Well I’ve finally decided to sit down and spell out the important things that you should know in knowing how to interact with a Russian / FSU Lady that you wish to have a relationship with.
Over the following days and weeks I will introduce some valuable information for you to absorb and hopefully take to heart.
Now from my own personal experience I know that the decision to bring a traditional Russian lady into your life is a profound experience..
And I believe that the most important thing you need to understand is this..
This is NOT about finding a woman who can completely accept you for “who you are”.
Now I know this may sound harsh but there is a great deal of truth in this..
I say this because I’ve met a significant number of Western Men who FAIL to understand that the process of successfully bringing a woman into their life..
Requires CHANGE and HARD WORK..
BIG CHANGES…
.. and LOTS of HARD WORK.
And most men TOTALLY UNDERESTIMATE how much effort is required to succeed.
Now on one side of the scale you may have Mr. Socially Unacceptable making a futile search for a “desperate woman” who he hopes will “easily” accept him.
And on the other side you may have Mr. Analytical looking for the step by step play book that he needs to follow in order to win the heart of a special girl.
Well in both cases nothing could be farther from the truth..
Sure you could pick up the latest Men’s Health or Maxim Magazine and read all about the “right techniques” that you “should” use to improve your love life..
And yes.. there is probably some value in between those glossy pages..
HOWEVER.
There is a much deeper goal which needs to be accomplished first.
And that would be to firmly establish your IDENTITY as a Traditional and Real MAN.
Let me try to illustrate this with an example.
Imagine that you are seated at some bar watching a Karaoke Contest.
The first name is called and an painfully shy and nervous man steps on stage and clutches the microphone with both hands as if he’s praying for someone to save him. His elbows are tucked into his ribs.. His legs are touching each other.. his back is hunched over.. and his eyes are completely glued to the small stage monitor showing the song lyrics. His clothes are frayed or sloppy or fit poorly. He gives absolutely no eye contact with the audience and there is no movement on stage as he stands perfectly still..
But worst of all..
There is no emotion or excitement conveyed as he drones on trying to “sing” his way to the end of the song as quickly as he can.
As you can guess this is also an unpleasant experience for the audience as well.. so they naturally ignore him and go back to their drinks and conversation..
Now to further add insult to injury.. imagine that after finishing his “performance” this man goes back to his seat and bitterly “whines” to his friends that this was a bad audience and that they should have liked him more then they did.
Starting to get the picture?
Now let’s take this a step further..
Imagine this same man coming to Russia or the FSU to look for a wife.
Maybe he’s even armed with every piece of information he can find about Russian Women and carefully reviews it during his flight over.
Now what do you honestly think his chances for success will be?
Even if he did get “engaged” what type of woman do you think would willingly agree to marry him?
Now I’m the kind of person who likes to be optimistic and always look at the bright side of things.
However, even with the best wishes I could possibly bestow upon this guy..
There is still a very high probability that he is going to be extremely disappointed with or without a girl by his side.
Because in either case..
Whether this guy is trying to “sing” karaoke lyrics he’s reading on stage..
Or
Whether he’s trying to “act out” every bit of advice he’s read on this blog..
Neither the lyrics or my advice is currently a part of his life..
Neither of it is part of his IDENTITY.
Now don’t get me wrong..
Knowing what words to sing on a Karaoke stage or knowing what words to say to a Russian Lady are both important but this is only 20% of what you need to accomplish..
The much more critical 80% that needs to be done first is to FIRMLY ESTABLISH your IDENTITY as a TRADITIONAL MAN.
Now the BIG QUESTION that I’m sure most of you guys are asking is HOW?
Let’s revisit the Karaoke guy for a minute..
Let’s say that this guy has a real passion for singing but knows that he has a long ways to go before he can be respected on stage. He takes voice lessons.. he goes out to Karaoke every chance he gets.. he practices at home..
And at some point during this process he makes the MAGICAL transition of taking an activity that he loves and incorporates it into his very soul..
Because in the beginning he may think to himself, “I like to sing..”
But after much dedication, practice and confidence building..
After all the songs he’s sung repeatedly becomes a part of his subconscious..
And his ability to convincingly perform them on stage becomes instinctive..
