006 at 4:18 pm
Yes indeed. This sounds like my wife (Japanese) exactly.
She cooks her ass off, and she really enjoys doing it. She even has this notebook with recipes in it, neatly written and highly organized.
It’s my impression that women from old cultures (e.g. Russia, Japan, Korea, etc) really know how to take care of business in the kitchen.
The American woman that can match a Russian (or Japanese) woman in the kitchen (or anywhere else for that matter) is quite rare.
November 14, 2006 at 2:31 am
OHHHHH… almost got a heartache…
C., what do you mean by “delivering Justice”? Please restore my belief in humanity! ))) Hope the “position and purpose of… women in life” to you is not that of a “draught horse” as opposed to “race horse”?! The “draught horse” concept is an attitude that many Russian women suffer from their local men, this is the main reason why they consider [those]Western men [who are cultured to "give their all" too - otherwise what for should they all "give you all their effort, determination, dedication, trust and also be graceful"??], and changing her life only to face the same expectation of robotic “total silent humility” is one of the reasons why a Russian wife would “turn 180 away from international marriage, slam the door and burn the house down [understanding it figuratively - N.O.]” as RW once wrote.
This is the very pessimistic impression I got from your impression from my post )) which I have written just to dispel a popular delusion about Russian women’s unrequited service.
“She is as optimistic as to expect her aspirations to be known and satisfied without her announcing them”. Pessimism is just another reason of not voicing them, which makes it still more important for the man to find out those needs and satisfy them, otherwise a Russian woman DOES feel let down, frustrated, and her character deteriorates (you never heard a Russian wife after several years of a “horse” marriage with no energy and feelings left for sex… anв probably have not read up to the place where I mentioned the role of women’s frustration in Russian revolutions.)
“She doesn’t brag…. yet she DOES need praise, the more than she objects…” hey, isn’t being worth praise and praising her man a better way to “make him satisfied” than her self-criticism??
and, sorry, how do the “most masculine” men survive without a wife to do the “feminine” cleaning? Lost in dirt? Is their masculinity so fragile that it’s threatened by touching house appliances?
Well, declaring your position when meeting Russian women is all right. Everyone should be aware of each other’s most important points to decide if the match works.
Sincerely, Natalia
November 14, 2006 at 11:20 am
So good you explain Wonderlander. The more you explain in this special way, the more you reveal the truth of which you speak. I hope all women I meet could bring such visions to my mind with simple yet eloquent words and the way you use them.
Thank you.
Canajun
November 16, 2006 at 7:54 am
Let me get this right. The woman must always cook for the man.
Say, right after giving birth, she’d better get into that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans, and no complaints about the pain she’s in.
Or she never gets ill or sick or tired to the point where she cannot cook or clean.
I know this one will never be posted. You men are selfish, selfish, selfish selfish!
And–before you say a word. I cook, clean sew. I make clothing for fun. I am an outstanding gourmet cook. But I cook for people who RESPECT me as a person and who do not view me as an object. I am also a professional accountant and a very busy officer of a figure skating club.
But none of that for you. All you want is a stepford wife who will fetch your beer and rub your stinking feet.
Sheesh!
November 17, 2006 at 11:29 pm
brensgrrl- sound’s like a grrrrrlpower name ;D
I don’t think you quite understand the article that well. It did nothing to say that women should cook even when she is ill or in pain; I see no mention of that. All it said was that women should cook for their men because it’s a huge sign of love and devotion. If you’re cooking for someone who disrespects you, then you shouldn’t be in that relationship in the first place.
I don’t think being a professional has to do anything with cooking personally. Sorry if I can’t make that correlation.
All these guys want is a woman who’ll treat them like a man.If it makes my husband’s day to “fetch his beer and rub his stinking feet”, then I’ll do that to make him happy.
November 18, 2006 at 12:15 am
Well put Kara, and conversely women want men who’ll treat them like women too. Lots of men cook, professionals or not, and I agree with you that one has nothing to do with the other. I’m college educated and I cook frequently,it’s no big deal. I cook for my mother when she doesn’t feel up to doing it herself, and I did the same for my ex wife too. Besides, women and men too forget in any relationship there’s give and take, it’s a two-way street instead of what one can gain for him or herself. Brensgrrl and her ilk forget women always have had power. It’s just not the same as men’s, but no less potent or important.
Taras
November 18, 2006 at 1:05 am
bensgrrl- you’re an accountant, an officer of a figure skating club AND a gourmet cook. I don’t think so.
Try a professional cashier, an assistant go-fer and a professional microwaver and oven heater-upper.
November 18, 2006 at 4:49 am
brensgrrl Says:
November 16th, 2006 at 7:54 am
“Let me get this right. The woman must always cook for the man.”
In a word… Yes!!
Don’t hate lady. Just because you haven’t washed a dish since 1979, don’t be coming up in here talking foolishness, ya hear??
Go on somewhere.
Grown folks is talking here!
November 19, 2006 at 2:37 am
Taras: Thanks ;D. I know my mother taught my father how to cook, and he willingly did so so he could impress her. She’s told me this story over and over, but she came home one day (they were very poor) and he had cooked her porkchops. However, they didnt have enough spices and swapped some, like cinnamon for cajun! They had kraft dinner for supper that night, but she’s never forgotten it.
Kzarz, she might be what I call a “convient” cook. She probably doesn’t cook anything that takes too much time, and buys packs of frozen veggies instead of fresh. I’ve known quite a few “professional” gals whom have thought that this was “cooking”. Imagine the look on their faces while I made a full 3 course meal!
November 19, 2006 at 2:46 am
To Natalie,
You have misunderstood what I said.
I only said nice things about your people.
Do not get frustrated, that is no way to pass a test.
It is just nice to hear a story of women doing traditional work and getting enjoyment/fullfillment from it, seeing that others are happy and not just her own interests being fullfilled.
When men are being genuine you just have to accept that what they tell you is true or else you can not understand our point of view.
Do not assume anything that is dangerous and leads to arguments.
I hope that you and others can understand my point of view.
Sincerely, C
November 20, 2006 at 2:10 am
Women in the US cook and real well too, and we know how to please our men just like Russian women. Thank you!!!!!
November 20, 2006 at 1:14 pm
Jodi, you really have to start observing some women outside of your circle of friends.
November 20, 2006 at 2:11 pm
jodi- I agree that some American women can cook but I think most are convenient cooks. When I was single, I was that way too but do they (American females) ENJOY cooking for their families like the Russian ladies that I have met? These ladies just absolutely ADORE cooking for their families. They think of cooking not a chore but a chance for the entire family to bond. Nothing is better for a Russian lady than to have her husband and her children ask for seconds. From expereince, my mother-in law made the most delicious meals. She had so many main courses, it was like being in a 5 star Russian restaurant. And she did this with a smile, never once complaining how difficult it is. My wife is the same way, she hates it when I have business dinner meetings (which is a rartiy) and she looks forward to me coming home and chowing down her food. Sad to say, the ladies that I have dated in the past NEVER cooked for me. They expected me to take them out to dinner on our dates. And when I tried to cook for them, it was met with picky eating and after-criticism.
And Jodi, I agree with Hero. Take the time to observe womens behavior and dress in the malls and ask various single males about the sad state of affairs of dating and finding the right woman. And then you’ll see why blogs such as this one is resonating among us males. As for me, I was turned off and turned away by so many PROFESSIONAL women, it was hilarious. Now these same women are talking to me when they see my wedding ring. Go figure.
November 23, 2006 at 11:40 am
I think you guys are all looking in the wrong place for american women… Honestly, we’re not all horrible cooks, and some of us still love to cook for our family and loved ones. I’m not yet 25, and a medical student, soon to be a doctor. I love having people over, and making feasts, for which I ususally have to be in the kitchen for several days. My mom and I cook huge meals for all family get-togethers. I also love cooking for my boyfriend (funny how I’ve turned to other cultures as well, only having dated 1 american man since college, and hoping not to have to date another), who loves my cooking.
My problem with american men, is actually almost identical. The men I’ve met are uncultured, won’t do their own laundry, and are afraid to even HAVE a kitchen in their house, let alone use it. They also don’t appreciate anything that I do for them. If I want to go out to dinner, it’s only to eat something that is different, that maybe I wouldn’t have even though of combining… (like snapper in a savory strawberry and cream sauce… actually delicious). I do ask for something in return, which is probably where some of the other comments come in. I don’t want any man to do my housework, what I want is to share it. 2 people working together can cut the work down by at least half the time and effort.
In modern america, the women are as powerful as men, and our place is no longer in the kitchen solely. As men and women are equally placed, I believe that we have equal demands. American women are no longer as subserviant as we were, but it is a product of our society. We are encouraged, pushed to be more, to strive for equality. Very few girls strive to be a homemaker, and those that do are almost ostracized.
If we want to live our lives, we must be able to be independent, because who wants to live off of the money of others? For example, if I want to go to an opera or to take up pottery or some other artform, and my boyfriend doesn’t want to, should I be using HIS hard-earned money just to do what I want? I don’t see that as fair. I must be able to have the money I need to do the things that I want to do. I couldn’t do that if I were attached solely to a man and doing nothing but serving him, cleaning for him, etc. We are taught that independance is as essential to life as air or water.
Anyways, that’s my 2 cents.
Cheers,
Marissa
November 23, 2006 at 1:37 pm
Marissa wrote:
“I think you guys are all looking in the wrong place for american women… ”
And where would be the right place? We’ve looked EVERYWHERE.
Marissa wrote:
“I love having people over, and making feasts, for which I ususally have to be in the kitchen for several days”
So how did you find the time to post this message on Thanksgiving Day?
Marissa wrote:
“only having dated 1 american man since college, and hoping not to have to date another”
And I’ve only dated one doctor in my life, and I will DEFINITELY never date another one. I found her to be arrogant and mean-spirited and she had a HUGE chip on her shoulder. She only became a doctor to show the world how smart she was; she didn’t have an ounce of compassion and didn’t care at all about helping people.
Marissa said:
“The men I’ve met are uncultured, won’t do their own laundry, and are afraid to even HAVE a kitchen in their house, let alone use it. They also don’t appreciate anything that I do for them.”
It sounds to me like you’re the one who’s looking in the wrong places. Where do you meet these guys? Bars? Frat parties? The internet?
Marissa said:
“In modern america, the women are as powerful as men”
Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Women have become so powerful because they receive preferential treatment in college admissions, hiring, and promotions. Try playing on a level playing field some time.
Marissa said:
“should I be using HIS hard-earned money just to do what I want? I don’t see that as fair”
But if you got divorced, I bet you’d have no problem going to divorce court and robbing your ex-husband of everything he ever earned.
I do see it as fair for a husband to provide for his wife if she does her share of the housework, takes care of the kids, stays in shape, and provides her husband with a decent sex life. The members of a married couple should not be thinking “What’s mine in mine, and what’s yours is yours”. It’s all about SHARING.
Marissa wrote
“Anyways, that’s my 2 cents.”
And it was worth every penny.
November 23, 2006 at 8:27 pm
Hero, I was not being self-righteous or derogitory in any part of what I wrote, and I’m sorry that you saw it that way. Let me address the comments as they came…
The question about how I made time to write that on Thanksgiving is actually because I’m not at home right now, I’m outside of the country and away from family (in a tiny island in the Caribbean), as well as from other Americans that celebrate this holiday. I am going to a dinner, and bringing a simple dish, but only because on this island of 1500 people, it’s hard, if not impossible to find ingredients for any of the dishes that I like to cook that have not already spoiled, and I have no oven in which to cook a turkey anyways. In fact, I had to make the sour cream and butter for this dish from scratch because there is none here that is not spoiled, but there is milk… Who knew you could make those out of powdered milk?
Next comment:
“And I’ve only dated one doctor in my life, and I will DEFINITELY never date another one. I found her to be arrogant and mean-spirited and she had a HUGE chip on her shoulder. She only became a doctor to show the world how smart she was; she didn’t have an ounce of compassion and didn’t care at all about helping people.”
I’m sorry if I offend anyone with this comment, but I feel that almost all doctors, not just the female ones, are arrogant and mean-spirited, and although I’m not the leading expert in this, I do see the people with whom I am going to school right now. Doctors are used to playing GOD in their practice, with the power (at least in their minds) of life-or-death. To be completely honest, in a class of 75 students, I see maybe 3 people that I would want to attempt to cure me, or that I would want by my bedside as I was dying.
As a fact, the divorce rate for doctors is actually quite higher than the national average (higher still for psychiatrists), for exactly that reason. I personally don’t want a doctor within 10 miles of my personal life, which is why I’m not, nor do I forsee myself ever dating a doctor, so at least we can agree on one thing.
This discussion, though is not about my personal beliefs or who I am, since you do not know me other than what I have written here. If you would like to know, I became a doctor so that (once I pay off my loans) I can travel to Latin America or Africa with Doctors Without Borders or another organization to do relief work. I’m here because I love taking care of people, helping them feel better, and making them smile.
Next comment:
“It sounds to me like you’re the one who’s looking in the wrong places. Where do you meet these guys? Bars? Frat parties? The internet?”
Unlike the typical American female, I can’t stand bars, never been to a frat party, and I do not date people from the internet. A strong, confident woman (ESPECIALLY one that will be or is a doctor, mainly because it seems to bruise most egos, or so I’ve been told) is a complete turn off to the typical american male, and most males that I have known as friends and otherwise are looking for someone that will take over for their mother.
Believe me, I would LOVE to meet men that are not like that, so please, if I’m meeting men in the wrong place, where should I meet men that can take care of themselves? So far, I’ve only found foreign men that can do that, which seems to break my poor family’s collective hearts.
Next comment:
“Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Women have become so powerful because they receive preferential treatment in college admissions, hiring, and promotions. Try playing on a level playing field some time.”
I was not saying anything about how great I personally was. And I cannot argue that we get preferential treatment in many of those areas. Those are throwbacks to a time when women who didn’t want to spend their lives serving men needed help doing so. And I will also not deny that the what caucasian male is arguably the most discriminated-against type of person, and I’m sorry if that has made you and a lot of other white caucasian american men bitter. I do hope for a day when everything is equal for men and women and all races, but that world is not here yet, and we need to make do with what we have.
Having said that I believe with 99.95% certainty that even with a comletely level playing field, that I still would have accomplished what I have. (Ok, maybe THAT was a slight pat on the back
)
Next comment:
“But if you got divorced, I bet you’d have no problem going to divorce court and robbing your ex-husband of everything he ever earned.
I do see it as fair for a husband to provide for his wife if she does her share of the housework, takes care of the kids, stays in shape, and provides her husband with a decent sex life. The members of a married couple should not be thinking “What’s mine in mine, and what’s yours is yours”. It’s all about SHARING.”
Don’t even know where to start with this one.
