I completely understand that traveling to Russia or the FSU is NOT the easiest thing in the world to do.
Everyone has commitments to their studies, work or business and I know that it can be very hard to step off the fast moving treadmill of life in order to seek love and adventure halfway around the world.
These problem are further compounded by the obvious logistical issues associated with time, money and lack of local knowledge.
Or in other words..
Once you step off the plane for the first time you might be asking yourself.
“Well I’m in Russia.. What the hell do I do now?”
Well Gentlemen relax..
Because everyone goes through this and this is why they call it an “adventure”.
And this is why anyone who actually comes out here deserves some respect in my book..
You guys obviously know that you will NOT be taking the weekend trip to Vegas.. or the 4 day vacation special to Hawaii..
You will be traveling into the mostly decaying remains of a once proud and fallen socialist empire.
You are taking a time machine into an enigmatic past along with all of the intrigue and mystery that goes with it.
And you take this chance of a lifetime in the hopes of meeting a woman who inspires you and makes you “feel alive”.
So with this in mind..
It’s a pretty good idea to find a few travel buddies.
Check out the site called travbuddy.
It looks like a pretty solid way to find someone who may be traveling to the same city as you and I recommend that you check it out.
Now some of you might be traveling to meet someone you’ve met online or others might be coming here just to explore things on your own without any preconditions.
In either case finding travel buddies to do this with is still a solid idea as long as you allow each other private time to do what’s needed to meet ladies and go out on dates.
If any of you have ever gone scuba diving before then you can easily compare what I’m talking about to a diving excursion.
A popular diving excursion for example may have half a dozen or more divers on a boat heading out to some exotic dive location.
All divers pair up with their “Dive Buddy” and then take the big splash into the deep blue.. (or deep green if you prefer cold water diving like in California instead..)
Each Dive Buddy pair will naturally go off into their own separate directions.
And even the two guys within a single dive buddy pair might give themselves lots of space and do some solo exploring as long as they are still in visual contact with each other.
If they lose sight of each other then they are supposed to slowly head to the surface while spinning 360 degrees searching for their buddy in all directions. Once they reach the surface they are supposed to float and wait for their other buddy to appear who is also trained to do the same thing.
Now you don’t have to do anything quite as dramatic as this as long as you get a mobile phone first thing when you land here. Keep in mind that many North American mobile phones will not work here so just bite the bullet and get a new one because this will be one of the most important tools and safety nets you’ll have. So don’t forget this..
So to continue with our scuba diving analogy..
Many scuba divers will prefer to go diving with an experienced “dive master” who can show them around the familiar sites. Obviously in the case of traveling to Russia this “dive master” will be your local interpreter that you will need to hire.
I would personally recommend trying to get an attractive and outgoing interpreter that matches the age group and general appearance of the ladies you are trying to seek.
This interpreter will be extraordinarily valuable to you on this trip so take good care of her.
If you are dealing with an agency who has hired an interpreter for you go ahead and pay her yourself in order to quickly neutralize any potential agency scams or conflicts of interests. I’d recommend $50 dollars per day or more if she works hard and can be your guide even during late hours. Obviously don’t forget to pay for her meals or any of her taxi fees.
Don’t be afraid to switch interpreters if you find one with a stronger trust factor or good social network that’s more to your liking. Because quickly establishing trust and getting into the best available social network should be one of your primary goals.
Side note:
There can be some interesting advantages in hiring a local man to be your interpreter.
A local man’s perspective can be EXTREMELY useful when you are socializing and dating in this part of the world. In general he will be more upfront with you and will tell you What and What NOT to do in any situation… where as a proper lady interpreter may sometimes be too polite to let you know if you are “screwing up”.
He will know how to be bold, flirt and pour on the charm in order to break the ice and I assure you he can probably do this better then 95% of the Men in the West.
True he won’t be beautiful arm candy at your side which is obviously desirable in many cases just from a unique experiential point of view..
But he can be a very effective “hired gun” if you manage to get the right guy.
End Side Note..
