There are 2 characteristics that I adore about the communication style that Russian Ladies have.
-
Their Bluntness
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Their Diplomacy
Ok now before you start thinking that these two characteristics are contradictory and mutually exclusive let me do my best to explain how these ladies seem to balance both sides with ease.
Russian Women can be extremely blunt..
They will simply tell you the truth on something either good..
Or bad..
Now if you are on the receiving end of some this critical commentary..
You may be surprised if you don’t feel the slightest inclination to take it personally or to be offended..
And there is an important reason behind this.
If a Russian Woman tells you something truthful that is less then flattering.. she will HARDLY imply that you are any less of a Man.
Her feedback to you is simply treated like a neutral academic observation and the farthest thing away from a school yard taunt that any number of American Women would enjoy throwing at you for sport or for cheap ego gains.
Now if you think that’s hard to believe then keep reading..
I have NEVER witnessed a Russian Woman “nagging” her man into doing something.
Nor have I ever seen these Ladies try to jump on a Man’s self-esteem in attempt to exploit or bitch him out.
So you might be thinking well this sounds pretty incredible GL but how does a Lady like this manage to convey her needs and desires to a Man?
Well this is where her DIPLOMACY automatically kicks in.
Now the best quote I ever read about Diplomacy was the following..
Diplomacy is the art of making other people freely choose YOUR way..
… and feel good about it too.
This is certainly true when it comes to what most Russian Women are naturally capable of doing with their men.
Let’s start with a Russian Lady’s simple but effective verbal diplomacy.
Imagine that you are on a date with your special lady and you actually thought it would be a good idea to take her to see the latest Alien vs. Predator flick that you’ve been dying to see.
Now there’s a fair likely-hood that your Russian Lady will gently wrap her delicate hands around your arm..
…pull you close to her beautiful body.. give you a loving smile.. and say in the sweetest voice..
“Maybe we should go see ‘Love letters from Paris’ instead?”
(yes it’s a fictional movie but you get the point..)
Now guys.. I don’t know about you..
But how in the HELL are you ever going to be able to say “No” to that?
Now just in case you totally screwed up this test and insisted on seeing the latest cosmic battle between a zenomorph with acid blood and one very bad ass-ed deadlocked alien hunter..
I think it’s safe to say that you would probably be ridden with guilt during the entire alien action feast and long afterwards for not granting your lady her subtle wish.
Now for most of you guys who would make the right decision and say..
“Ok Honey.. Let’s go see ‘Love letters from Paris’”.
I can pretty much guarantee that you will feel quite happy and satisfied sitting in the dark holding hands with your lady and feeling her energy as she rides a roller coaster of romantic emotions.
Now the greatest feeling in all of this comes from the lasting glow your traditional Russian Lady projects because she will frequently act like you just gave her something special that far exceeded her expectations.
Or in other words..
For the price of two movie tickets, a bucket of popcorn, and maybe a coke you just gave her something that she may treat no differently then if you presented her with some pricey gift.
This is because in her eyes you really did give her something special..
You gave her your TIME and ATTENTION and this is something that she will never take for granted.
She knows that the only reason you saw this movie in the first place was for her and she will show her sincere appreciation and gratitude for it..
Are you Guys starting to get this?
Ok good.. Now let me describe what I call a Russian Woman’s “Body Language Diplomacy”.
Let’s pretend again that you are going for a leisurely walk with your Lovely Lady somewhere in her home town..
As usual you are holding hands or she is holding your arm and you have a nice warm fuzzy feeling inside with this affectionate physical contact and because of the trust that she is showing in you as a Man..
You are just taking in everything and enjoying the sights and sounds.. maybe you are engaged in some conversation and your mind is just spinning from the real romance that you are experiencing at the moment.
You are just leisurely walking along.. not really paying attention to where you are going when all of a sudden she silently gives your arm a gentle pull and you find yourself sauntering down a completely different direction..
Now in that wonderful split second of life that just occurred..
Some of you Men may have notice of it..
.. and some of you may have not.
But for whatever reason..
You realize that if feels REALLY GOOD for a Beautiful Woman on your arm to silently guide you like this.
This woman may be significantly younger then you but you may swear that you are the one who feels like a child being shepherded along by a beautiful angel down some safe and proper path….
These are just a few examples of the irresistible power that a Traditional Russian Woman can wield over you as a Man..
However, I can honestly tell you that there are MANY more spells that this Lady can cast on you.
Some of these are just as quiet, soft or subtle..
While most of these are just completely invisible..
…as they were intended to be.
But as you Gentlemen should hopefully understand by now..
This doesn’t in anyway diminish the deep influence that this lovely woman will have over you..
And the best thing about it..
Is that you will be eternally grateful for it..
January 14, 2008 at 11:45 am
Quite an inspiring post. Congrats!
January 14, 2008 at 7:04 pm
Hi Rod,
Thanks for your appreciation of it..
GL
January 14, 2008 at 8:04 pm
Very sweet, and thank you for describing this so perfectly. I have been told that Russians generally are incapable of tact, as we understand it — not that they will deliberately hurt your feelings, but if, for example, an article of clothing looks hideous on you, they will come right out and say, “That (tie, jacket, dress, blouse) does absolutely nothing for you.”
I’ve been told my Russian accent is good. My professor says that if my Russian friends tell me that, then it *is* good — they would never criticize my Russian, but they wouldn’t say it was good if it weren’t.
Me — I cherish Russian “tactlessness.” At least you know where you stand.
January 17, 2008 at 9:20 am
Absolute dream it sounds ,I will see soon i am meeting someone from russia. Cant wait for more posts such as these it helps to understand and appreciate these woman !! thank you !!