Granted, I have never personally gone through a divorce, but I’ve seen enough of them, and lived through 2 (My mother divorced twice, and really, there is no need to comment on that. Both men were physically and emotionally abusive because she was not the perfect woman you described). She took the house in one of the divorces, but only because she paid for it, as well as all of the repairs (it was a poorly made log cabin).
Do you really want to make judgements on a person that you have not even met, about what she would or would not do in the case of a possible divorce when technically she’s not even married yet? I’m sorry, but I’d like to consider a marriage before I start thinking about divorce.
So, speaking about marraige, I personally believe that both parts of a balanced relationship should have lives outside of the relationship to allow for personal growth, and that my husband should not ask me for money to do that, nor should I ask him the same (I do have expensive hobbies). I do, on the other hand, believe in sharing the money for the house etc, things that we do together, and even if he needs money once in a while for emergencies, etc.
Basically, what you seem to be describing as your ideal wife is a relationship where there is no sharing, but in fact, where the wife does 100% for everyone else and nothing for herself (because where would she find the time?). That’s a part of an argument that I cannot challenge, because it is a personal opinion, but what does she get out of it?
I entered this discussion for intellectual interest, and do not need to, nor desire to be cut down for anything that I say, which by the way is another reason why I don’t date American men.
Again, another 2 cents.
Cheers,
Marissa
November 23, 2006 at 9:10 pm
Marissa said:
“A strong, confident woman (ESPECIALLY one that will be or is a doctor, mainly because it seems to bruise most egos, or so I’ve been told) is a complete turn off to the typical american male, ”
Oh boy, I wish I had a nickel for every time I heard THAT line. Like RW_man said, what you’ve said is a very poor spin of a man’s decision to reject you. Also, it has been pointed out many times on this blog that it’s possible for a woman to be strong and still be feminine. We American males aren’t turned off by strong confident women, we’re turned off by women who act like MEN.
You said
“Having said that I believe with 99.95% certainty that even with a comletely level playing field, that I still would have accomplished what I have.”
Oh yeah? Well, I managed to get a Ph.D. in Math and an M.S. in Electrical Engineering and my playing field was more like a mine field.
You said
“My mother divorced twice, and really, there is no need to comment on that. Both men were physically and emotionally abusive because she was not the perfect woman you described”
Believe it or not, I have a great deal of sympathy for you and your mom. But don’t think that all men are like that. Besides, most divorces (about 70%) in the USA are so called “no-fault” divorces initiated by the woman.
You said:
“Basically, what you seem to be describing as your ideal wife is a relationship where there is no sharing, but in fact, where the wife does 100% for everyone else and nothing for herself”
That’s a typical feminazi tactic: putting words into her opponent’s mouth. Where did I say that the wife should do NOTHING for herself?
You said
“I entered this discussion for intellectual interest”
Why don’t you just go read a book? Or have a debate with your foreign boyfriend, who no doubt is intellectually superior to us obtuse, uncultured American men? Oh wait, your boyfriend probably agrees with everything you say. He’d better, right?
November 24, 2006 at 3:55 am
Hero you have done enough.
Your comment in 48. was excellent.
In particular this bit:
(and I would add)
Don’t break your arm patting yourself on the back. Women have become so (artificially) powerful because they receive preferential treatment in college admissions,(college programs),(scholarships), hiring, (marriage), (run ins with cops), (on television), (in the news), (in the medical treatment field, for eg: breast cancer “research”), and (job)promotions. Play on a level playing field some time where you are regcognized for your actions and not for your gender.
oh yeah and this bit bears repeating:
And I’ve only dated one doctor in my life, and I will DEFINITELY never date another one. I found her to be arrogant and mean-spirited and she had a HUGE chip on her shoulder(something to prove). She only became a doctor to show the world how smart she was(ego); she didn’t have an ounce of compassion and didn’t care at all about helping people. Women are ruthless and far more aggressive than men are when they let their emotions bring out the worst in them.
You AW need to understand this simple fact of life that men, such as me, observe everyday in college and at work and in my neighborhood: Stop being “smarter, better, faster” than the men you meet. To some extent, a woman self effaces and lives through her husband and children. Find a man you naturally look up to, respect and trust. Don’t waste time with boys. Men want power; women want love. Heterosexual union involves the exchange of the two: female power (in the worldly sense) for male love (his power expressed as otherworldly love.)
Sincerely, C
November 24, 2006 at 4:25 am
Hi Marissa,
Welcome to this site.. Although I do not agree with some of the things you’ve put out I respect the overall tone because I do not sense any real malice on your part.
I read your comments and will be putting up a significant post based on some of the ideas you are trying to put forth. You are more then welcome to debate on the intellectual exercise that you’ve mentioned as opposed to throwing bombs like other women have in the past.
Again welcome and Happy Thanksgiving..
GL
November 24, 2006 at 10:35 am
Thank you for the welcome, RW_man. I look forward to reading your point of view. There is no malice, real or imagined, on my part. I’m glad that at least you are willing to see that.
November 24, 2006 at 4:27 pm
Some foreign currency from a Ukrainian…
Whereas Marissa spoke about both SHARING outer-breadwinning work and housework.
* “I do see it as fair for a husband to provide for his wife if she does her share of the housework, takes care of the kids, stays in shape, and provides her husband with a decent sex life. The members of a married couple should not be thinking “What’s mine in mine, and what’s yours is yours”. It’s all about SHARING.”
Isn’t it a perfect example of “mine” and “yours”?
* “You AW need to understand this simple fact of life that men, such as me, observe everyday in college and at work and in my neighborhood: Stop being “smarter, better, faster” than the men you meet. To some extent, a woman self effaces and lives through her husband and children.”
These are two extreme attitudes; “the truth is somewhere in between”; and it takes indeed an anyworldly Human (actually, two) to reach and keep equilibrium. )
On the one hand, many women still feel the inertial impulse to outdo the times when “men in general” or “some bad guys” place(d) “women in general” or “some poor girls” inferior by default. (Here is where all quarrel comes from: generalizations and extreme examples.)
Re preferential treatment… In the Former Soviet Union, where law is Western and tradition somewhat Asiatic, it is a common saying that, “to deserve half of what the man gets, a woman must do twice more and better”. When you find a vacancy with regular responsibilities (documentation, negotiation,.. no polar expeditions), exactly up to your qualifications, and the only requirement you don’t meet is your sex, won’t you try to justify yourself by proving better? Sure it’s not business reasonable to set gender quotas, but how else you could eradicate prejudice that makes a boss take a decision on appointment or promotion expressly and exclusively grounded on the gender factor – “yes I know and feel sorry, but he’s a Man”?
The only thing we all actually need is an indeed level playground.
(Breast cancer as a preference? LOL! Aren’t there prostata programs?)
And in relationships (on the other hand), this “who’s better” attitude is non-sense… both ways. I appreciate you, you appreciate me. Nobody wants to be inferior. I would look up to you because of your personality and success (and all other things). You would admire me for the same (and all other things). I was engaged for 8 years to a fellow professional. We would not love each other as “a better expert than oneself” – it’s ridiculous. We took pride of the Beloved being a good expert. (Although we often started “complimenting contests”: “you are better!” – “no, you are!”)
Whoever wants to self-efface, let her. But why demand extinguishment of what have once been making her special?
* “As men and women are equally placed, I believe that we have equal demands.”
No. We have equal demands and should be equally placed. Not more – not less.
* “Men want power; women want love. Heterosexual union involves the exchange of the two: female power (in the worldly sense) for male love (his power expressed as otherworldly love.)”
Some inconsistency here. Maybe too otherworldly for a humble mundane creature like me…
Men want power – so they should be returned the power they are used to? Women want love – and not the power they are instead imposed on, eh?
I agree 100% that love is a power, but power as an expression of love? Love is a choice of one-and-only. Is there much personal preference whom to exert power over (especially if it requires “self-effacement”)? Love is care for other one’s happiness as he/she might see it; I DON’T mean a woman’s personal happiness in any opposition to her husband’s – why should he consider other person’s interests a threat to his own ones? Love is giving; power is taking. When power is seen in women’s hands, it’s labelled “control”, “egoism” and “violence”. Why is it different in men’s hands?
Love is live, give and – above all – LET LIVE. Making other one your controlled thing is mortification. Freudian things…
“We are taught that independance is as essential to life as air or water.”
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Peace to Men and Women! Let’s be PEOPLE above all…
Comrade Natalia
November 24, 2006 at 11:00 pm
Do Not tell me about the truth, you can not handle the truth as men see it, Natalia.
Power is not taking, that is a nonsense generalization/red herring; Further more power is different in men’s hands because of this simple fact that you have blatantly ignored: Men are not Women, wow what a revelation!
Women are known to abuse power whenever it benefits solely their own interests, where men use power to everyones advantage, men use power fairly to keep the world in order.
November 25, 2006 at 2:05 am
Very well stated, Natalia.
I was actually looking forward to a “foreign” point of view.
As for “C,” it seems to me that you are speaking generalizations as well. Are the men in power in Africa, committing genocide to their own people not abusing their power? What about Hitler? What about men that beat their wives because they did not cook a perfect meal? Are/were they using their power for good? Is/was that keeping the world in order?
There are exceptions to every rule, women that use their power for good, men that use theirs for bad, and of course vice versa. Please do not talk to me about generalities. Women may not be perfect, but neither are men.
The only difference between men and women is a tiny Y-chromosome, in fact one gene on that Y-chromosome is what makes a man’s apparatus versus a female’s. All other 22 1/2 sets of chromosomes are exactly the same.
Does everything that different really stem from a change that small? People are people, no matter where they’re from or whether they’re male or female. Is there that much of a power differential based on something so small as a few letters of genetic code?
November 26, 2006 at 1:56 am
Marissa you do not get it.
You obviously show no faith in men or any trust for them to tell you the truth, much less do you understand what the truth of men and women are.
Here is one huge diffference between men and women, Men have a sense of justice in what they do, women do not until they can figureit out for themselves.
BTW your argument does not make any sense please do not comment on here again.
From C.
November 27, 2006 at 11:14 am
You say my arguments make no sense, but you don’t explain it other than by saying exactly what you’ve said in other posts, C. That seems a bit circular to me. You also keep going back to that BS line “because women are not men.” I still don’t see the difference other that the obvious physical one.
You did state in your last post, though, that women CAN figure out justice for themselves. Does that mean that men are simply born with a sense of “justice” and women have to learn it? That shouldn’t be too hard. Are you talking home-town justice in the south with killing whoever makes you angry or doesn’t agree with you or slighted you in any way? Which justice are you talking about here? There are several definitions…
1 a : the maintenance or administration of what is just especially by the impartial adjustment of conflicting claims or the assignment of merited rewards or punishments b : JUDGE c : the administration of law; especially : the establishment or determination of rights according to the rules of law or equity
2 a : the quality of being just, impartial, or fair b (1) : the principle or ideal of just dealing or right action (2) : conformity to this principle or ideal : RIGHTEOUSNESS c : the quality of conforming to law
3 : conformity to truth, fact, or reason : CORRECTNESS
There are men AND women that are just, righteous, and correct, and those that are not so. There are men AND women that know how to rule, to deal with power, and there are those that do not.
If you really look at it, you say that a woman cannot rule, cannot deal with power, and does not know the meaning of justice. Isn’t that just what a stay-at-home woman is doing with the family? She has control over the house, over how pleasant or unpleasant it is, over whether the children are moral, clean, and “just.” And who teaches male children to be who they are? Please don’t tell me the father, because there are many children that grow up in abusive or single-mother households, and they turn out perfectly normal. The mother has just as much power in that respect as the father, and sometimes more. She can turn children against their father if she so desires.
A woman with a good house-hold is just as powerful as any manager or ruler, if not more so. They only rule the present. A mother controls the future.
So if you’re saying that a woman can’t rule, but at the same time saying that she is the only one that can rule a family, I’m not sure I understand your logic there. Please explain your argument in your next post and don’t just write it off as “because I says so.”
BTW, if you want me off, go ahead and petition the moderator, but I will not tuck my tail and go meekly away just because you claim that I make no sense. I actually find this thread somewhat amusing.
Cheers,
Marissa
November 27, 2006 at 2:09 pm
Suppose there are some more people than C here.
The men (and women) who find it possible and useful when a woman lives through her family, husband and children, without discarding her personality, but with investing it for the common benefit.
The women (and men) who regard whosever power not as competition but as contribution (like we Russian or Ukrainian women do).
The people who choose roles not by their ambition or other one’s coercion, not by old or new social fashion, not by anybody’s prejudice, not by insecurity or co-dependency, but by the call of their own hearts and with a bit of conscious thinking.
May it become the paragon of Kinder-Ku:chen-Kirche or a team of rocket scientists, – all is well if it goes well for these particular people together. What is the sense of “ostracizing” housewives (didn’t know the things have gone as far in the US!) – to make another poor professional instead of a good housewife? And why condemn professionals – if it can reduce a talent to the broom (whereas men prove themselves that it IS possible to balance work with family)? There is a shoe for every foot or vice versa.
With all the best, Natalia
November 27, 2006 at 2:22 pm
“She can turn children against their father if she so desires” – Marissa, you’ll be Lynched now! ))
November 27, 2006 at 7:27 pm
Natalia, I didn’t mean to say that women that want to become housewives here in the states are ostracized. The point is, I guess, that it is a choice now, not a necessity, and as you say, there is no reason to force a woman into the workforce if she would rather stay at home with the kids and vice versa. Those women are honored, and sometimes even envied.
Honestly, my family is full of strong, successful women with very happy familys and great family lives because of loving, giving, wonderful men that support the growth of both the woman and the children, allowing them to be what they want, helping with the housework and raising of the children, etc. Maybe that’s where a lot of what I believe (and my incredulity in what some others believe on this forum) come from.
And, wonderlander, I know that that was a dangerous thing to say, but I meant it only as a power that a man unknowingly gives to his wife, and a power that most women choose not to abuse. I would never even dream of turning my children against my husband, because there goes 1/2 of the team. I meant it only as a discussion point and a hypothetical situation.
November 27, 2006 at 7:35 pm
Oh, and Natalia, I agree. Most people don’t see power as a competition between the sexes here in the US. There are many men that are willing to share power with women or other men at home or at work, and they see no problem with it.
I’m not sure where some of these comments are coming from here, but I have seen them before. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, I guess.
I personally believe that no type of power should belong in one person’s hands, but that true power comes from a contribution of a team of people working together, hence no competition and less abuse potential. But, I also am more european in my thinking that most american women.
Seriously thinking of moving over to Europe. 
November 27, 2006 at 9:23 pm
I disagree with your understanding Marissa and your assessment. Perhaps YOU are the exception to the rule. I’ve seen and witnessed the constant abuse women in North America put up with that choose to be housewives. They are seen as weak and stupid by the social norms. Perhaps I am seeing more than you intend, but the statistics show you are incorrect. RW Man made mention in a prior post of the media’s delight of the marriage rate in the USA. There are many reasons for this.