Ok so back to our Scuba Diving party..
When your group has completed it’s various jaunts and excursions for the day then it would be smart to all meet up on deck somewhere and pow wow about the day’s events. You can all compare notes and save lots of valuable time and energy preparing for your next day’s diving activities.
Starting to see the value in all of this now?
Good.. I thought so..
So go ahead and give this travbuddy site a shot because the last time I checked there were about 1700 people signed up who were wanting to go to Russia.
Good luck..
March 27, 2008 at 6:22 pm
Great advice!
Some more tips from Aunt Natalia. )
1. No new cell phone needed. It takes a new sim card and/or prepaid time card. Mobile operators sell them widely through their shops, other mobile shops, newspaper kiosques, banks, postal offices, and even street stands. You buy a prepaid card with the needed number of minutes on it, scratch off the silver paint, dial the access code beneath it, listen to instructions on the phone (the seller can help), and have the countrywide coverage.
Leading operators for Russia and Ukraine: MTS (brand symbol: white egg in red square) and Beeline (yellow-black-striped circle).
2. Most interpretors are women. They provide more trust to your contactees and more fine psychological nuance detection to you.
BUT the danger is in growing attracted to the interpretor instead of the targets! “She speaks, she cares, she’s a beautiful single Russian woman, what more?” )) Take this warning very seriously.
I’m constantly getting men fallen in love with my language alone even when they don’t see me. ) On the other hand, Joseph and Dr.Tamara fortunately exemplify perfect images for intermediaries. An art dealer looking like a senior model for business suits, and a mother-figure psychologist with retro-Hollywood locks and ironical glance.
3. Travel buddies also offer economy in accommodation and facility for those who prefer the safety and entertainment of double dating to the genuine depth of one-to-one conversation.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
March 27, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Great advice GL and Natalia! I’d never thought about traveling there with someone else.
Is an interpreter needed if you know Russian? Perhaps to show the local sites? I also wonder about dialects, are they different by region like here in the states? I can barely make out some accents and dialects here I could only imagine how different they must be over there.
March 28, 2008 at 12:25 am
Both guides here on the journey are wise beyond their years. Hoping all will take alittle advice. It is indeed an adventure rather than simple holiday. Is much more serious, but well worth as long as safety, adventure and an open mind are top concerns.
Spasiba.
March 28, 2008 at 8:49 am
@SunnyInSanDiego:
Interesting question about dialects. Can you imagine there are almost NONE! I mean dialects in the common sense of it (linguistically seen there are some) - you will not really feel it. In Austria where I live now every villiage has its own dialect, one can hardly understand someone from the other town… It is not the case in Russia. There are definetly differences between the north and the south but basically everyone speaks the same :))
March 28, 2008 at 8:10 pm
I just got back from being in Ukraine for a week and meeting Natasha for the first time. As expected, it was a wonderful week, and my trip and my experience with her went very well. I will be going back again in 3 months and we are going to go to Odessa and she wants me to meet her family next time. I also had the privilege of meeting her son Zakhar. Being around them together was a great experience in and of itself. I can honestly say that I would have some difficulty wanting to be in a relationship with a single American mom because my experience has been they do not want to let a step dad be a father. On the other hand, Natasha is a caring mom and after some discussion and me seeing how she expected me to be with her son, her attitude is the exact opposite. We have a lot of the same attitudes towards life and marriage, but time will tell, as I am sure, I will have to go back at least 2 more times, maybe 3. What stunned me also was here was a 35 yr old lady that has had a child, yet has the body of a 25 yr old. However, you mentioned that it is a adventure and I whole heartedly agree. I stopped on the way this time in London and on the way back in Budapest. Budapest was awesome and I plan on going back and spending a week. I had a great experience with the taxi that picked me up at the airport…the driver gave me a tour of Budapest for $30. Anyway, any man choosing to do this, will find it will change him….for the better, as you will have some adventure in your life and ultimately you may meet a great woman to be your wife. I will keep trying as I don’t regret any of my trips and it was money well spent.