January 17, 2008 at 9:15 pm
Hi Meg,
Thanks for your comment.. Refreshing to not try to 2nd guess someone’s comment to you eh?
I’ll take that any day and try to learn from it as opposed to trying to get my ego falsly stroked.
Please keep commenting
GL
January 17, 2008 at 9:19 pm
Hi Rob,
Thanks for jumping in and welcome aboard.. I have some other topics in my head but just need the breathing room and some reflective tranquility to work on it.. stay tuned..
GL
January 18, 2008 at 10:33 pm
I have been lurking here for a long time, and have found many of the articles on Russian women and their culture very helpful. At the moment, I don’t have the means to go to Russia, but I am meeting more Russian ex-pat girls who have lived here in the States (usually for a long time).
What has been everyones experience with Russian girls who are, more or less, raised in America (or any where in the West)? Are they immediately assimilated into your culture, or does that take place over some generations time? Or, do they always keep with them some of that Russian soul?
I understand the answer will vary from one Russian girl to the next, but in general what has been everyones experience with the Westernizing of Russian ex-pat girls?
January 19, 2008 at 1:55 pm
I don’t know if this is the correct place to post this, I am new to this site. I have two questions I would like to know more about. First, I am emailing a Russian women of 30 years and we are going along nicely at this time. At my age of 53 I do not really want to have more children, and I am concerned on the best way to explain this to her. Blunt or with a little sugar coating? Usually the truth is the truth, no matter how it’s presented, it can sometimes always hurt.
My second question is that I am pretty much a one man woman. I don’t play the field and honestly don’t enjoy trying to, but in the case of Russian women, and that I might go there someday, am I wrong you one’s opinion not to play the field?
Thanks…….. Bill Az
January 20, 2008 at 6:23 pm
Hi Bill,
every potentially hurtful thing can - and should be - put delicately and with a reservation that you are afraid if that might hurt. One of the most considerate forms is a question. Like, “Do you want (more) children of your own, and can you spend a life together with a man who doesn’t”?
On the second question, getting involved with many people is very exhausting. It can disperse emotional resource to an extent when one can’t take nor make sufficient interest in/to others. Your standpoint gives you a great advantage, provided you have chosen the right person to focus on. Have blogged about it in “One in a Million…” and “Fast-Find…”
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
January 22, 2008 at 1:47 am
I’ve often had to almost EXPLAIN to girls I date how to ask me a question in this way, and sometimes they get really pissy about it, to which I simply write them off and stop talking/hanging out with them.
I’m starting to think men AND women need lessons on how to treat each other. BOTH sexes complain about how they’re treated, it’s practically a war. lol
January 22, 2008 at 6:38 am
Hi Kahala,
In my opinion I believe your lady would accept the fact that you don’t want more children and will be able to accept you for it. Or in otherwords given what I’ve seen for women in this stage of life I believe she would be willing to have you (if you are a good man to her) even if she cannot have children with you.
Good Luck,
GL
January 22, 2008 at 6:42 am
Hi Korky,
It really depends on how grounded in tradition the family is and how strong that family respect and love is too.
To a certain extent I believe that genetics do play a role even if they are dormant in a different environment.. But I also believe that they need to be “activated” under the right environmental circumstances.
On the other end of the spectrum of course you will just get Russian girls of national origin born and raised in the US who are just everyday normal American girls because of it..
Hope this helps..
GL
January 22, 2008 at 4:23 pm
Thanks GL,
That does make sense and I would be interested to hear more of what you think about how genetics plays a factor, that would be extremely interesting if it concerns the traits Russian women are praised for.
The cynic in me wanted to assume those traits of motherhood and femininity po-russki would be entirely due to the environment (nurture) and not genetics (nature). However, since you bring it up, it makes sense that genetics plays a factor, but how much?…
January 24, 2008 at 5:31 pm
What… has this site forgotten me already?
January 24, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Korky/GL..
In terms of genetics, one can reasonably posit that..
[1] Women, -on average- have greater innate, genetic nurturing/feminine qualities; and
[2] A given woman may have a greater genetic disposition towards these qualities than another..
BUT…
Stating that females from any given ethnic group have in general a greater –genetic– predisposition towards nuturing/feminity/whatever than another group is a hell of a stretch.
Base personality types (for individuals) are “ingrained” (i.e. we are born with them, regardless of ethnicity); BUT the way they manifest differs considerably as a result of upbringing and environment.
Observe any ethnic minority group in your area that are 2nd gen immigrants or more (eg. Asian Americans in the U.S.) and you’ll see what I’m getting at…
Btw, check out the Moscow thread for more of this..
January 27, 2008 at 9:08 pm
well im russian and married to a russian wife… i think it also depends of a russian girls back ground. for example, if she comes from a christian family, than she will do what she is told, even if she want to watch “love letters from paris”. yet if she comes from an educated family than she’ll use her inteligance and brains instead of doctrin ( bible ). now if she comes from an abusive family than she will do anything to be loved ( at least attention . thats why some of them go into prostitution, drugs, and alcohol. then thing i’ll agree with is their bluntness … my wife hurts my feelings at times ( too honost , i guess its better than not telling ur loved one anything…
February 25, 2008 at 2:34 pm
To Bill Az & the children conundrum.
A difficult one if she hasn’t already got any kids on the ground.
Mate, they’re all women wherever they’re from - biologically wired with the ‘urge’ & deeply desirous to do their bit to populate the planet.
Must be somethin’ ta do with being at the mercy of hormones.
Poor bastards.