Canajun
November 27, 2006 at 10:08 pm
Canajun, it may be the area that I come from… One of America’s bible belts. Many many women are housewives, and those of the housewives that do decide to work do Mary Kay or Avon or some other sort of work out of the home. I guess we’re all talking in generalities, but how many people really fit into generalities?
November 28, 2006 at 12:13 am
Marissa;
As you may be able to gather from this site and the many, many others that are referenced, generalities are the words of the liberals. Speaking for myself and the area of America in which I live, this is a roller coaster that cannot stop by itself.
If your area of the country is that different then I applaud you and all the women you know that share that feeling. It isn’t common in the rest of the entire continent. Canada included. Please research further than your own little area. It’s everywhere. As I said, I see and experience it every day.
Canajun
November 28, 2006 at 7:10 pm
I have lived in 6 areas in as many states, and I see the same attitude everywhere, wherever the economy can support a woman that wants to stay at home with the family. I’ve heard the same from my Canadian friends, as well. Maybe women in the US are seeing Natalia’s point, that some women are just not cut out to be professionals, and others (like me
) not cut out to be housewives.
November 28, 2006 at 7:55 pm
It seems obvious the bubble in which you live has no portholes. Your lies are unfounded and an insult to all those you come in contact with.
The elitist and feminist attitude that your mind has created is all fiction. Good luck when reality finally meets you when your old age and fountain of unfaith comes to it’s conclusion.
My sympathies to you and empathy for lack of vision.
Canajun
November 28, 2006 at 8:01 pm
Ok, so you’re not a housewife type. What are your plans for a family then? Do you plan on becoming the doctor that works 12-15 hours a day coming home to a “partner” that plays the housewife role? Or are you content in having no children with your husband-to-be, becoming MoNKs (Marrried with No Kids)? Or if you have children and both of you work full time jobs, what will happen to the kids? Entrust them with family members or with daycare strangers?
And since you’re thinking of living in Europe, what do you think the chances are of finding a husband that plays the house-husband role?
November 28, 2006 at 11:02 pm
Forgive my lashing out RW Man. I can only stand so much stupidity as I see it out of Marissa. She seems to have no earthly idea of what she speaks. It’s in the papers all over this country and Canada of the issues brought out in your site.
I perhaps have been duped by her feminist opinion, but felt the need that others not be swayed by her lies or closed mind. Okay, I’m done. Thanks.
Canajun
November 30, 2006 at 4:47 am
Marissa,
The term “Housewife” in the US is primarily used as a derogatory term and it is meant to SPIN the identity of Women away from being a mother and wife.
When I read that you are not cut out to be a housewife.. what I immediately think is that you are not cut out to be a good mother or wife.
That is totally your call since you want to focus on your profession.. No problem with that.. just make sure you have some honesty about your intent and don’t give me the “I can have it all” mentality.
December 1, 2006 at 12:14 am
But some women, very happy women, do have it all. There is no reason that (once the loans are paid off) I cannot work part-time or evenings, switching with my husband until the children are in school, at which time I can go back to working a regular job to fund their education. Many physicians, because the salary is so nice, choose to work only part-time so that they can have the families that they’ve always dreamed of.
Granted, there are always emergencies, and it does require a supportive relationship, but just because a woman wants more for myself than staying at home 24/7 does not implicitly mean that she’s not “cut out” to be a good mother. I’ve seen it done, and it can work.
As for the “housewife” comment, I will agree that it is not always uttered with the utmost respect. What I will not agree with (either with you or with C) is that it is meant to “SPIN” women away from staying at home with their families, and that housewives are purely seen as unworthy of any respect.
What I meant by the honor and envy comment a few posts ago is that there are many professional women that look back on their lives, look at their neighbors, or other family members and ask themselves if they would have been happier staying at home. Some even give up their carreers for that.
While your Jane Doe fresh out of high school or college generally wants to stay as far away from the epithet “housewife” as possible (maybe because she wants to snag that “Mrs.” degree), a more mature woman may accept that as her true calling, and may be very happy with that decision.
December 1, 2006 at 12:24 am
And one more question… why is there no question about whether a male doctor or other man that has many demands on his life is “cut out” to be a good father?
December 1, 2006 at 6:16 am
Marissa,
If a woman decides to jump into a profession later in life when the kids are older or have moved out then I would see that as being a successful choice as well. Not when you are dealing with infants, toddlers and young children. This is the best way for her to achieve balance and the challenge of gaining all the womanly roles in her life that she can without hurting her kids, husband or herself.
I’ve spent some time writing up 2 posts about the Ill’s of Feminism on Women and you seem to still not get it.. Your language still suggests that you are trying to promote the old Socialist and Marxist ideology of “Equality” which in turn really ends up robbing you women for denying the special traits that you inherently have. i.e . Motherhood..
Attitude is everything.. and unfortunately I believe that you are so indoctrinated with Feminist Dogma that you don’t even truly realize it and indeed your entire frame of reference and identity is slanted this way.
This is the classic trap that most feminist get into and then they don’t discover the truth until it’s too late and they have worn out their youthful years on ego instead of capitalizing on this natural advantage to find a high value and life long partner to build a stable family with.
Your question about Men reminds me of one of the classic complaints of why Men earn more money in general then Women that Feminist use. Well the answer is simple.
Men make more money on average because they are willing to take more RISKS in the workplace to get ahead. No Risk No Reward. And this is the reason why Men are more suitable in general to be the primary bread winners while the wife can concentrate more on building the family and home life.
She obviously can still work and that is not an issue.. what is at issue is the mentality that you and all Feminist have towards competition with your partner. And this will never give you ALL the things you say you can have. You will fail with that attitude I promise you.. Or at the very least you will be with a feminized Man who you neither respect or makes you happy.
However I do give you credit for recognizing how the word “Housewife” is used as a derogatory term that is meant to shame women away from concentrating on their motherly and home roles. At least your mind is open to that reality.. I hope it opens some more..
GL
December 1, 2006 at 11:13 am
An interesting discussion, dear Host, I feel I should explore this topic in my own “salon” soonest… and here a couple of thoughts…
If you were the boss, whom would you prefer, – an older woman with education forgotten, work experience absent or obsolent, but family responsibilities already charged? Or a variety of young women (or men!) with to-date education gained in the years of highest learning capacity, with fresher mind, energy and flexibility, and less salary requirements?
And if you were the girl, how would you sustain yourself till you meet a man who would agree to become your provider AND whom you would love? Take account that “providers” are choosy, and it costs quite a lot to stand to contemporary Bridal Standards of beauty et al.
The happy medium for a have-it-all Russian girl is learning when it learns, working when it works, and if she still likes her trade, switching to episodic short-time or outwork assignments in the child’s early years (with her parents traditionally there for helping with grandchildren), and then quickly catching up with the profession / job where she’s already made herself a reputable background before the maternity leave. Or maybe choose some other and/or part-time occupation to keep her mind alive, future ensure against marital emergencies, and pockets full of “hobby money”.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
December 1, 2006 at 2:22 pm
http://russianwomenspeak.wordpress.com/2006/12/01/happy-husband-children-and-career-how-can-russian-wife-manage-work-and-family/
…Russian women are famous as resourceful, enduring, energetic and dependable.
In the Soviet and early transition economies, they carried their families (and the society) on their shoulders, homemaking AND breadwinning, while most their men lay mazed with Communist limits and market challenges. New opportunities didn’t add accountability to Russian men… to women, they did.
So I have millions of witnesses, beginning with my own dear Mama (soon a Professor with Ukraine’s main University, adored by students far beyond her classes; both her ex-husbands, a scholar and a businessman, _literally_ weeped in the divorce procedure or after), that women CAN pursue profession and be good wives and mothers.
The issue is not only how, but why MAY they WANT to “have it all”?
99,99% Russian women cherish the dream to have the responsibilities of a Loving Wife and Mother as their only job, to find the Perfect Husband and relax!
…
December 1, 2006 at 3:20 pm
I certainly agree with GL that attitude is everything. Most American women want it all and want it NOW. Russian women want a safe and happy family FIRST. Only when the family unit is stable and the children are secure and have a sense of purpose and identity do these women pursue loftier careers or advancement in their jobs. Of course there will be exceptions, a small number of American women have successful careers but at what expense? A dysfunctional family unit where the kids have the IQ of a slug or a PAM for a husband? I wonder how many of these types are truly happy and how many of their husbands and children are truly happy? I would say a very small few. You think Oprah is truly happy? I don’t.
December 1, 2006 at 6:10 pm
Since you said that there are some women who “have it all” are very happy. That is, the modern feministic society is telling women that they are all supposed to be ‘superwoman’, and ‘have it all’ – thrilling sex life, man of your dreams, gorgeous children, slim enviable physique and above all a glittering career, or at least, let’s say a good job of which you can be proud. They are being perceived as “happy” and “success” on its surface by the whole society. When you take a very hard and deep look at those women, are they really happy way deep inside in their own soul? Are they being true to themselves? What happen to their own soul or “true self”?
Or… are they really trying to achieve this idealistic idea of “have it all” in order impress other people? It is because they have absolutly no sense of identity and true self. As a result, they become so insecure and fearful about themselves. Because of this, they try to impress other people by following the popular culture, society and believe all of the feminist BS. How many women end up living in misery and feeling very deep hurt at their own soul? Because of this pain, how many women chose to take drugs, anti-depression pills, alcohol or commit violence and crimes to cover up their pain and fear very deep in their own soul?
I really don’t like to show all of my hatred and anger against feminists for their own delusions and lies. That would hurt myself and my own soul. In fact, I’m showing my deep compassion toward their very deep pain and misery at their own soul. There is nothing I can do with them and their own pain and misery. All I can do is to leave them alone and allow them to figure out for themselves. No laws, regulations, government, non-profit organizations, businesses, families or friends can really force them to change. It has to start with individuals.
If we want to have a loving, peaceful and harmonious society, the very first step to achieve that is for individuals to start to live in peace with themselves and being so true with their own self. Then, they show compassion for others. It’s really up to people and society to have that. I doubt that I will see that in my life.
Regarding children and family, on the first 5 to 7 years of children’s life is extremely important in terms of their phsyical, emotional and psychological development. They need constant love, attention and affection from their parents. They need to live in a loving environment very constantly. Any parents need to be attentive and protective of them. THey need to be protected from the harm and virus of the world outside of home. It’s in stake of their emotional maturity and development. Until they reach about 5 to 7 years old, they may feel like they don’t need any loving from mothers, and start to discover for themselves and do in their own true nature. They should become who they are.
Since women want to go into the business world which is full of dog-eat-dog and crazy competitive environment, is this kind of environment good for any women to live in? If they want to succeed in this kind of environment, they would have to give up their true nuturing and affectionate nature and become ruthless, competitive and masculine. Is this what women really want instinctively? If they are still being in this kind of environment for a while, they would bring the same competitive mindset and attitude to the family and children. It’s due to social conditioning of the work environment. It’s like you are infected with virus and bring it to children. Do children want to have mothers like that? Would they rather to have a loving and affectionate mother instead of ruthless and competitive mother?
If not, women should NOT be in this kind of business environment in the first place. THey should be in a loving and compassionate environment where it would bring very well to families.
For any working mothers leaving their children for working and more glamorous life, What message does this send to children?
This tells children that they are not important at all, and career are much more important than them. I can tell you that children are really smart, and they can see through your action. They know what you are doing.
I really don’t care what comes out of your mouth. Action speaks louder!
December 1, 2006 at 7:51 pm
Marissa, why don’t you read the following article by Lucille Louis, entitled “Life as a Mother-Scientist”. Do you really want to be like this woman?
http://chronicle.com/jobs/news/2006/12/2006120101c/careers.html
December 2, 2006 at 5:27 am
I am going to give a rebuttal to that article. That is an excellent article to show an example showing about career mother, Hero. That gives me more reasons for avoiding career girls at all costs.
Personally, that article is really sickening. I got to the point where I want to puke all over it. That sends wrong example for kids! That sends wrong messages to children!
Look at one line that she wrote… “Time to myself made me a better mother.” What does this show you?? She is all about herself… showing a mentality of “me, me, me”… She shows no compassion for her family at all. She just cares about her own career much more than her kids.
No matter how she thinks she is doing well… She is really hurting her kids! She is throwing away opportunities to develop emotional bond with her children. Putting him in day-care is like throwing him away for nothing. That shows me that she is neglecting her kids. That would have a big and serious consequences way later in children’s life. Kids really need mother to be there for them almost all times. My condolences for those kids who have to endure the emotion of feeling being neglected and lack of attention and love from their parents. I feel like I want to tell that mother to please pay attention to her kids. However, I won’t do that at all because women don’t listen to men at all due to their selfish and misandry attitude. Plus, I would be fearful of crazy lawsuits being imposed on me.
Here’s another question for you to think about… which is much more satisfying and fulfilled giving all of your myself and your love to kids or devote your time to careers where no one really care about you at all? Which would you rather to live in a home where everyone love you and care about you or working at a corporation or university where people are so cold, uncaring and ruthless?
Lucille is just demanding typical entitlements for feminists like herself. One example about colleges or work place giving day care, Colleges are in business to provide classes and education. That’s their main focus. They are NOT responsible for taking care of kids. All of those entitlements program really costs a lot of money and waste of money for colleges and businesses.
If she wants to have a top-notch and very high quality daycare for free, she should stay at home and create a loving and affectionate environment for her family including her husband. That includes cooking, cleaning the house, doing laundry and more domestic stuff. That is so simple that works so well for centuries.
In conclusion, you really can’t “have it all.” You must choose one, either family or career. If you choose career as top priority early in your life, you are paying the price of giving up your most fertile year, and you will have less and less chance to have kids later in life.
It makes most sense to have a family and take care of kids in early 20’s. When kids become adults and go on their own, that’s the time to pursue education and career. That’s when you are around late 30’s to early 40’s.
The article shows me all of reasons why I rightfully refuse to marry professional women. I just rebuke them and avoid them like plaque.
December 4, 2006 at 9:16 am
Hi Quiet Rebel,
I 100% speak about women who pursue “a good job of which you could be proud” for the call of their Souls, Abilities and Sense of Identity (with “being true to your own self, letting other people live and serving compassion as the only way to happiness” as pillars of my own philosophy that urge my blogging from the office, work permitting.:))
Why people choose to be writers or programmers, tailors or cooks, stock traders or road engineers, chemists or historians, teachers or oceanologists, – given several equally-paid options at any stage of income?
Why some succeed in their fields and others not, with abilities equal and the only difference in the depth of interest in the subject?
LOL why not have thrilling sex life with a man of your dreams as a husband? A Russian woman’s dream relationship is nothing less than a great husband she’s in love and has thrilling sex with, what either element is worth of if disintegrated?!