March 28, 2008 at 11:17 pm
SunnyInSanDiego,
regard this as if you were doing business. At what level of Russian would you feel safe doing without an interpretor?
It is absolutely beneficial to know enough Russian to read inscriptions, instruct drivers, ask and understand direction, shop and dine, etc. It is also empowering to understand more Russian than you seem to, or to seem understanding more Russian than you do. ) But there would always be domains barriered from you. Russian slangs and argots are varying from group to group, from generation to generation, even from year to year.
The value of an interpretor is in interpreting beyond the words, - bringing CULTURES together. Here are simplest examples…
“I want you to be my lover”
“lover” - into Russian - “mistress” (outside wedlock, often in adultery)
“What are we doing tonight?”
“night” - into Russian - NIGHT, the time that is usually spent sleeping, in direct or sexual sense (not “evening”)
“You look beautiful today” - (Only today?!)
“How are you today?” - (What the interrogation?)
I’ve already mentioned that many Russians wince at the sound of corrupted Russian. One sounds funny at best, not flattering the speaker and the hearer as expected.
BTW: I’ve talked to one guy who’s spent YEARS in Russia studying Russian. He wasn’t told the difference between “smeshnoy” (ridiculous) and “vesyoly” (funmaking), both counterparts to “funny”. )
Bottom line: Teaching your woman English brings faster reward practically and deeper pleasures emotionally.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
March 29, 2008 at 1:24 am
Thanks again for the insight Natalia.
I would probably have made every one of those mistakes plus many more, it seems that language is simply one aspect of a greater culture. Lesson learned for the day!
March 29, 2008 at 6:35 pm
Natalia,
Regarding interpreters; I have been in situations where an interpreter was needed and found that often the person being paid to communicate for me is someone with just enough background to get words translated but not always the true meaning of the entire statement. In China we had one translator who was pleasant and enthusiastic but never understood something being very serious, or very light hearted. It was as if everything had to lack any inflection or emotion. Is that the case in the FSU?
On my only trip to France our interpreter was a young French woman who spent 4 years in the US attending college. She was very adept at judging our meaning as well as our words, yet she never tried to read anything into what we were saying.
As for people trying to learn some basic words and phrases then heading out on their own in any foreign country, I can say from experience that there are some inherent flaws in that line of thinking. Not the least of which is understanding that while people everywhere have a sense of humor, people in different countries find different things funny and also words that translate well do not always have the exact same meaning everywhere in the world.
Years ago, when I was doing stand up comedy, one of my favorite things to ask pretty women while working on the road was, “Would you like to get married and move to Seattle?” On a trip to Hong Kong our interpreter asked if we had any words or phrases we’d like to know in Chinese, so I had him tell me how to ask someone if they wanted to marry me and move back to Seattle. One day on the Kowloon Ferry, a lovely young Chinese university student was telling me about the meaning of my name and horoscope in her language. This is commonly done as a way to make extra money while in school. Her English was not real strong but better than I had expected, then our translator suggested that I ask this young lady the question I learned earlier. With my best attempt at sounding out the words smoothly I asked this girl, in her native tongue, to marry me and move to Seattle. The look of shock on her face was unbelievable. She began crying and apologizing to me. Our interpreter jumped in and calmed the young woman down but my feelings that I had been so insensitive as to cause this reaction were overwhelming. It was a very harsh awakening for me to find out as things were more relaxed, that this young girl had dreamed her whole life of meeting an American and being swept off her feet and taken to live in the US. What’s more the city of her dreams was Seattle. The hardest part for her was that she had only days earlier given her word to her boyfriend that when they finished school they would marry and build a life together. Now I show up and offer her this fairy tale from her childhood. Though I felt every bit the ‘Ugly American’ as so many people around the world see us, I was able to spend a few days with her and her boyfriend sharing our thoughts and feelings about both of our cultures.