He wakes up one fine morning.. looks in the mirror and says to himself..
“Dude you ARE a SINGER..”
And then he jumps onto Craig’s List to announce his intentions to sing for a band.
Now this may seem like a silly example but I want you to imagine that your decision to come to Russia or the FSU to look for a wife is very much like deciding that you want to be on American Idol.
You either understand that you are a REAL SINGER who has a legitimate shot at success..
OR
You are just trying to mimic your way through and hope to not screw up too badly when in fact everyone in the audience can spot you out for the nervous newbie that you are. And they all make the conclusion that you have no business being on stage.
Well Gentlemen it’s the same deal with finding and attracting a great TRADITIONAL WOMAN into your life.
You either understand and take to heart the classic norms, appearance, etiquette, attitude and identity of a real TRADITIONAL MAN.
OR
You have a litany of excuses in deciding not to adopt them into your life.. i.e. ignorance, pride, cowardice, laziness, pessimism and so on..
So remember earlier when I said that any BIG CHANGE in your life require HARD WORK?
Well yes this is true..
But once again there is something far deeper and rewarding here..
And let’s just call that something PASSION.
Because if you have PASSION for something then you really don’t think about the sacrifices you make or the hard work that you do to reach it..
You just do it because THIS IS WHO YOU ARE.
Now I want to say right here and now in the STRONGEST POSSIBLE LANGUAGE..
That the decision to bring a Traditional Russian or FSU woman into your life is NOT for everyone.
There will always be plenty of guys in this world who have no business attempting this just like they have no business being on American Idol.
BUT.
As my lovely Russian lady friend named Tanya living in California says:
“What Men need to understand is that they have a unique opportunity to have a unique relationship that will bring them much happiness if they are able to make the right changes for themselves..”
So…
If you Gentlemen really want to do this then I will explain to you the classic norms, appearance, etiquette, attitude and identity that you will WANT to have as a Traditional Man in my upcoming posts.
You will WANT to take what I tell you and completely absorb and practice it until it becomes a part of your IDENTITY.
And it’s worth repeating that what you learn here is only 20% of the deal.. the remaining 80% is completely up to you.
Trust me on this Gentlemen..
If you are able to bring forth your inner Passion as a Traditional Man to manifest a Traditional Lady like this into your life..
Then the Passion she will give back to you will be at a whole different level then what you put in..
Or to use an interesting analogy..
A Traditional Russian Woman’s fusion reactor is always a challenge to start..
But once it ignites.. this mechanism which powers the stars itself will deliver warmth and light..
And in doing so will give birth to new worlds..
And to new life.
January 29, 2008 at 4:03 pm
Or to sum up: To get what you truly want, become what you should really be.
January 31, 2008 at 9:25 pm
I am always surprised by the capacity of american to codify everything.
Seducing a FSU woman is the same than for every woman in the world: be the knight who conqueers her.
Forget the silly rules you have learnt with american women and follow your instinct. The real man is not in texts but in you.
February 1, 2008 at 6:30 am
Hi Nicolas,
On some level I agree with you.. But simply “being the Knight” is not so easy and instinctive for many Men as you may think. If you don’t need this advice then great.. just appreciate the site and chill out.. But I think there are many other men who might be grateful for a more “left brained” perspective.
Cheers GL
February 1, 2008 at 11:51 am
Hi GL,
Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that your advices are useless, far from it. It is certainly one of the best place to start this adventure.
Now I have the feeling that many men intellectualize (I hope this word exists in english) too much this quest. A bit of preparation is certainly good, but don’t forget that the ultimate goal is jumping in a plane and go there. A woman will always prefer to meet an unperfect man than a perfect one who never shows up in Russia. It is pity that only a slight percentage of men who write to FSU women, actually goes in Russia.
And none can teach you at what moment you have to be tender with your lady to make her closer and at what moment you have to be more distant to excit her curiosity and preserve your part of mystery.
To seduce an FSU woman you have to demonstrate that you are the natural leader of the couple. If you have to think twice about each word or move, she will immediatly notice it and your image will be destroyed forever.
Don’t go there thinking that you will rescue all theses poor women. Respect them, they are often stronger than you. But keep in mind that a behavior which would make you an awfull macho in US, is normal and expected in Russia.