Former Soviet Union is a very peculiar space behind the mirror…
As for gorgeous children and physiques, I see overwhelming examples of direct correlation between mother’s fulfillment in the outer world and the intelligence and social adaptation of their children (hey, my own school class demonstrated the balanced wellness of conscious, self-sufficient and love-valuing children of lovingly-strict busy and feminine mothers, and all-round failures of jaded, over-pleased-and-warded Miss Mollies, products of amorphous sit-home baboushkas and baboushka-type mothers), as well as between income and life conditions of children, and between the nature of the mother’s work and health, shape, complexion and polish of all.
I can’t agree that working or [small] business is all dog-eat-dog. The modern world is offering a universe of place, demand and means for Service, Nurturing, Creation and Care as business models, as well as Friendly Teams and Appreciative Clients.
Illustrations to the above are not far to seek… here are just most recent encounters…
I know a Latvian woman who ruined her life being a government lawyer, and flourished in all senses with e-commerce selling her own Color/Music Therapy software and encouraging Russian-speaking women all over the world with Positive Thinking and Following Your Soul.
I know a Russian girl who graduated as an engineer, got married in Spain and now attracts crowds of visitors to her husband’s restaurant as a singer of her own songs, has occasional concerts beyond, and disks sold. She is no celebrity but she’s fulfilled beside her family, and everybody’s happy, kids inclusive.
I also know two tailors of exceptional skill, one working home and feeding all her family into obesity (her husband died a year ago of pancreatitis), and another one having lost half her weight and diseases after going out for meeting clients she can talk with (very talkative and a great story-teller she is).
There are same Oprah, Cosmopolitan, US TV serials and dozens of their local replicas here. And we have our own housewives desperate in a Russian way, drinking beer and vodka, munching Validol for heart attacks, and just quietly going nutz… or not quietly, with infant and male casualties. Working women ending hurt and miserable? Conversely here, a career is an only certain safeguard against it.
God forsake me from assuming that all women should work beyond the house. I am just showing the reverse of the medal! And the very tip of the iceberg…
Actually, the next year’s issue of Russian Brides would be the Children of Working Mothers in 4th generation…
It is a topic so immense it would take me a couple of days to tell all reasons, ways, consequences and representative real-story examples from Russian / Ukrainian life, in the just-planned post I linked above.
And some arguments like “cleaning and laundry does more to children” than meaningful communication and competent example, or that there is no “me” for women, are addressed in “Normal Husbands from Hell, or Why Realistic Russian Women Ignore and Divorce Western Men” (professional or not!). No seriously, with such an attitude a man would find big and mutual disappointment here. Try Thai…
With all responsibility and well-wishing,
Comrade Natalia
December 6, 2006 at 8:06 pm
Sorry for not responding for a few days… Caribbean-wide shut down of internet, then some freak power-outages here and there don’t permit even bad communication to occur.
You guys have written many responses to my last post, but most seem to consist of one patting another on the back for a rebuttal well thought-out. I’ll respond to the trend I see worth responding to with a question…
Why are you guys ganging-up on me, yet completely ignoring Natalia for agreeing with me?
Sorry, Natalia, don’t mean to deflect any of the “bad vibes” coming my way to you, just curious.
December 6, 2006 at 8:28 pm
Take it like a man, Marissa. After all, you do consider yourself the equal of any man, right?
December 8, 2006 at 2:50 am
I realize that American and Russian don’t think on the same frequency. I’m keeping an open mind and striving to tune to the Russian frequency, but I take everything with a grain of salt and come to conclusions based on facts, time-proven principles and common sense.
Marissa, I am NOT playing this dumb “bullying” game of giving other men high five for putting you down. That’s not my intention at all. I was trying to point out something that you need to think about based on what you were telling us. Other men on this blog like RW_man are doing the same thing. It’s all based on reality, not illusionary fantasy propagated by feminists as you are being told. By the way, this comment will be my last one for this trend. Then, I will shut up and leave you to see for yourself if we are right or not.
Ladies have a right to make the choice to pursue a career. They have the right to do what it takes to achieve success. I never, ever said they didn’t. I simply said that those of ladies who make these choices will have to realize that there’s such no free lunch, and there is price that she has to pay for her own decision. Just as you have the right to make whatever choices you wish, we men have the right to like or dislike the choices you’ve made; we have the right to decide whether or not you’ll be a good partner for us; finally, we reserve the right to make our mate selections accordingly, and we will exercise that right.
We, as men, respect the right of women to make their choices; we, as men, also expect that respect to be returned. As I said before, we have every right to decide whether or not we like the choices you make (concerning the conduct of your lives), and to govern our mate selection accordingly.
In that article that Hero showed, I was just making a point that she, following the idea of “equality” and “have it all,” is mishandling her priorities that have a serious consequence for her family and her life. Her attitude shows me that she has no respect for her family and kids. She just puts her career way above her family. To men’s eyes, her attitude and actions show that she should not be married in the first place. She should not have a family at all if she putting her career as top priority. Her attitude shows me that her kids are driving her crazy. She’s acting like that she wishes that she didn’t have kids so she can work more on her science projects. Her actions and attitude shows men that she is not happy being a good wife and mother at all. Real men would not marry a girl like her.
I have problems with this illusionary idea: “have it all.” Women think they can get everything in life without sacrificing anything. When one thinks about such a proposition, it defies common sense. Let’s look at one concept of basic economic laws: opportunity cost. There is an opportunity cost that must be paid for all choices you make. One cannot, nor will not, have it all; choices & sacrifices must be made. In other words, to have the opportunity to do one thing, other things must be sacrificed. We decide what courses of action, investments, etc. will benefit us most, and we govern our decisions accordingly. That is the essence of opportunity cost.
For example, if one wants to take money to purchase a home entertainment system, then one cannot purchase other things, such as buying an airplane ticket to travel to Russia, with that money. Another example, when I decided to build my own computer during yesterday afternoon, I couldn’t go out to meet with my friends during that same period of time. Conclusively, if ladies want to really achieve career success, than your personal life will suffer; that goes for both men & women. It’s simple.
Another thing, many career women seem to forget another lesson of basic economics: comparative advantage. Comparative advantage says that you’re MOST valuable to someone else when you have something they need. For example, the OPEC nations are valuable to the USA because they have something the USA need-petroleum. They can charge a pretty penny for it, because the world’s economies revolve around this oil. Since they have something others want, they are valuable to us.
What comparative advantage does a lady have? Let’s look at that picture of successful and self-respecting men. Gentlemen who have money and true & genuine success do NOT need a woman to bring these things to the table because they already have them. However, a young beautiful woman has what those successful men are seeking: fertility. Hence, she’s more appealing as a prospective mate. The answer to the question is fertility. That’s comparative advantage for ladies. It’s the only thing that men are seeking, nothing else.
How does that idea affect career women? By the time a career woman is ready to marry, she will be in her 30s. Her looks will have started to fade. Her fertility will have been declining for years. A woman’s fertility, her ability to have healthy children, begins its rapid, inexorable decline at 27 years of age, not 35 or 40. Medical studies have proven repeatedly that, the farther in time a woman gets past 27, the greater her chances of bearing children with birth defects-assuming she can become pregnant at all! That is the truth; whether you like it or not. If a man has his act together, he will also appeal to women in their 20s as well. As a man, if I have to pick between a thirtysomething woman vs. a twentysomething woman, I know who I’m picking. Hint: it will NOT be the the thirtysomething woman…
As men, if we wish to have children, then we will seek out the youngest, most beautiful woman we can find, and who will have us. Biologically speaking, youth & beauty translate to fertility, or the ability to have healthy babies. Figuratively speaking, if I’m going to plant my seed, then I want to find the richest, most fertile soil I can find, so that my seed has the greatest chance of growing. For a man wanting children, the richest and most fertile soil is a young, beautiful woman.
Furthermore, speaking of biology, Ladies like yourself are compelled by biology to seek out a male who’s stronger than them physically, economically, and spiritually. This is why you’ll seek out men who are superior to you. Since you are striving to become a doctor, would you date a man who’s an auto mechanic, logger, carpenter, electrician or plumber? If not, Why not? Because, you are a woman, and woman’s biological imperative is to seek out a man superior to her in every way. Biology and Mother Nature always trump political ideologies, social engineering or fantastical theories or ideas.
If successful women like yourself date a man who is less accomplished than yourselves, you will NOT respect him; it’s just that simple. If this were not true, why do you not date men who have not achieved your level of success? Why is it we never find a female doctor dating a male nurse? We see the male doctors with female nurses all the time, yet it’s seldom, if ever, the other way around. Is it because women, almost without exception, marry up? It’s the old biology thing at work again. No matter how much propaganda is fed to you, no matter how much you’re told things to the contrary, you cannot stop being who & what you are. A woman’s desire to ‘marry up’ is hardwired into her.
There’s something else to consider, given your biological imperative to seek out a mate superior to yourself. Achieving career success is same as climbing a pyramid; the farther up you go, the fewer people there are at the top; there are both fewer men & women at the top. Well, Ladies, the farther up you go, the SMALLER your pool of suitable mates becomes. Consequently, the fact that your pool of eligible mates becomes smaller means that it’ll be more difficult to find a mate!
Finally, the mistake ladies make is assuming that, because they have success, a good job, money, etc., that they’ll be more appealing to men. This is not true at all. These are feministic women’ criteria they use when seeking out men; men do not have the same critieria they do for mate selection. It’s because women are buying the idea of feminism of women being equal to men so that women are exact same as men regardless of everything. Because of this ideology, they just act like men working in career trying to attract men with their career and success. Men are not girls! Men don’t need an “alter ego” in the same household. Men want helpmate who can complement his shortcomings and weaknesses to make him a complete person. It goes the same for women as well. Men can make women complete by complimenting her own shortcomings and weaknesses with his strongest strengths and talents.
In the meantime, Natalia, you suggested that I’m seeking for Thai girls. That implies that I’m looking for a mindless slavish girl. That is totally wrong! My writing may imply that, but it’s not what I really meant. In fact, I value true friendship and true companion who can compliment me and my shortcomings. I strongly encourage women to utilitize their strongest talents and souls to contribute something of value to family and society. I don’t advocate slavery at all. As kzarz pointed out, marriage is like a ying and yang where two people use their strongest strength and talents to complement other people’s weaknesses and shortcomings to make one powerful unit that brings something greatest to family and society.
With greatest respect,
QR
December 8, 2006 at 4:55 am
Bravo Quiet Rebel..
Nice Logic and Expression.. Something that Feminist seem to be incapable of doing..
December 8, 2006 at 9:16 am
…plus, truly correct and somewhat encouraging, as I hear you justifying women’s essential biological value as a balance to men’s material success (instead of chasticing them as “golddiggers” and “parasites”), and recognizing the couple’s mutual spiritual equivalence. Actually it wasn’t personally you whom I sent to Thailand, )) but the men who sound lacking this recognition.
But here is one puzzle. Less is more
– more chance to meet more “alpha” mates when you graze where they dwell. (And the subtler a woman, the stronger “complementer” she may need!) If I am a beautician, yes I can read books and nourish my femininity, but what’s my chance to meet an architect, journalist, manager etc.? Does he attend barber / welness salons and is it my very workplace he visits when he wants to? And the example I picked is rather a lucky occupation, in terms of meeting people. Next setbacks are: Would he ever think about “harassing” me? )) Or migthn’t he perceive me as an EveryBigFish’s Bait?
One of the reasons I chose Law Faculty was to get into the environment of Stronger Men. I met my ex just at the University, as a fellow student, like many other girls there, regardless of the fact that 2/3 of us studymates were female ))))
A friend of mine, a star barrister, meets “high” men all the way in her environment. With her unfading looks and organic / humorously preserved manner of a Baby Innocent, she has quite a choice of candidates… well, I have my own blog space to expatiate on our lives.
Respectfully,
Comrade Natalia
December 18, 2006 at 6:49 am
Sheesh! Insults are all you men are capable of. No wonder intelligent women don’t want you. Stick to the Russian women (who only want you to get American citizenship). Or get some other “docile doormats” from some other third world nation. Trust me, the US is better off without you. We don’t need you here–why don’t you go to Russia?
For your information, I am a member of MENSA and I don’t need (or want to) prove anything to any of you. I have been sewing (couture) since 1970, I am an established gourmet cook and am a retired Auditor for the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania. I’ve been married to a REAL MAN since 1986 (he’s a trucker and biker) I am also a world traveler and writer. I own my own property. I have proof of who I am–do any of you?
Of course you don’t. You are a sorry lot of underachieving men who need underachieving women to prop up their sagging egos. You all deserve each other.
What you ARE good for is a lesson to my daughter, who aspires to be a physician. The one good thing about this is that my child is safe from the likes of you all. I show her (accomplished guitarist, figure skater and honor student that she is) this website and we laugh. She’s shown this to her friends in the college placement classes at school and they all have had a good laugh, even the boys. Some of your garbage has even been posted on some social networking sites for young people. The youth of America is laughing at you.
You are pitiful, pitiful, pitiful people.
What a shame. You are to be pitied and nothing else.
By the way. I was born in 1955. I was finished with college in 1979 and I was heavily involved in the Civil Rights movement. I helped to free people and make the world better. What have you done to help others?
Oh–you men are too busy looking at the women’s bustlines and you women are too busy watching the waxy buildup on the kitchen floor? That’s too bad!
May the Good Lord have pity on all of you.
December 18, 2006 at 8:59 am
brensgrrl, the irony is that those living-breathing Russian (Former Soviet) women whom a foreigner may most likely notice are prevalently OVERachievers with qualifications, well, on a par with those you’ve mentioned: “It’s not because “this” country is too bad for us, it’s because we are too good for “this” country”. Russian women build themselves like hex, being targeted to match top-quality Men, and to have a bright and fulfilled life with or without them.
The other thing is that they indeed meet hoards of underachieving foreign men with injured egos, off the Western dating fair. They are [self-censored] NOT welcome here, too!! Regardless of ANY local bride’s own achievement.
If you (man or woman) are (aren’t) capable of making anything worthy here, you are (aren’t) capable of having it elsewhere. Both in terms of private life or social comfort. Of course better environment allows better performance; you can’t make orchids blossom without proper conditions; but you can’t make carrots blossom with orchids.
The global ignorance of this just has urged me to shuffle my schedules a bit to start blogging, with a view to launch a “decent” marriage agency for “decent” people, and make anybody see the truth and think. (Wanna something changed for the better, do it, – right?)
Sincerely,
Natalia, 1978, Kiev (Ukraine), LLM (2000), a business lawyer for international companies and organizations since 2000, had a book published at the age of 13, hobbies: guitar, poetry / composing / singing, embroidery (couture), water colors, skiing, Oriental practices, etc. etc.
December 18, 2006 at 2:51 pm
brengrrl,
Please introduce your husband to this site and please let him read some of writings and comments of the men here. I for one would like to het his unfeminized opinion on this and other sites like it. I think its time to hear from men who are married to feminized women and solicit their comments and opinions.
kzarz
Physician and medical director for 10 years in Southern U.S. Married to Natalia, a wonderful Russian woman and musical director (and accomplished pianist) at the local Russian school.