As a lighter example of the point, a friend of mine was speaking through a translator at a business meeting in Germany a few years ago. He mentioned American men sitting around all of the time staring at the “boob tube” which stunned many of the people in attendance. In the US that term refers to television but in Germany it was a name for a revealing, light weight, stretch top that young women wear in the summer. Later the explanation of his choice of words had everyone laughing to tears but it is the kind of mistake that is easy to make when you don’t know the language.
The key to remember is that you are the guest in their country and respect should always be your first rule. Propriety dictates that you keep your comments direct and to the point without being cold or thoughtless. In most cultures outside of North America communication is still almost and art. In some countries people have 5 or 6 words to say the same thing in slightly different ways. We, on the other hand, use basic (crude) adjectives to embellish everything we say and to add emphasis or feeling. To me it’s like the difference between a prima ballerina and an NFL lineman. They may both work on their feet but that’s where the similarity ends.
Beyond the language concerns I have a different question for any of you who have already been to the FSU. Can you tell me if you think that a regular travel or tour package is a good way to first view the FSU for someone who just wants to see what they are hearing about? My thought is to take my daughter there to sight see, do some research, take some photos and get a feel for the region as a prelude to anything else.
Thank you for your thoughts and ideas.
Richard
March 29, 2008 at 10:33 pm
Richard, I have some kind of answer to your question.
Althogh I have not been to the FSU, I do have a GF from there. I live in Canada, and right now, she lives in Denmark. She is Russian/Polish who was raised in Latvia.
She told me that Russia can be a much more hostile country then the rest of the FSU, and places like Latvia, Lithunaia, Estonia, Ukraine and such of the European countries are much friendlier to foreigners.
Another thing she told me is that less than 30% of people in most of those countries speak English. In the big cities there are more, in smaller cities less, and towns even less, etc.
You will find that most of these girls aren’t just looking for a husband, etc. to take them away. They are looking for their other half, the person that they believe was made for them. If they feel that you weren’t meant for them, they normally still want to be your friend, and a good friend. Many of them will try to help out their other female friends that they think might be meant for you, if they like you.
Taking your daughter is a good idea. It’s good to travel and show her new things.
When I went to Denmark, I flew into Hamburg, and rented a car to drive to Copenhagen. I did that because if things didn’t work out between me and her, I had things that I wanted to see in the Hamburg area.
My family was originally from that area, and a very powerful family from what I gathered. People’s attitudes changed when they saw the name on my Visa card, or driver’s licence.
I did drive on the Autobahn. The car I rented did 180 km/h………downhill.
But it was a wonderful visit. I thoroughly enjoyed myself. But leaving was so hard, especially with her begging, “Stay,” or, “Don’t go….”
Be warned Richard, when you find your other half, like they talk about, leaving will probably be the hardest thing you will have done yet in your life.
Anyways, that’s my little bit about life from my limited experience.
March 30, 2008 at 7:22 am
Hail Richard,
what powerful observations!
They prove that indeed one needs an interpretor / translator not only bilingual, but bi-cultural.
Following your analogy, in every occupation, there are “skaters” and masters with the “feeling of the ice”. But even beginners can manage not to fall, if they support each other.
Intoning discernibly but moderately, and harnessing one’s love of figurative speech, makes an interpretor’s work a lot more efficient.
Phraseologisms are so many and they evolve so fast that literal translation almost always makes a “false friend”; and not all equivalents would be promptly found. Creative speech, either, is not totally free of background images shared within one and not another community.
With all Joseph’s immediate experience and in-depth reading on Russian and Ukrainian cultures, I now and then have to mediate between his American approaches and local ways, that usually takes reformulating whole sentences or even blocks.
The process of explaining to each other what we’d otherwise keep perceiving differently never halts.
You’ve hit the nail with the Seattle marriage example. Russian women also take family topics specially, though with a cooler head. They would perceive everything either literally (with hope or horror), or in the Idle Verbal Badminton mode.
Good if light-mindedly; but certain judgement remains. Excesses shown in the recent post, “The Bride Vendetta”. It applies both to online and real-life dating.
In my “Table of contents”, you’ll see a whole chapter of posts called “Tests, Barriers, Misunderstandings”.