OK, I stop to torture you with my bad english
You start this quest thinking that you will learn about FSU woman and eventually you learn about you.
February 2, 2008 at 11:30 am
GL, you’re being ’sprinkled’ again…
http://siberianow.wordpress.com/2008/01/31/i-have-no-business-being-on-stage/
February 2, 2008 at 2:26 pm
great text, rw_man! you got it to the point, my friend. Can not agree more.
February 2, 2008 at 2:54 pm
Hi Nicolas,
Thanks for the clarification. You are more or less on the same page with what I’m trying to say.
Hi Socon,
No worries man..
Hi Axina,
Thanks for the the appreciation.. Would love to hear more of your thoughts on this.
GL
February 15, 2008 at 8:43 am
If that is the case, then if it should ever be discovered by the scientific community that human beings do not, in actuality, have free will, then all bets are off, aren’t they?
Although the human brain is a very remarkable organ, I still find it inconsistent that philosophers generally regard that human beings have free will and that animals do not, even though animals have brains which are inferior to ours. There is no structure present in the human brain that is not present in, say, a chimpanzee brain such that one would have this faculty that we call “free will”, and the other wouldn’t.
And it’s obvious that chimpanzees don’t even have a semblance of the faculty which we call “free will”, as their brains are really only capable of instinctive processes, and at best, mimicking what they see.
Human beings might be capable of higher functions, and what might appear to be free will, but for all we know this might be merely the result of a more advanced brain acting in the same deterministic fashion as that of a chimpanzee, rather than actual free will. And in fact after having studied this issue extensively, this is what seems to be the case.
But then that begs the question of why should any of us strive to be accepted at all. If it’s just Newton pushing around particles in our brains, and we have no control over whether or not we are accepted (as you also hinted at), then why should we burn ourselves out trying to make “BIG CHANGES” that aren’t ours to make, as our course has been predetermined. And besides, I’ve never changed for anybody in my entire life, and I’m not about to start now. If that precludes me from being “chosen”, then so be it.
It’s better to reign in hell than it is to serve in heaven, and it always will be.
Still if our course in life includes going to Russia, then that in itself is something that we should be happy about, because not everybody gets an opportunity in their lives to do that. Some people really have to fight to even get there in the first place. I’m talking about having to “swim move” through hysterical parents that even when you’re no longer living in their house still think you’re their indentured servant and when you don’t agree with that, call on your entire extended family to label you as the “black sheep” of the family in order to demonize you into submission. And then when that doesn’t work, they play a dirty trick at the last minute that ends up keeping you from going to Russia at all. I’m totally out now though, and have been since early January, and won’t ever be living with them again.
March 7, 2008 at 4:00 pm
I think this is a very good article and completely agree with the statement that trying to get Russian wife is not for everyone.
Most Americans, in my experience, don’t want to let go of the socially instilled brainwashing and become the man he should be. That change is not an easy path, but it is a path that ends up being happier and much more positive. They still want to try to treat Russian women as if they were American women, and that just doesn’t work. These women expect to be treated as ladies and that requires manners. Manners that we as Americans have let slip into the past. Also, wearing jeans and a t-shirt over there is not going to cut it. I don’t believe they expect you to be dressed up at all times, but my experience has been, the 1st meeting it is very important to be dressed in a nice button down shirt and nice pair of slacks and shoes. Besides, who doesn’t feel more confident when they are dressed nicely.
Sadly, an American male going to Russia to get a wife is looked down upon also. I can’t tell you the number of times I have had Americans get pissed at me for explaining why I am going. I always love the look on their face when I explain the difference between American women and Russian women. I ask, “Why do you “need” a diamond ring?”. Usually, I get a blank look because there is no justifiable reason for it. So, then I ask, “Would you have been happier with just a gold band?”. Usually, I hear, “Oh, no, I would not have been!”, or some derivation of that. I then tell them how a Ukrainian woman explained it to me and she said, “I want whatever ring you want to give me. How much the ring costs is not important. What the ring means is important.”. The looks are priceless!! Especially from American women because it slaps a lot of them in the face with their childishness and selfish attitudes. However, anyone going down this path, must realize they stand to lose some friends because there is such a great mis-understanding of what dating Russian women is about. I also think Americans tend to get their pride hurt because its not possible in their minds that American women are not the best in the world. lol……they can have American women, I will take a Russian any day over that over dramatized, selfish, princess attitude.