December 18, 2006 at 4:04 pm
brensgrrl.. you are so ignorant of your own obvious insecurities that it’s actually embarrassing to read.
Only you of course would want to start a precedent in terms of desperately trying to show off how “professional” and “gifted” you are when in reality that has NOTHING to do with this subject and just shows off your incredible level of insecurity in terms of your identity as a Woman. I understand your confusions since you are obviously spending so much time actually trying to be a MAN.
Are you on some kind of Testosterone therapy by the way?
Most of the Women over here completely blow you away with their levels of education, experience and most importantly CLASS. You can be the richest, smartest dog on the planet.. but at the end of the day.. you are still just a dog.. And you just proved it more then you will ever know.
Sorry to know that your daughter and all of her friends are reading this but maybe this will teach everyone a valuable lesson in how NOT to act if you want to be taken seriously as a woman.
Loud women like you just make guys like me yawn and pull out the ear plugs. Any woman with the smallest measure of Class (that you don’t have) would just have to whisper to get my undivided attention.
You obviously enjoy abuse.. so if you want to keep on taking it.. I’m more then happy to dish it out since this is what the fool inside of you wants so badly..
December 18, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Brensgrrl said:
“You are a sorry lot of underachieving men who need underachieving women to prop up their sagging egos”
I have a Ph.D. in Math, an M.S. in Electrical Engineering, and am currently working on an M.S. in Statistics. I’ve worked for some of the most prestigious colleges and universities in the U.S., including one Ivy-League institution. I’ve traveled all over the world and my hobbies include skiing, scuba diving, tennis, hiking, running, drawing, and biking. The LAST thing my ego needs is a fat, nagging, domineering, controlling woman.
Here’s another lesson for your daughter: Becoming a doctor isn’t going to make her a better wife and mother, nor will it make her more lovable. Even with all her accomplishments, she could end up being the loneliest person in the world because her ego is so huge that she’ll NEVER meet anyone whom she considers worthy of her.
December 18, 2006 at 4:29 pm
P.S. Forgot to mention that I just got my Fall semester grades and they’re all A’s.
December 18, 2006 at 4:46 pm
brensgrrl,
We men are here to provide facts in a logical manner concerning feminism and how much of damage they do to families, society and businesses.
I am not sure why you chose to insult us by showing off your own accomplishments and looking down at us by calling us insulting names at us. That’s an example of hubris and huge arrogance. Because of your own arrogance, you don’t really know who we really are and what we are trying to do.
What’s the big deal about your accomplishments? I really don’t care about your accomplishments so are men in here. You just do it for yourself and your happiness, and we are doing the same for ourselves. What really matters the most is your attitude, considerations, honesty and decency.
If you think that I’m quite a pitful and pathetic loser accomplishing nothing in life, I am a biomedical/electrical engineer designing hearing devices. I have travelled all over the world including Carribeans, South America and Down Under. I do lots of wilderness and mountain sports such as skiing and mountain biking. I like to build new electronics and computer stuff, and my pursuit of new wisdoms and knowledge. Does that count at a pathetic loser doing nothing with life?
Since this website is exposed to the young American people and they all laugh at us, that really tells a lot about the current American soceity. Fine, go laugh at us. Don’t you know that we have more options and the world is so big and full of many opportunities?
The trend of real and decent men dating and marrying foreign girls is continuing to increase. It’ll be interesting to see how American girls and their emasculated and testosterone-deprived men react to real and decent American men marrying more beautiful and feminine foreign girls such as Asian girls.
December 23, 2006 at 2:56 am
From Luke Skywalker To Brensgrrl:
Your conduct on this website has been totally unacceptable. You have continued to insult a great number of people for absolutely no reason. You have maliciously offended the decent well-meaning gentlemen on this website, and have mocked their intellects and abilities. You have also repeatedly insulted the hard work that Galactic Love has done in making and maintaining this website. You have also insulted the Russian women who read this blog. You have viciously belittled their amazing talents and have characterized them in a demeaning way. You have attempted to spread misinformation about the attitudes of the youth of America based on ficticious evidence. You have wantonly refused to honor very reasonable requests made by the members of this website to respond to posts in a logical, coherent, and respectful manner, rather than through ranting, arrogance, and impulsiveness. You have incited a large number of people to cruelly laugh at and mock this great website. You have applauded other attackers’ attempts to defile us, and you continue to scheme and conspire against Galactic Love and his website.
I for one will no longer stand for this debauchery. You and your fellow feminists need to cease your disrespectful actions against Galactic Love’s website, and you need to apologize to the people you have hurt.
With Utmost Sincerity,
Luke Skywalker
Majoring in Mathematics with concentrations in Statistics and Scientific Computing.
Majoring in Philosophy.
Minoring in Astrophysics.
Violinist 14 years experience.
Half-marathon and marathon runner.
And many other talents and hobbies.
December 27, 2006 at 3:48 am
I had an American girlfriend to whom I suggested that it would be fun to cook a nice meal together. This came from my experience with cooking together with a previous girlfriend, which I had loved. Oh my God! You should have heard the invective! “You men always expect women to cook for you and blah blah blah!” She couldn’t be disabused from this notion. Of course I was a complete liar when I protested that I had actually meant what I said, that we should cook TOGETHER. Then there was the time we were at some friends, who served pesto made from fresh basil from their garden. I had never had it, and I suggested that we should make it. “YOU can make it if you want, don’t expect ME to make it for you!”
I’m also reminded of an interview I heard years ago, of a woman chef from South America, who said (paraphrasing) “Cooking for a man is a very spiritual and emotional thing. It’s the one way that a woman has to penetrate a man.”
(A much more elegant and thought-provoking way to say “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”)
December 27, 2006 at 3:35 pm
brensgrrl: I guess she’s not taking me up on my offer. Typical American dried up female piece of waste. Incite a little verbal skirmish and run like a scared dog in the tail-tucked position. Never around for the real war.
December 27, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Craig, I’ll bet I can top your story. A male employee of a very politically correct American corporation was in charge of refreshments for the annual Christmas party. So he asks a female employee if she can bake cookies. She starts yelling “sexual harassment!” and “I’ll sue this and I’ll sue that”, etc. etc. So the poor guy who asked had to go to sensitivity training classes.
December 27, 2006 at 3:56 pm
Yes indeed!
Writing a new post “Why Cooking Is Like Sex”.
Over-defensiveness can be accounted to “rape phobia / post-rape syndrom”. But lack of understanding – to sheer lack of adequacy and love!
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
December 27, 2006 at 4:36 pm
Sorry for a possible confusion; I said “Yes indeed” to that quotation of the woman chef. Also edited the title towards “oral sex”, ’cause there’s an even more spectacular analogy I found for a conclusion.
December 27, 2006 at 5:57 pm
[...] “…an interview I heard years ago, of a woman chef from South America, who said (paraphrasing) “Cooking for a man is a very spiritual and emotional thing. It’s the one way that a woman has to penetrate a man.” A much more elegant and thought-provoking way to say “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.”- Craig Moberg in the pithy dialogue at RW_Man’s “Don’t American Women Cook?” [...]
December 27, 2006 at 9:17 pm
Hero, that doesn’t suprise me a bit. (Unfortunately) I’ve always thought that if sexual harassment rules were really enforced across the board, half the women I’ve worked with would have been out the door on their lovely asses.
Like the time a group of ladies were commenting on the fact that there were three pregnancies in the office. One said “Must be something in the air.” Another said “Yeah, our legs!”
Or the married girl who called all the guys in the office “honey” and “sweetie” and would give us little neck rubs when she came into our cubes. Not that I’m complaining… I hoisted her on her own petard once, though. I came into a meeting late and she said “You’re late, honey!” I said in a stage whisper, “I told you never to call me that here!” Laughs all around and you’ve never seen such a lovely shade of red. I wouldn’t have been surprised if I was the one hauled off by the harassment police for that one.
December 27, 2006 at 11:24 pm
I, Luke Skywalker, will no longer stand for the vile filth that has been spewed forth by these so-called “harassment police”. They have shamelessly broken their oaths as policemen, and have become destructive towards the virtues of peace and justice. They have signed themselves over to feminism (aka wicked-witchism) and have become the legal arm of black villany. I hereby declare that the next time these evildoing police commit any act of malice upon any of the members of this website, that I will tell every anti-feminist website that I know of about it. The media blackout protecting these vile actions will stop!
–Luke Skywalker
December 28, 2006 at 12:04 am
Would you really like to bake Brensgrrl’s cookie to a crisp Luke Skywalker? It’s a simple thing to do. The next time she or any other chunk of waste product insults you, laugh back at them in their face. They insult us to get a rise out of us, but giving them the written equivalent of a mouthful of habenero pepper salsa instead will send them running off like a scalded dog. It takes no courage and cajonnes to insult someone over the internet, doing it to his face is a differnet story. Make it clear to her you’re laughing at her for her stupidity. Or be like me, have a thick skin of titanium, like Russian attack submarines used to have.
Taras
December 28, 2006 at 5:52 am
I kinda miss brensgrrl actually.. every court no matter how noble has to have it’s jester..
December 28, 2006 at 5:53 am
Craig,
This Ex GF of yours sounds like a real “winner”..
Nothing like trying to sleep with an politically indoctrinated chick from hell.. Yuck.. I hope you dumped her faster then your morning toilet reading session when she said that to you..
December 28, 2006 at 5:54 am
Hi Craig,
Cute story.. nothing like using a little humor to complete deflate someone’s hot air..
Reminds me of the story of an overbearing mother at a holiday dinner who tried to embarass her son by asking him in front of all of the relatives if he was a still a Virgin..
The Son calmly put his drink down and said..
“Why Mom.. Are you?”
….. and the crowd goes wild..
Keep it up Craig.. would love to hear more funny stories like that.. especially stories that expose some feminist’s stupidity..
December 28, 2006 at 5:58 am
Taras is right.
I call these people bomb throwers and their agenda is always so transparent. These people are everywhere cause all they do is bitch, cry and whine.. and when all is said and done they’ve only managed to dig a deeper hole for everyone by spreading their FUD (Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt).
I honestly laugh my ass off when certain Womyn come on to this site and bitch and offer NOTHING in terms of a real solution in return. Once you expose that then you really get to the REAL issue behind all of this which comes down to simple EGO. You hurt their fragile little Ego’s and now they are going to try to make you pay for making them feel bad.. Poor babies… You starting to get this?
Stick to a working solution and promote it widely and then no one can ever screw with you for the long term. GL
December 28, 2006 at 2:58 pm
“..I hope you dumped her faster then your morning toilet reading session when she said that to you..”
RW, I really wish I could say I did, but sad to say, I was a completely feminized wuss at that point in my life. (Hence the subsequent pesto incident). You know how they say “There are good experiences .. and there are learning experiences” ? For me, she was the poster girl for that saying. When I finally realized how psychotic she was, that I didn’t need the marathon all-night arguments that started with a dispute about who was going to wash the silverware, and turned into a hellish circular session of “processing our feelings” that never ended, when I realized that I would never be able to explain to her satisfaction why that bullshit was totally unacceptable to me, and that I needed to cut myself off from her totally and permanently, without any “resolution” on her part (for my own freaking sanity) …
I became a man. Or at least started to.
(And don’t get me started about feminist stupidity – and hypocrisy. Or I might tell you about the “Take Back the Penis” rally that a friend and I held in Harvard Square a few years back…)
December 28, 2006 at 4:19 pm
No worries Craig,
Many of us have been down that road.. But now the Real Truth really sets all of us Free eh?
The more you understand your choices in life as a Man.. The more of a Man you become..
Speaking of which.. please spread THE WORD with your buddies.
Thanks! GL
December 28, 2006 at 4:33 pm
I’d like to hear the “Take Back the Penis” story.
December 28, 2006 at 4:56 pm
Boston “Take Back the Penis” Rally a Spontaneous Success:
http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Oracle/5225/street_theater_frame.htm
December 28, 2006 at 5:05 pm
Man, I wish I was there. Thanks for the link.
December 28, 2006 at 5:41 pm
There were 2 especially eye-opening things about that rally: The number of people who said “It’s about time!” and the number of women who expressed support. I actually think more women than men appreciated what we were doing. I really thought we were going to be tarred and feathered within 5 minutes. I discovered that when you summon the courage to take a stand, you find out that you’re not as alone as you thought.
January 7, 2007 at 6:23 am
“I kinda miss brensgrrl actually.. every court no matter how noble has to have it’s jester..”
HERALD: *Trumpets* *Trumpets* Now announcing the grand hall of Kings and Alien Siberian Queens has a new jester…brensgrrl. Jester, make your jests for the royalty and nobility.
BRENSGRRL: Let me get this right. The woman must always cook for the man.
Say, right after giving birth, she’d better get into that kitchen and rattle those pots and pans, and no complaints about the pain she’s in.
Or she never gets ill or sick or tired to the point where she cannot cook or clean.
I know this one will never be posted. You men are selfish, selfish, selfish selfish!
KINGS AND QUEENS: Ha ha ha ha ha ha, this jester is so funny. Ha ha ha ha ha. Let’s hear your next joke, jester.
BRENSGRRL:And–before you say a word. I cook, clean sew. I make clothing for fun. I am an outstanding gourmet cook. But I cook for people who RESPECT me as a person and who do not view me as an object. I am also a professional accountant and a very busy officer of a figure skating club.
But none of that for you. All you want is a stepford wife who will fetch your beer and rub your stinking feet.
Sheesh!
KINGS AND QUEENS: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…
January 13, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Wow this must be the most important topic on this blog eh, GL (RW_Man)?
113+ posts, jeez!
Speaks volumes about the quality of this blog though so keep up the great work.
Thank You. From C.
January 14, 2007 at 3:53 am
Thanks for the warm words C,
Please continue to read, comment and most of all tell your friends..
GL aka RW_Man
January 19, 2007 at 3:32 am
I am an American woman,I am not sure how I found this site….but I wanted to say,some American womwn still cook,I do anyway,and I know I am not alone.And I use fresh meat,and vegetables,and even make some breads,and all my own deserts.My microwave is mostly for heating water,which I need to make my cocoa.Maybe if more American men were better providers,more women COULD stay home and cater to them.
January 19, 2007 at 11:17 am
Hi glitter,
I’m happy to know that you cook..
But I wouldn’t go around blaming American Men for not providing enough for their women.
Care to try to find another group of Men anywhere in the world who earn more money or do more work for their families?
Why don’t you seriously think about this question.. and then re-evaluate your statement..
On top of that.. Russian Men and Women have much lower earnings I assure you.. but Russian Women do not have a problem like American Women do in cooking for their families in addition to the jobs that they have to carry as well.