You might like these:
* Joking to a Russian woman: skating on thin ice
* Swear a Sure Way to Screw a Relationship with a Russian Woman
* “Bad” Body Language: the Filthiest Post on Russian Women & Western Men Interaction
* 3 First Mistakes in Emails and IMs to a Russian Woman
There’s also my summary on humor, moods and expression in
this comment.
Although Russian colloquial lacks the European degree of understatement, it is far less overstating than American. You can call yourself “tired like a dog”, but not “mad” if very angry, and speaking of others, should stick to (backspace!) should hold to nicer descriptions.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
P.S. Organized tourism in the “Wild East” is safer and lets see more advancements (drawbacks would jump into your eyes by themselves).)
March 30, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Hello Aunt Natalia
Yes good advice indeed.
You are right about the GSM issue as long as the Men who come over all have that type of phone then they can purchase their new SIM Cards.
Female interpreters as you correctly mentioned offer great “social proof” as to make other ladies feel comfortable and accepting now doubt.
I do however believe theirs a time and place for everything given the right tool.
Thanks again, GL
March 30, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Hi Brandon442,
Great to hear you had a great time in the Ukraine.
I don’t know if this was your first time but I bet your whole perspective on many things has changed.
Please keep us updated
GL
March 30, 2008 at 12:09 pm
Natalia once again your points on cultural differences in how we understand common phrases is spot on.
One of the biggest challenges for most guys is to be able to completely re-adjust the way they speak and that also means the way they think too.
Guys.. bone up on your reading on Aunt Natalia’s advice here.
GL
March 30, 2008 at 12:13 pm
Richard,
I think it’s a great idea to take your daughter to the FSU for her to experience it.
It’s great that you have a good enough relationship with her and her mother to be able to possibly do this.
I’m sure there is much she will be able to learn and experience as a young lady on this journey with her father especially if you point out to her that it is your belief that the women you encounter on this trip are what real women normally are..
GL
March 30, 2008 at 12:17 pm
Hi Wolverine,
Your friends observations of the Baltics and other FSU countries is correct.
Kazakhstan has declared English as it’s 3rd official language (the other 2 are Russian and Kazakh) which is a very positive and forward thing for them to do.
Because of this the push is on to study English and to adopt it as quickly as possible for international business reasons.
What this simply means is that as a percentage more people speak English in Kazakhstan then in Russia which was really a surprise to me.
So people by all means check out other FSU countries.
GL
March 30, 2008 at 6:12 pm
Master GL, thank you for approval! :*)
With the best, Natalia
March 30, 2008 at 7:55 pm
Natalia,
Thank you very much for your input regarding my questions of language and communication. As you can see I am no stranger to mistakes in this area.
In every cross-cultural situation I have encountered (even including a doll purchased as a gift for my daughter’s school friend yesterday) there has been the fear of not only saying or doing something to offend, but also of missing a point made by them which might change the perception of my intentions. Since the minute of that insensitive remark that I made in Hong Kong, I have tried very hard to never again forget that my cultural background is very open and casual and quite different from the rest of the world.
I have never been so worried about the feelings of everyday friendships at home because there is almost always the opportunity to explain any misunderstandings. However, when making a new acquaintance with someone from an entirely different country and culture, those early words can make or break a possible relationship of any kind.
My ex is French Canadian and getting to know her family in Quebec was every bit as intimidating as meeting someone from any other non-English speaking region. In fact even true French and French Canadians have some language and cultural barriers between them.
One thing that I am anxious to know about is trying to simply meet and chat with people from the FSU. My desire is to communicate with someone for a while, maybe without the looming possibility of romance, so that I might gain better knowledge of what would make any future relationships realistic. Certainly talking with single women has an advantage in that regard since my ultimate goal for even being here is to find out if my future includes someone from that area. I would hope that by having some extended communication with someone there I would slowly begin to have a better understanding of the way thoughts and words could be expressed without offending anyone.