March 7, 2008 at 7:32 pm
Brandon442,
Your the man..
Thanks again for covering my six on this article and helping other readers to get this key point.
There is no way in God’s green earth you should or can treat Russian Women like American Women. I’m actually planning on doing a write up on this very subject because it’s one of the KEY MISTAKES that Men make when they get here.
I have a real issue with any service online that says that this is an easy process and that these girls are lined up ready and waiting for your every command..
Because that AIN’T the Case Boys..
There are so many Dating Agencies out there that feed this myth with their completely B.S. “Mail Order Bride” marketing terms.. I’m sorry but this is one of the most offensive and ignorant things I’ve ever heard and it drives me up a wall when I see or hear it.
That’s bad enough.. but when you still get guys out there who ACTUALLY buy into that twisted MOB fantasy then that’s got to be the worse and I will just flat out say that these Men are the last persons on earth who should be trying to find a real wife.
I don’t want to believe that it is true.. but I’m sure there’s a number of guys out there who fall into this category.. Because if there weren’t.. You would never see the “MOB” term being so popular on the web.
Anyways that’s my 2 and a half cents for now..
Take care,
GL
March 7, 2008 at 9:39 pm
Another problem that I see, and had was that it is OK to be bluntly honest with these women. Unlike American women, you don’t have to sugar coat anything for them. We as Americans have fallen into a hole of insincerity and dis-ingenious behavior that it is sad. Especially when it comes to American women. We aren’t supposed to upset them. We are supposed to get them whatever they want, even though they don’t know what they want, they just know they want it, and then when they get whatever it is they want, they complain it isn’t what they want. lol….its a waste of time and energy. However, with the Russians, you can say something like, “I don’t have the money to do that.” with out fear. Can you do that with an American? They prefer you to be truthful and blunt, but respectful.
Every guy that talks to me seriously about pursuing a Russian woman, I tell two things. 1. You have to be serious because these women are to special to be screwed around. 2. Once you travel to meet one, you will never see American women the same way again.
I didn’t believe the second one before I went, but I am here to tell anyone that will listen, it is the god’s honest truth.
I hate that Mail Order Bride crap to. I cringe every time I hear it and correct whoever is saying it. Even though I have met the two I went to see on a site, they were surely not mail order brides. Yeah, anyone that thinks that a Russian women is going to be treated as a mail order bride is friggin’ living in a dream world. These women have way to much respect for themselves.
A typical American women likes to talk about reality tv, Britney Spears, and inconsequential dribble. Russians can talk about such topics, but can also talk about politics, science, etc. and are generally interested in what you have to say. I love to go into Hooters or for that matter anywhere, and bring up going to Kiev. Most American women think Ukraine and the United Kingdom are the same place or think Kiev and Kia are the same thing, a car maker. Lol. Ask a Russian where Kiev or the UK is and I can almost guarantee every one of them will know. So another piece of advise, when you talk to a Russian, the conversation will be about such things, so go prepared. They especially like it if you know their history and language. I have learned some basic Russian and hope to get to a fluency level. I have also read 3 Russian and 1 Ukrainian history book. I did those things our of respect for them and myself.
April 13, 2008 at 5:13 am
RW-Man,
I do hope to see more articles on this topic of shaping american men to become “real men” not just because they want to be with russian ladies, but for themselves. I have been reading through the varous men’s sites on your links page and you can tell when men have started their change and formation from the passive, weak american selves into bold, daring, courage filled “real men”. I have also noticed these changes in myself, embraced them, and acted on this new found confidence and courage.
Men need to see what has been lost and truly want to fight to get it back.
April 13, 2008 at 5:26 am
Hi Sunny,
Thanks for the endorsement and I will certainly try my best to put thoughts to keyboard for you on that. But until that happens the greatest thing you can do is to visit an FSU country as soon as you can to witness and feel the contrast that I talk about so often.
GL