I’d recommend that you read some of these posts carefully so you can appreciate just how lucky you are.. and if you do that.. I’d recommend that you kiss the ground your man walks on..
GL
January 19, 2007 at 2:36 pm
Ever notice that when we men point out a fault of MOST western women, some woman shows up and claims “I’m an exception, so you men are completely wrong!”. Yes, there are exceptions to statements such as “American women don’t cook” or “American women are shallow” or “Women are not more than 6 feet tall” but these statements are generally true!
And Glitter, maybe if American women didn’t go and spend her husband’s entire paycheck on useless junk, she would find out that he was a more than adequate provider.
January 19, 2007 at 6:02 pm
85% of American homes are two-paycheck homes,they BOTH work. Maybe you like your women supremely grateful because their lives are much improved by being with a more prosperous American guy. You will see as soon as some of these women get an education AND a backbone-you will be kissing their beautiful asses.OR no-you will go to another third world country where they DONT KNOW ANY BETTER!!and BUY yourself another woman, you think they love you?They love what you provide,and if it wasn’t you it would be someone else.
January 19, 2007 at 6:27 pm
File this one under “Why American & Western Women are Turning Ugly”. And exhibits thereof.
January 19, 2007 at 6:55 pm
Glitter, stop it, seriously. We are sick and tired of listening to the rants of feminists such as yourself. It only makes us want to move to Siberia/Russia all the more. You need to stop ranting and speak in a logical manner.
We are not going to be kissing anyone’s ass. And no, it is not about buying a woman, because Siberian/Russian women care most about personality and other important things rather than money, unlike feminists such as yourself who spend their entire husbands’ paychecks on meaningless crap.
It is very insulting to hear you speak about Siberian/Russian women as not truly loving their husbands. That is an insult to every Siberian and Russian woman who reads this blog.
You need to either speak in a rational and respectful manner or you need to leave.
–Luke Skywalker
January 19, 2007 at 6:56 pm
Glitter probably wonders why men are too stupid to realize what a wonderful and charming human being she is.
January 19, 2007 at 6:59 pm
Yeah, in this case ignorance truly is bliss.
January 19, 2007 at 7:06 pm
yes-in your case-ignorance truly is bliss.The rest of us know the truth and are laughing AT you!!
January 19, 2007 at 7:22 pm
gLitter: How many cats do you have?
January 19, 2007 at 8:48 pm
Glitter, who are “the rest of you”? You mean the rest of the feminists? Feminists don’t know the truth. They lie to themselves and everyone else around them because of their own ignorance, laziness, and narcissism.
–Luke Skywalker
January 19, 2007 at 9:08 pm
Glitter said:
“yes-in your case-ignorance truly is bliss.The rest of us know the truth and are laughing AT you!!”
Glitter, I think that what you meant to say about us men who seek foreign wives is that “Knowledge is power”, not “ignorance is bliss.”
Furthermore, we men who seek “mail order brides” will have the last laugh.
January 19, 2007 at 9:48 pm
These wimmin are doing us a favor, and fulfilling a very important purpose here: to constantly remind us of what it’s all about.
And their bitterness sounds more and more desperate every day…
January 19, 2007 at 9:59 pm
“Women are so constituted that all truth regarding men, love, children, society, the aim of life, disgusts them – and that they seek to revenge themselves upon anyone who opens their eyes.”
- Nietzsche
January 19, 2007 at 10:59 pm
‘Evil men have no songs.’ How is it that the Russians have songs?
-Nietzsche
January 19, 2007 at 11:18 pm
Speaking of philosophers and songs:
“Immanuel Kant was a real pissant
Who was very rarely stable.
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar
Who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume
Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel,
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine
Who was just as schloshed as Schlegel.
There’s nothing Nietzsche couldn’t teach ya
‘Bout the raising of the wrist.
Socrates, himself, was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill, of his own free will,
On half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato, they say, could stick it away–
Half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a bugger for the bottle.
Hobbes was fond of his dram,
And René Descartes was a drunken fart.
‘I drink, therefore I am.’
Yes, Socrates, himself, is particularly missed,
A lovely little thinker,
But a bugger when he’s pissed.
(by Monty Python)
January 20, 2007 at 12:00 am
OMG Nietzsche is my favorite philosopher! I’m so glad you mentioned him. When I first read him when I was 18, that was what started it all for me! That was what first made me start to reject all the crap that is happening in this increasingly Orwellian society and to start being true to my own self!
–Luke Skywalker
January 20, 2007 at 5:02 am
lmfao!! I thought that was Tom Lehrer until I got to the bottom.
Me too, Luke. Philosophy 101. All the others put me into a state of catatonia, but Nietzsche was like a lightning bolt to the brain and spirit!
January 22, 2007 at 9:08 am
… Yet he ended in total insanity, being unable of, or denying survival in the world he had construed.
Russian Influential Personalities were commonly heavy drinkers, too. Dostoyevsky was a gamble addict, and it was just one of his challenges. Gogol went insane…
The first reason why thinking and drinking may stand close is that they are some of the ways to escape from Reality That Hurts or Contradicts Your Conscience.
There is a couple of similar songs by my favorite artist, Timur Shaov. But the messages he implies are quite different from just trying to shame large-scale minds and reduce them to joe-shmoe level:
“Even the Sun has spots” (and the brighter light, the deeper shadows may be – so let’s tolerate a neighbor forgetting to put off the light in the loo.)
“It’s so comfortable to slop down for an excuse of indulging in sublime speculations. Don’t trouble me with responsibilitites, leave my ass on the sofa with enough beer.” (Very much like Notorious Russian Men [TM])
Just random Russian thoughts.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
January 22, 2007 at 9:11 am
At least those philosophers tried hard, and had power to change the world. Now Monthy Piton has influence too… whether for the better?
January 22, 2007 at 1:01 pm
Anyway, back to the article… (LOL)
On my first trip to meet Russian women in their own part of the world, I witnessed the same things as GL wrote of, and everyone was happy, with the women obviously enjoying what they were doing.
When they found out I could cook, they were amazed and wanted demonstrations. We cooked some meals together and it was hilarious! All the time I’m doing anything, they are smiling and giggling to one-another as they couldn’t believe what they were witnessing.
When there was a Russian man around, he would be dismayed that I was helping the women and not sitting drinking Vodka with him! But on each occassion they would smile and concede “he is a GOOD man!” to which all the women would agree!
It was great fun and a great experience.
The women who have commented here in a negative way have TOTALLY missed the point…
January 31, 2007 at 12:16 pm
In regard to Brensgrrl, I recall reading in another post of hers she said her father used to beat the crap of her mother. She views all men as abusers. Based on her experience she obviously has no good thoughts about men, and indeed this explains her desire to be entirely self dependent and to not realize there are (a majority) men who are not like her father.
Its probably been a long hard slog of a life you have had grrl. Realize that most people reject the pain and lonliness that you embrace. It seems that children of damaged/abusive parents really do suffer the most.
You need to have a good cry with your daughter with the intention of driving out the anger you feel towards your father. It would be kind for you to apologize to the father of your child for blaming him for what happened to you and your mother. Please don’t infect your children with your latent hate.. you will just end up doing to your child what has been done to you.
RW_Man: I love your blog. I have read completely through it, and I find it has helped me organize my thoughts about the terrible situation I (and all) men face in the states. I hail from San Mateo and currently Malibu..the situation here is indeed dire. Ahah thanks much for the awakening of my male spirit. I intend to dust off my passport and see what Russian women are like.
Oh yeah..I have only known one girl who could actually cook! She was an alcoholic, though..in retrospect I almost wish I had gone with her.
January 31, 2007 at 4:12 pm
Hi Arthur,
Welcome aboard and thank you for your warm words. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be “spouse hunting” in San Mateo or even Malibu for that matter. So I’m glad to know that you find this information useful and inspiring for you to expand your search.
I hope you will visit and contribute on a regular basis along with sharing this important news with your friends.
Good Luck,
GL
February 2, 2007 at 9:17 pm
I am considered a good cook and can do all of the Italian favorites as well as coq au vin, veal paprikash and other delicious dishes. I made a mushroom barley soup with lamb shanks last week that was out of this world. But when I have guests over or a specail guest, I am not the waitress, but the Hostess and I sit down with my guests and enjoy the meal with them. this is called equality and is part of our American culture.
Mongoose
February 2, 2007 at 10:59 pm
Nietzsche was Adolph Hitler’s favorite philosopher too
Mongoose
February 2, 2007 at 11:16 pm
IGNORANT
Mongoose Quote
“Nietzsche was Adolph Hitler’s favorite philosopher too”
Hitler was also an artist and vegetarian who loved animals. So painters, hippies, and kittens are Nazis too.
Thanks GL, I love this game!
February 2, 2007 at 11:16 pm
I know Hitler also dug Bach and Mozart too..
Give it up Mongoose..
Because I’m going to add a new profile category called..
PETTY
February 2, 2007 at 11:17 pm
“I am considered a good cook and can do all of the Italian favorites as well as coq au vin, veal paprikash and other delicious dishes. I made a mushroom barley soup with lamb shanks last week that was out of this world. But when I have guests over or a specail guest, I am not the waitress, but the Hostess and I sit down with my guests and enjoy the meal with them.”
But you’re so nasueating that they probably can’t eat a thing, so what’s the point?
February 2, 2007 at 11:19 pm
.. and don’t forget the antichrist, Wagner.
February 2, 2007 at 11:21 pm
It is kinda cool isn’t it Craig..
It’s just simple logic that we Men tend to excel at and Feminist can’t handle..
What I really like about doing this is that it shows other guys out there how to stand up to the unfortunately thousands if not millions of other Mongoose clones out there that they will surely someday face..
And Mongoose has been so kind as to volunteer and offer up her own obvious flaws to the cause..
Thanks Mongoose..
February 2, 2007 at 11:34 pm
Exactly. I don’t give a rat’s a$$ what the weasel, ..er, mongoose has to say and it’s not worth responding to in itself. I have no illusions about breaking through the dogma, bitternes, and hate.
The real value is in being the guy with the pointer and an anatomy chart of the bizarre convolutions of the liberal/feminist brain, showing other guys, who have been beaten down by the flood of rhetoric for 50 years, how to spot the hypocrisy, self-contradiction, circularity, ignorance, and programmed tapes. Because if there’s anything a woman like this is good at, it’s weaving a pseudo-reasonable and very articulate web of lies, which it takes some effort for the “neanderthal” brain to discern. But once you start pulling at the numerous loose ends sticking out, the whole thing falls down writhing on the floor.
Can’t think of any more metaphors to mix, gotta go.
February 2, 2007 at 11:43 pm
And as a point of historical fact, for those who don’t have too many degrees to learn anything anymore:
Nietzsche hated Nazism, and warned against the proto-Nazi German nationalism he saw rising even in his day. His prescience was astounding.
His estate, including all his writing, passed to his sister when he died. She and her husband were early Nazis who set about plucking his words out of context and twisting them to support their ideology (gee, why does that sound familiar…), and offering them up to Hitler. Which wasn’t hard, since he had very little good to say about almost everybody, every nationality, every religion.
February 2, 2007 at 11:46 pm
I Totally Concur Doctor Craig.
Our DNA sequencing machine is ready to accept our next batch of fungi samples to examine..
February 5, 2007 at 9:28 am
Yes there _is_ difference between striving to be a superhuman being, or seeing others as inferior ones…
(Speaking about the Nietzsche story ;b )
April 10, 2007 at 6:27 am
Don’t forget what year it is! Russian women are 100 years behind American women and one huge point is Russian women need a visa and money so cooking and slaving is what they do to obtain and keep it. It’s not really true love but true guaranteed money! American woman are able to obatin anything they want so don’t need to kiss ass. Come on, It’s the American women who need to look for the European men, because these fat ass American men want nothing but to be served and eat! American women are fed up!
April 10, 2007 at 8:57 am
USAGirl..
Why is your email name “Mike”? Are you really a girl or a guy pretending to be one?
In anycase if your arguement about Russian Women wanting a Visa had any merit why would they still cook and “slave” for their loved ones here in Russia?
Anyways.. thanks for the entertainment factor. Debating with with ingnorant people like you is always good for a hearty laugh or two.
GL
April 11, 2007 at 5:30 am
Actually GL I disagree with you.
I think that the email name “Mike” was just a mistake.
I think that USAGirl really IS an American woman, because she’s acting just like one.
USAGirl,
I find your comments about American women needing to look for European men quite amusing.
Why do you think there are so many websites like GL’s here dedicated to helping American men find foreign women, but practically none dedicated to helping American women find foreign men?
One of the reasons is that most American women like yourself are looking to have everything handed to them on a silver platter, and aren’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary to have a successful marriage and a successful family.
The men on this site are willing to make those sacrifices. Without that, what we are doing would never even get off the ground.
American women like you complain about American men all the time, but in reality it is just hot air.
FYI, when American women noticed that more and more American men were going overseas to find foreign wives, the resultant move on American women’s part was not to shape up and become better, or even to (like you mentioned) go out and find European husbands. The resultant move was to smear the foreign women with name-calling, and to look to radical feminist organizations to push radical laws such as IMBRA through Congress, which aim to stop American men from finding foreign wives.
–Luke Skywalker
April 11, 2007 at 4:37 pm
The major logical blunder is that visa is no value of its own. If asses are to be kissed in either part of the world, what’s the difference and why the hex have all those international troubles? Oppositely, foreign men are regarded as husbands who are less prone to demand “slavery”; who are raised in awareness, acception, skill and willingness of shared mutual care.
Sincerely, N.
May 8, 2007 at 8:46 am
This was a great post to read! I just found this site and will be coming back for more!!
I was born and raised in the US, but my mom and dad are immigrants from Turkey, and I have to say there is a difference. I am going to generalize here, but first let me say that I know 2 American women who are pretty good cooks and love their home, they are kinda like Martha Stewart, but the majority of the American women I know are like Rachel Ray! Everything outta a jar or frozen or something along the lines of convenience foods and meals in 15 minutes or less.
I was raised differently, even though my mom and dad both equally worked hard and both full time, my mom was in charge of all housework and cooking. I still don’t know how she did it, but she did, every night we had full course dinner, with soup, salad, main course and side dishes and she even made cookies and cakes to have later with milk or tea! She is amazing, even till this day! And our house was spotless. I remember when I would have American friends over for dinner they were always in shock and loved Turkish food, especially stuffed grape leaves!
Now, I have my own family and am pregnant with my baby, and I must say that I feel I HAVE to carry on this way, not because I HAVE TO, but because I want to. It is about love, and caring and respect. When I cook for my family and friends it shows them how much I love and respect them, that I want the best for them. Something delicious, satisfying and good for them.
I think this is cultural, because food is also to be enjoyed. In every country I have been to with the exception of the US, food is about company and enjoyment. Its social, its about getting together and having fun, its about taking it easy. Its not about shoving the food in your mouth as fast as you can and leaving the restaurant in 30 minutes its about the company. And same when you have people over your house, you can sit at the table for hours, starting with hot and cold appetizers and some raki, and then finally getting to the main course after hours of great conversation.