And just to be completely up front, I also market a high quality line of skin care and cosmetics which I want to do some research on for potentially introducing to that part of the world. I have had a desire to conduct business in the FSU for many years including light manufacturing and other projects I have been involved with. However, my primary focus is still on the possibility of meeting a woman with the values and dignity that I believe make her desirable as a wife.
Regarding the travel there, I have been looking at packages available in the coming months and if the right offer comes along I will be bringing my daughter there to hopefully show her a part of the world where people still hold to some of the beliefs that I grew up with. I think that if she meets people there and we have a chance to talk about their family values, a natural part of her femininity that might kick in. I would like her to learn that in cultures other than our own, it is okay for a woman to act like a lady and expect to be treated like one, too.
Thank you again for all of your thoughts and suggestions.
Richard
March 31, 2008 at 6:43 am
GL,
Thanks for your response to my last post. I am excited at the possibility of traveling there with my daughter. We have been a family of two since her mother left six years ago. At this point I have full custody and my ex has never put up a fuss over the trips I have taken our little girl on, including international destinations.
One of my hopes if we visit the FSU is to try meeting some single parents and comparing notes on raising children alone in our different countries. It seems that my daughter’s concepts could be vastly expanded by this sort of cultural exchange and at the same time I could have the opportunity to see first hand if someone there might hold the key to my desires.
As a long time believer in marriage and family I have sought to build the kind of security we saw in the 50s with a husband and father who provided for the wants and needs of his family without being in some sort of competition to accomplish that goal.
With two failed marriages to look back on I can say without hesitation that the dream of family that I have carried through life is not going to happen without dramatically changing the potential players and field of play.
Can you tell me about any lines of communication that are available for simply meeting and chatting with people over there which may not involve romantic possibilities? I’d really like to just converse with some people to better understand the wants, needs and desires they have in comparison to our own.
Another thing that has been on my mind is the ultimate goal of having that old fashion family value scenario back here in NA. As it seems the women there hold these beliefs as well, does that make it hard to find someone who is willing to leave her family and friends to move here?
Thanks again for all of the input and ideas.
Richard
March 31, 2008 at 1:25 pm
RW,
No, this is my 5th trip, 4 to Ukraine, and 1 to Russia. My life was never the same after going the first time. I am pretty positive about my growing relationship with Natasha. I plan on going back in June or July and then in September. I absolutely love being around her and her son. I have a friend that returned to the US on the day I was leaving and after talking with him yesterday, he feels the exact same way I do…..Russian women are amazing!
One disturbing thing did happen this trip though. I noticed a lot of American men going that I could tell were not well prepared and to be honest several that should not have been going. On the way back, I ran into 2 that were upset because the trip had not gone the way they wanted it to. After discussing it with them, I found out that they were upset because the ladies they visited did not have sex with them. I chuckled and they asked me why I laughed. I said, “If you came all that way just to have sex with a woman, you probably would have been better off staying in the US to get what you wanted.”. They had the complete wrong attitudes and I wish individuals such as them and a few more I met this trip would stay in the US or at least out of FSU countries.
March 31, 2008 at 7:21 pm
Brandon,
Isn’t it amazing (not to mention annoying) to see that NA men will go to such trouble and expense as international travel with no higher objective than getting laid.
Those are the guys that seem to fit in so well with the masses of NA women. (The women that the rest of us are trying to avoid.)
Over what period of time have your 5 trips been?
Thanks,
Richard
March 31, 2008 at 8:32 pm
Richard,
Yes, I have no clue why these individuals would think that they would be able to have relations with a Russian woman that is serious about finding her husband, and it lead to sex on the first visit. Can it happen? Sure….most likely won’t though. These women are way to dignified and have way to much respect for themselves to do that. In my experience, I am usually so caught up in her, that sex, albeit important, will happen when it happens. For instance, I met Natasha and most men would find her very stunning with her black hair and ice blue eyes. She is a very attractive woman, but I was so infatuated with her, that sex was not that important to me. If we decide to take our relationship to a physical level, it will be in due time and be appropriate. Whereas here in the US, that is basically all this bunch should be used for.