In America, many times you see people eatting dinner alone in restaurants (ok, lunch alone is ok, since its work and stuff) but its interesting that in other countries dinner is about friends and family.
And another thing about Turkish women, and other women who come from old cultures, each is trying to show their domestic skills, its something to be proud of. Its feminine, its being a woman, a good wife and mother.
I think American culture is different. Not worse, but I think that many people think that if only I can make tons of money, my kids can do a million extra curricular activities ALL DAY LONG, and after driving them around all day to do all the things that will make them successful adults we can go home and I can feed them whatever out of the can and heated in the microwave, its ok because I am doing all the other things for them. Food is just not considered a big deal, except for the holidays!
May 10, 2007 at 8:27 am
I vote for kids’ self-development with all my limbs (grateful as I am to be raised this way), but if the mother wishes them success = health, and earns “tons” of money, why not hire a good cook or order from a decent restaurant!
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
May 11, 2007 at 9:25 am
Yes, the food is delicious.
But isn’t the point primarily that Russian girls use food as a form of demonstrating their love and devotion to their man and their family?
Which is so horribly contrasted with the attitude of Feminazi girls…
“Who the eff are you that you can even begin to think that I should cook for you? Who are you? You’re my barking dog. Don’t you understand that barking dogs, if they’re lucky, should be fed the scraps of my food, or rummage through the garbage and chew on a bone? What’s the matter with your head? Don’t you see how hard I work at my job which I love more than you? What? You expect that you are more important to me than my career? God, you are so arrogant! You make me sick, you prick. God, how did I ever allow an inconsiderate macho pig like you into my life? What? You think I need a man? Not only are you arrogant. You are delusional too! You make me sick. I’m going out. I’m going to have supper with some of my girlfriends. Don’t wait up for me. What? Sex tonight? Serve yourself dickhead! Want some damn supper? Make it yourself! What? You’re suddenly crippled? What’s the matter with you? A@@hole… door slams on your putz face as you watch her jump her “Hagen Daas, Sara Lee” butt into her SUV which she bought with her promotion wisely choosing metal over the slavery of making babies and the bs of loving a pond scum male chauvanist pig like you…. Apparently not simply her barking dog. Don’t forget [male chauvanist] pig, which was the mind control phrase used to initiate the war against real men, and to emancipate Feminazi’s from the drudgery of having to make babies and cook for their family. God you make me so sick, you men.
Bon appetit, brothers.
May 11, 2007 at 10:26 am
Wow, I never met people who adopt pets to hate them! ))
May 11, 2007 at 1:08 pm
Natalia…
Were that it wasn’t true.
But, of course they hate us. We are the enemy of all Feminazi’s.
“Who the eff are you that you can even begin to think that I should cook for you?
May 12, 2007 at 7:30 am
Donno about dogs, but the feminazi’s cats eat very well.
May 12, 2007 at 7:32 am
I know of plenty upper middle class women who don’t work OR cook. Not sure exactly what they DO do, with all their time…
May 12, 2007 at 9:36 am
“I know of plenty upper middle class women who don’t work OR cook. Not sure exactly what they DO do, with all their time”. SoCon
In my own experience, they either go off on a lifelong journey “to discover themselves” [God knows why a 60's something woman still doesn't know who she is.]; or, they share their narcissistic network of fun and games. Boytoys and that sort of thing, while their impotent husbands go about getting more cash for their frustrated trophy wives.
At least these were my observations in Toronto.
And yes, they didn’t cook. Restaurants or maids, or both.
May 12, 2007 at 10:03 am
#Canuck
Hello again,
or, they share their narcissistic network of fun and games. Boytoys and that sort of thing, while their impotent husbands go about getting more cash for their frustrated trophy wives
Yes, I’m sure the one’s here do the same thing, I just tend to avoid them, so I wouldn’t know for sure
June 3, 2007 at 12:56 pm
Hi brensgrrl! (I`m Norwegian (and apparently a “loser”, so forgive any misspellings).
You sure are a aggressive. Not very feminine.
We`re all losers, huh?
Well, I`m a jurist, an elite level athlete and a conservative. I grew up in a conservative home with a mom who was a home-maker (and worked part-time while I was a kid and full-time as I grew older) and my friends with “modern moms” used to envy me.
They never enjoyed the home made meals I did, nor did they have the same standard of tidiness around the house.
Neither did my mom and dad have ANY fights at all. Maybe because they weren`t constantly overworked due to the unrealistic workload that`s being put on a married couple when both work full-time.
All I wish is to have kids who can experience the same conservative happiness.
I`m also strongly against all ideas of multi-ethnic states, so I guess we are opposites when it comes to your civil-rights work as well. I`d rather live in an all white,conservative community than your bolshevik “utopia”.
P.S: Did you know that research shows that the reported level of happiness has never been higher in ANY population than in the western population during the 50s?
Also, in western societies (and ONLY in western societies) today, women are twice as likely to suffer from depression than men.
Maybe its because women are more happy in conservative societies than in “progressive” nations based on disgusting Marxist/egalitarian ideology?
STOMP OUT COMMUNISM!
June 3, 2007 at 9:38 pm
I was at a cafe run by a couple from Cuba. Very delicious food. One day, I complimented this to the owner, let’s say Jorge; and you know what Jorge told me, that I consider to be altruistic: that is “Love comes from the kitchen.” Another is “The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” This is very much anathema to feminist dogma. Feminists refuse to stoop low enough to cook for their family, husbands => in effect, they do not give love, and neither do they receive love in return. Simple cause and effect. Hence the depression, and the anti-depressant popping and binge eating to cure the pain. Let’s see, feminists claim to work for woman’s cause?? Hmmm, one wonders!!!
At another occasion, I was at a social dance hall and happen to speak with a Russian who was married to an American. I asked her since she’s been here for some time, to tell me what she observes to be differences in Am. vs. Ru. culture. Her response, simply, was that with the Am. culture, the women, when it comes to meals, tend to prepare frozen, TV dinner, is reluctant when it comes to doing household chores. Russians on the other hand, she told me, likes to take care of the home, to keep it neat and tidy, “cozy” is the word they like to use, and to take care of the husband, i.e. cooking for him, nurse him when he is ill, etc. This isn’t just from her, but I’ve also heard this from many other Slavic women whom I’ve talked with. They know how to give love, and for this, as I see it, men from far reaches of the western feminized countries flock there in search of true love.
Feminists response, IMBRA. It’s funny, and sad really, that they resort to legislating to stop the flow of men going off-shore to find a decent wife.
Feminists, no decent, free thinking man given the options of foreign wives would want to marry you. Realize how deplorable you’ve become. All men I know are disgusted with such feminist attitudes.
There’s only one hope, one way out for you. A book titled : “The Complete Idiot’s Guide to Pleasing Your Man” by Eve Salinger (Author)
-M
September 8, 2007 at 4:12 am
Hello,
From Nietzsche to Marx to one Norwegian piece of trash wanting to live in a all white world.
First, let me tell that moron something. Much of early mathematics which is by far the greatest base upon which our civilization stands was discovered in India and other parts of Asia “first”. And giving people liberties isn’t Marxism you moron. Go read Marx before you say or write another thing.
The reason I hate these kinds of sorry excuses for Homo Sapiens sapiens is that these things actually share some of my views, namely, the AW problem. It’s because people that aren’t liberal are conservatives and not many but few conservatives tend to have views like that Norwegian %$^#. And it’s the liberal that support the feminine itch of the American Women bull crap attitude.
Anyway, nice to know that AM looking oversees actually made the AW crazy enough to try to pass a law…ha ha ha ha ha. I didn’t know that and that does tell you something right? The thirty up of the female population already know what had happened. I am worried about the little girls who are going to end up just like these retarded AWs.
But we’ll see.
Now, oh my God, if you would just go to the bars and see, 25-35 year olds with sparkly stuff on their clevage, face, extreme make up, revealing clothes and realize that a significant portion of the female population of that age range have turned into bar sluts while in the past it was the prostitutes that roamed these places.
And they are so easy to screw that I became paranoid one month about stds and stopped screwing any such thing as a AW.
What I am trying to say is that, yes, you (AW)are out of the house, that’s right, now where did you end up? Back in the race to get into a house, a family. The desperation is so apparent that any feminist knows it and will be dellusional to try to defend it as it’s going on as I am typing. Yes, there are men there, but men have always been in bars. In the earlier days, they went and had drinks and chat with beer buddies, they still go to the bars for that and now as a bonus an occasional $uck. The women go there to get fuc&ed and probably find a lifelong mate.
Well they know they won’t find any, but the hope lingers in there.–>Can’t cite any sources since speaking from hands on experience.
I mean seriously, what percentage of wonen are CEOs and doctors? Majority of the secretaries, cashiers, nurses and elementary school teachers are still women, even 40 years after the sexual revolution.
What percentage of physicists, philosophers, mathematicians, engineers are women?
Now I will end this long post by saying, it’s a nice thing to appreciate motherly love from a woman from older culturs as I come from one. But why try to even answer feminazis that posts here? Just ignore them, well, I did respond to the idiot Norwegian as simply because I think he isn’t as dehumanized as the feminazis. Anyway, great post and you are absolutely right — Asian, Russian, Eastern European, Arabic women all do the same thing and they are happier. Not that I support borkas, but I’ve asked Arabic girls wearing borkas here about how they could be born here yet they wear borkas. Well their response was that, they respect their bodies, that attract attention, they seem exclusive, and if some guy comes up to them and talks to them they know that he’s not looking for sex as it’s apparent that the probability of him getting any is very low and hence they find mates may that be within their clan very quickly and literally live happily ever after. So, I have seen with Indians, mongoloids, eastern european and even some African couples.
The feminazis know what they created and what a mess they are in right now, I have seen thirty year olds fighting over men–> that says it all. Good post, keep it up.
September 9, 2007 at 6:43 am
LOL USAGirl, if only you said that to my grandmother Anna, who was Russian by the way. I think she would have taken great offense to your statement about Russian women being 100 years behind American women. If you mean they are 100 yeares behind you in wearing ass crack revealing low-rider jeans, more tats than a platoon of Russian Spetznatz troopers, drinking like a fish and spreading their legs like dogs at fire hydrants, you’re absolutely right. And that is a good thing, because Russia is on the rebound whereas the U.S. is in a death dive. They aren’t all angels but most Russian women I’ve met at least are nice, well mannered and don’t make me feel uncomfortable, whereas most American women often leave me angry and wanting to get away from them. Go figure!
Taras
September 9, 2007 at 9:25 am
There are men who live their lives in almost complete frustration. The husbands who live in loveless, intimateless marriages. Young men who happily “get ‘lucky’” until they notice that the happy is transformed to bewilderment when they finally notice that their 20 minutes of cheap “love” was noted only by a number on “her” social chart. Next, in other words.
Cheap for cheap.
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS SOMETHING FOR NOTHING. It must all be paid for.
You want devotion? Well, then, struggle with all the issues which come with it. Devoted, truly devoted girls, have a perspective on personal life and lifestyle which has its own code. And that code is not always so easy… Fill in the lines.
So, you will pay for being a cheap number, or you will pay for being someone truly special.
And part of that payment for me is to have made the decision to change countries. Some have criticized me for this. But they are the ones constantly whining. And I am the one on the sweet end of the kind of devotion which is unknowable in the West.
Everything costs. But, in my new life, I will not be found commiserating over a lack of a personally fulfilled life.
The cost of devotion, nonetheless, does have its definite benefits.
Yes, GL’s posts and insights are wonderful. However, it is his wisdom in taking ownership of his personal life and in his realistic perspective which have compelled him to do what I am doing, and others who have PM’d me, are also doing.
Voting with our feet and then exchanging politics for the polar opposite of the Cult of Feminazi…
And the countdown to my dream of dreams, my beloved, whose imperfect humanity is dwarfed by her great big appreciation of me, and me exclusively, continues.
Paperwork and leaving a country can be a jungle. Cutting through it is very liberating though.
Now just land the damned plane. I have a beautiful girl waiting for me. Not me and, and, and. Just me.
September 9, 2007 at 9:44 am
A brief PS.
I’ll be travelling with pets and don’t need the hassle of “lost”, read higher rates to be found again, cab rides. She’s already reserved a professional limo service. No lost, no games, no cons.
I hadn’t even thought about food after the more than 30 hours in transit. But she did. A special Russian dish will be waiting for me in our apartment. Food to get my energy back again, before my “little slice of heaven” knocks on our door after giving me time to sleep and get myself presentable.
She asked if I would eat it when she told me her intentions. It took a few minutes for me to recover from the shock. She interpreted that as a possible sign that her meal idea was not so good. What?
It’s not for free. But instead of paying for the cost of frustration, I’ll be enjoying something a little better than a fast food dinner.
PPS: Lifestyle follows social standards. She won’t be working her standard Western super mom, impossible misery and take-out menu. She’ll be at home with me, where I work. “Honey, supper’s ready.”
Her mother, a gorgeous woman, is a brilliant cook. She taught her daughter. Not Harvey’s. Lifestyle.
September 9, 2007 at 12:40 pm
Someone mentioned that GL’s and Natalie’s blogs were only a laundry list of how to get a Russian/Ukrainian woman. He seems to think the “laundry lists” are too difficult and “costly” and he could do better and cheaper with a $100 hooker in the Phillipines. He even compared this with the “cost” of his father raising a family.
So I have extracted a couple of “laundry list” from the women themselves, only to serve as an example of what FSU women are looking for. Here they are:
“I value sense of humor, kindness, sincerety, mind, sporty body and great desire to have family.”
“I’m looking for a wise warrior to feel like a real lady near him.”
“You are a person who wants to love, to be loved, and who knows how to do it. Loving and caring in all senses of these word. Tactful, kind and cheerful with great sense of humor and generous heart.”
Certainly as Rexpat says, “Everything costs”.
To “pay” for a relationship…any relationship, whether it be personal, business, or on the playing field, the payment is for a person to have a sense of honor, a sense of integrity, a sense of peace, a sense of humbleness, a sense of respect to another and an expectation of the same. One other thing…a sense of appreciation for what she brings to you, the way she smells, the way she dresses, the family culture, the way she cooks, the wonder in her heart when she is with you.
One cannot buy this type of relationship for a $100 quickie in Las Vegas, or $1000 night in a 3rd world bar.
Certainly there is a practical side to a relationship and raising a family, that does “cost”, but God will provide.
September 10, 2007 at 1:07 am
This same someone rediculously said that he would have a high paying job in Bangkok or Phillipines and woudl have a $100 prostitute every night, plus he’s going to have a housekeeper?? For almost every day, that hooker will cost him about $36,000 per year. The housekeeper at $100 per week will cost $5,200. Aparently, he’s going to have over $42,000 per year just to have fun. I want that guy’s job.
More likely scenerio is that he’ll do that for a while trying to be a big guy on the block, and wind up living on the streets begging for coin to have sex with or for sex itself. Better to work on a few things in his life and find one woman to love him.
My 2 bits on the matter.
December 11, 2007 at 6:32 pm
thats really nice and i get that it’s a tradition you like and stuff but honestly, you can’t expect every woman to cook because maybe they want to spend more time making what thye want from their lives and persuing their dreams, because like you, they only get one life. so instead of thinking it’s rediculous that all women do not cook and talking abou it with your “buddies” maybe you should consider that while it’s a nice ting to share and a good way to show that you love someone, men can do the same things with this “art form” and can understand how some women may prefer to use their lives for persuing things they are interested in and getting further ahead in their careers than serving you.
December 11, 2007 at 8:10 pm
alana,
I love it when a woman like you tries to slip a knife into guys like me by trying to conceal it first with some type of nice comment. So typical.. “yawn”..
Anyways here’s the deal.. you don’t know me or my life.. and I love the fact that you assume that I’m sitting back waiting on my meals to be served to me when in fact I’d honestly say that over 90% of all the meals I’ve eaten in my life were cooked by yours truly.
Maybe you don’t know how to cook lady but I do.. And it’s a skill I’m proud of in-spite of the fact that it was a total necessity for a boy to learn early on in life since he came from a “feminist” household.
Here’s the other deal.. women like you who hold this victim attitude and see cooking as a means of male “repression” against you and yours sisters are just completely full of cow fertilizer..
If you want to hold on to this attitude and do the fast food route because you are too conceited or brainwashed into realizing that cooking is an important life skill then by all means please go right ahead.
In the meantime.. because I’ve cooked almost my entire life this post was meant to be a deep expression of grattitude for these magnificant women who would take a newcomer in at the time and prepare such a meal. It was an honor and I enjoyed every minute of it. And to be perfectly honest with you.. I know they did too..
That is what you’re missing out on.. One of the real currencies of life.. So please go right ahead and fire away because you are only exposing the fact that you’ve lost your ability to be or to FEEL like a real woman.
Good luck to you “Sir”.
GL
February 9, 2008 at 6:30 pm
Hi, I am an american women and I take great pride in pleasing my husband and I take great pride in being a women. I don’t really understand why the typical idea of “womens’ work” is thought of so negatively by women today?
To me it is how I show my husband that i love him and care for our home. Men never walk aroud thinking yard work or car matienence is oppresing them or degrading them so why should women feel that way about cooking. I do have to give a little advice to men to help the situation. It is a two way street, it is just that the street goes to two different places. Women want to be appreciated and feel beutiful to thier husbands, men want to feel respected and honered in thier home from their wife. Men, It might seem tediuos but always show gratitue for what she does and she will be more willing to do it. If she cooks anything even once copliment it , brag to friend about the wonderful meal and she may feel good about the experiance of cooking. ( and cook more!) It worked on me! Because my husband appreciates me I freely and happely serve him and spend a little extra time on him to show him he is honered . I know a lot of women out there will think I am a fool who is a slave to some goodfornothing man, but I find true joy and pleasure in cooking and serving my loving husband. Cooking should not be looked at as such a chore but as an importand responsability to your family. Pluse taking a few extra minutes a day or a few extra step to serve and make your husband feel respected is a wonderful loving act!
But don’t forget women have a deep need to feel that you don’t take them for granted. So it is a banlance.
p.s. I do have a job too!
April 27, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Please, I am happy to prepare meals for significant others, up until the point that they start taking my extra steps to care for them for granted, and NEVER make a move to help out, even when asked to. I’m probably busier than all of my exboyfriends have been, so when I asked them to help clean up the kitchen every once and a while, would they? They said they would, but days later it would never happen. Tell me, why should I spend my time trying to do something nice for a man, if he’s not even going to appreciate it?
April 28, 2008 at 4:25 am
Molly,
Woah, “extra steps to care for him?” Wow that’s a textbook feminist statement right there. How is contributing to your relationship a “extra step” or burden to you? I’m going to venture a guess here into your next post stating that he never does anything for the relationship and you have to do everything to make them work. Yes? No?
It’s too bad that your keeping score in your relationships. It begins with small things but eventually ends up being “He never does anything for me.” There shouldn’t be a scorecard for contributions in a relationship, you either are willing to put your all in it to make it work, or you end up picking it apart.
Why do something nice for your man? Maybe cause you love him? Or is that something that has a scorecard as well?
SiSD
April 28, 2008 at 7:20 am
Molly
You’re lucky enough to live in a country with a surfeit of men and a relative scarcity of women. You can afford to be picky about how much you dote on your man. Russian girls have to offer more for less.
It might be, though, that your man is contributing in other ways that you don’t see? Perhaps he does more of the traditionally male tasks like fixing things, or taking out the trash? Perhaps he is feeling unappreciated for the things he does do, and therefore doesn’t feel like he should do any more?
If you don’t see ANYTHING from your man at all — then count yourself lucky not to be a Russian woman, because you don’t have to put up with it. They don’t have much choice!
Dawn
May 3, 2008 at 8:23 am
I had a similar experience, but in microcosm. My (now ex) girlfriend was making a latte in her little Starbucks machine. I was watching her do it and worrying that I might not remember how to work it right when I later tried to make one for myself.
And then she set the coffee cup in front of ME. She had been making it for me. This was such a surprise that I just about cried.
PS: Looking back, I realize that that’s exactly what I should have done. If I could have better expressed my gratitude for such gestures, we would have been happier. Yup.
October 5, 2008 at 12:32 am
I feel frustrated when reading the remarks by the feminist ‘amazons’ who seem to be under the delusion that Russian women (or any traditionally feminine women for that matter) are only doing these things because they HAVE to! They are soooo wrong; hello! They do it out of l-o-v-e and r-e-s-p-e-c-t.
REAL men + REAL women = LOVE and RESPECT!
October 5, 2008 at 5:07 am
Absolutely..
It’s no different when a Man decides to walk his lady to her home or the bus stop here in the FSU. Or when he automatically carries her heavy bags without thinking.
He’s acknowledging his role automatically as a protector and more.
It’s beautiful to see both sides of this in action and the West has totally lost it by ridiculing or rejecting these essential manners between Men and Women.
October 29, 2008 at 12:09 am
Honestly, the best women cooks I have ever experienced were women that were foreign. All my foreign girlfriends not only liked to cook but did it because this is how they were raised. Their mothers always cooked so they took this in as a daily routine. My mother is from Cyprus and cooks for everyone everyday. My current girlfriend(American)in the beginning cooked only for herself, which astounded me because we lived together and everytime I made something for myself I offered to make for her too. She quickly got into the groove of doing the same for me but things are still not how I would like them. I pay the rent the utilities and she buys the groceries. We both cook about the same amount of times per week.On her days off, I come home to a home cook meal maybe 2 times a month and they are meals of cardboard.
One of my favorite things I like in a woman is one that can cook and who is willing to do it often especially when I am handling 85% of the living expenses.
Well, I guess it is time for me to start cooking great meals and see if she catches on to my liking.
Maybe, now I know why I like foreign women so much!
May 7, 2009 at 9:51 pm
Hello everybody,
I would like to add my 5 cents please. first of all, I’m Russian myself. I’ve been living in Ireland for a long time already. I haven’t read all the comments, but I’d like to add some tips to this thread.
I’ve just spent nearly 6 hours going through each post from the oldest up to this now, and I would like to say that I’m very proud for the Russian Women and how different nationalities see them. The behavior described here and previous posts is normal for Russian society and Russian families. Unfortunately this behavior is expected and treated as “must be” by Russian Men. I can say for sure there is NO respect for this hard work in 90% of relationships. From my experience I can say that my mother did this for last 20 years until I finished secondary school and went to military service. Every evening @ 8PM the dinner was on the table for my father, brother and me. And during these 20 years non of us cared was she tired after work, sick or just wanted to have a rest.
It’s shame I do understand this just now, when I’m nearly 30! After I’ve lost my Russian girlfriend who NEVER allowed any crumpled shirt or trousers appear in my cupboard. Who NEVER allowed dinner table to be empty or the same as the previous couple of days, etc.
As I said I came across this blog accidentally and reading it I saw us (Russians) from different side and I would like to say THANK YOU VERY MUCH to all RW for your patience, hope and respect! I would like to apologize for all RM treating you as “must be” and exploitation.
Cooking is very important in Russia. There are no holidays or bank holidays celebrated without well set dinner. So one of the most important mother’s mission is to teach her daughter cooking. Some primary and secondary schools in Russia have cooking lessons as mandatory.
Now, gentlemen, few good tips regarding RW cooking and food serving. I’m not going to write them in CAPITALS, but these are extremely important!
Tip #1:
There is nothing more thankful and pleasant to RW than asking for extra portion when you finish 1st one! Believe it or not, if you want more it means that you really loved it. Even if you are full, just ask for a little bit more and you’ll see her shining as never before.
Tip #2:
Be sure to finish the portion! Otherwise you might never see this meal in you “menu” anymore. So if you are really don’t want to eat it’s better to say 100 times: “just a little/tiny bit for me please” – before she starts sharing the meal. Once the food is on the plate, there no way back!
Tip #3:
))
If she asks you: “What would you like for the breakfast/lunch/dinner/supper/etc.?” – never ever say: “I don’t care./It’s up to you, darling./I don’t know./Whatever you like./etc.”. Make sure you know! OK, in very bad situation you really don’t know, then I, for example, did a trick saying: “Oh honey, there is nothing in the frig I’ll go get something.” Most of the times you’ll here: “Don’t worry, I’ll figure out something!” Believe it or not, but you’ll never find those amazing food experiments in any restaurant in the world. When she gets the freedom for creativity, she will put all her heart and love into this process. I’m sure you’ll be amazed! But sometimes you have to break the Tip #2 indeed.
Thanks guys!
I’m moving to the newer post.
Best Regards,
Igor.
P.S. Forgot to mention that there are exceptions as well. As stated before: Moscow is not Russia – there is a chance to meet glamorous girl who can’t even make a sandwich for herself because she is afraid to scratch her just made up nails.
May 8, 2009 at 12:47 am
Hi Igor,
Welcome aboard and thanks for taking the time to read through the 256 posts and 8,610 comments that have been posted on this site!!
I’ve been pretty busy lately so I’m grateful to the folks like yourself who feel the inspiration that I do to add their 2 cents in on this pretty profound subject of traditional womanhood.
Sounds like you have one heck of a great mother and her story of perseverance and duty to her family is something that never ceases to put me awe.
If I were you I’d be pretty proud too!
Thanks again and please keep posting.
GL
May 8, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Igor,
Thank you for sharing that point of view. It is always reassuring for those of still looking for that one real life partner to know that what we see and hear in a place like this isn’t just an opinion of a few. Your background validates what many here are saying and what even more of us are hoping for.
It is quite interesting to me that the traits which make FSU women as special as they are, are the very same traits that most of us frustrated NA men are looking for.
I hope you will share more thoughts on your heritage.
May 12, 2009 at 4:53 am
Igor, I enjoyed reading that. I wish my wife were like that, sadly she can’t cook. I am Filipino and my wife is a Filipina. Most of the young women I know can not cook. That is unusual because traditionally, Filipinas were expected to know how to cook. It is just another sign of my country becoming more Americanized. Filipinos love Americans and want to be like America.
June 20, 2009 at 3:39 pm
Hi,
Any chance you make an effort first?
Cook yourself for a week, for 2, for a month… Get her interested into cooking for lovely husband! There is more pleasure when someone is eating your prepared food, rather than yourself, isn’t it? Probably she has never had that feeling yet?
I’m sure you can find some philosophic way out. Do I need to mention that “demonstration” works much better than “talking”???
Good Luck,
Igor.
June 22, 2009 at 2:32 pm
I also am Filipino and I know a lot of my American friends expect a Filipina to be gorgeous and know how to cook. You can find the first part of that equation..but the second part of that equation is getting tougher to find. I agree that some Filipinas are becoming more Americanized and it’s kinda disappointing. But at least the ones back in the Philippines are way better than the ones already here.
May 13, 2009 at 12:13 am
I personaly have not problem cooking. Like most single people I cook for myself. My mother cooked for us. Though at the time I never thought much of it but now I appreciate the things she did. I plan on getting a rice maker and learn to cook some Asian food.
May 13, 2009 at 12:42 am
I meant a rice cooker.
May 19, 2009 at 1:15 pm
http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/goodwife.shtml I get the feeling this is supposed to be tongue-in-cheek (and I’m sure I’ve read somewhere that the 1950s part might have been an urban legend) but it actually scares me. THIS is the attitude to cooking we’re talking about?
June 20, 2009 at 3:16 pm
Hahaha! Thanks, I had a great laugh!
))
Both seem weird to me. I would live somewhere in 70s then.
June 22, 2009 at 12:06 am
That was an interesting article… it kind of has a stepford wife tone. I doubt most men want a stepford wife with no personality. The 70’s were a strange time too. That is when things that affect us now began such as the sexual revolution.
May 19, 2009 at 8:33 pm
I wish there was a way to show Molly how things are if she had to wear men’s shoes for a while. Especially men like me who after working 10 or even 12-hour days in a shipyard had to come home and cook dinner for everyone because my now ex-wife wouldn’t and she had lots more free time than I did in which to do that. I for one would gladly do my share of the work and then some, but I can’t handle the whole load by myself. Nobody should be expected to do that. Then she might understand why some men in America are fed up with women.
Taras
June 21, 2009 at 3:10 pm
When I try to remember having anyone cook a meal for me and have it waiting when my busy day was done, the idea is lost. Along with jobs and other outside responsibilities, I have made the family meals through two marriages and throughout all of the single years as well. For the past decade with changing commitments and time restrictions, my daughter has always known that daddy would have a good breakfast for her, a lunch packed, snacks ready after school, and a hot, healthy dinner evening.
My dream isn’t so much about having someone to do all of the cooking. It is just the thought of having someone to do it once in a while.
Now that my daughter is at an age where she is learning her way around the kitchen pretty well, I find great joy in her making us omelets on Sunday mornings or her favorite dinner some evenings. Watching her develop that one skill and enjoying it the way she does makes me think that there will be a time when she appreciates the nurturing and caring parts of being a wife and mother. It may seem like a little thing to many people but to me it is a life skill that will set her apart from many of her peers.
I’m thankful that my mother taught my brother and I not to be afraid of the kitchen. We are both pretty darn good cooks.
I just think it would be so wonderful to have someone to share not only the duty of preparing meals, but also the simple pleasure of sitting down at the end of the day and talking about what’s next for the family. Making dinner used to be a point of pride for women and they knew the value of a family sitting together at meal time. Now that idea is little more than a sign of old age or a punch line to some cocktail party joke.