From my experiences with talking to these men, they are all very misinformed or have not done their research. For instance, this last time, I was our shopping for her and her son a nice gift, and I ran across these two Americans. The one with the girl says, “Can you help me I am completely lost with her?”. So, I talk to him and he had no clue about not giving even number of roses, Offering your arm, etc.. So, she walked up and I had a short conversation in Russian with her, to which she immediately perked up. (I know enough Russian to get by, but that will be changing shortly.) You could tell she was not enjoying her time with him and I could understand why. I gave him a few tips and sent him some links, but I am afraid that relationship was doomed. In my mind, if a man is going to go to the FSU countries just to get laid, he should just stay where he is at because it is most likely going to be a helluva lot cheaper there. Plus, it doesn’t give the rest of us bad names. I had a long discussion with our interpreter about the subject of men doing this that have no business doing it. It was a little concerning to hear some of her stories and how offensive some of theses guys can be.
My trips have been over the past year and a half to 2 years. My first 3 visits to Ukraine were to see the same lady and I cherish the time we spent together. She chose to stay in Kiev due to personal reasons. However, she was truthful with me from the start and thus we are still good friends and I have no ill will towards her. My 4th trip was to Russia and Kazan, but we just did not click, but had a wonderful time. This last trip was my 5th trip, 4th to Ukraine. I am pretty positive and excited about Natasha, but we will have to see how my 2nd and possibly 3rd visit goes as we are just starting our relationship.
April 3, 2008 at 2:28 am
Hello!
I have just began my journey looking for the right woman possibly from the FSU. I know what you guys mean about cultural differences. There are a few russian ladies here in town(major city), that I have chatted with occasionally. Sometimes they look at me really funny when I talk to them. Most of the time they are pleasant, but I get the feeling that sometimes what I say is not being portrayed through cultural differences, hence some funny looks.
So since I have found this wonderful place to ask questions, I do have a few.
I am very interested in family orientedness, and devotion. I am still a young guy,27, and would like to go out from time to time, of course with her!, I like to dance from time to time, and go to lounges. I am not a clubber or drunk by any means, I do like to have fun though. I know that some of these things may remind a lady from FSU of the very things that she doesn’t like. What is your opinion on this?
Also, this may already be on this site somewhere, but I would LOVE some help finding reputable places to look through profiles. I have a big heart, and I don’t want to fall head over heels for someone, and then find out it wasn’t real. ouch! i have heard good and bad about anastasia-international, but remain a bit skeptical, as every single lady on there looks like an absolute super model. I know there are many beautiful ladies in FSU, but this seems a bit extreme to me. Am I right here?
Also, I would like very much to learn about lifestyle in FSU, how the women perceive life there, and such. A little more than factual, maybe moreso, how the ladies “feel” about things. I think that is a little more to the heart of things.
Thanks!!!
April 7, 2008 at 1:32 am
To Tim578,
I am signed up for Anastasia- International. My profile has been posted W/O photo for nearly 2 weeks and I have received over THREE DOZEN first letters from the former CCCP. Because I am looking for a mate from 35 to 50, I think at least 30 of these are real. Why? Because only 4 or 5 of them look airbrushed!! However, I googled “mail-order brides” and found a website that states this firm (A-I) has more active lawsuits against it than any other similar firm. An injudicious claim, to say the least. One nasty thing the detractors claimed is that many of the real knockouts have no idea they have contacted you!! I suspect that this would be more prevalent among the 18 to 30 year bracket than my bracket, but in a few months I’ll update, if I haven’t been “Gagged” by their lawyers. I will also point out that the best looking 35 plusses are mostly from the Ukraine. Also, and from your post I think you know, NONE of the agencies are procurers. (Look it up.)
April 7, 2008 at 3:33 am
Dear Fritz, if it looks airbrushed, then it might be real - i.e. naively made up by the owner herself and not pixelized. ) Do you believe professional photographers and editors would let themselves caught by the hand at fudging? ) Cosmetics, light and lens filters are one great thing, and above that… what lets us see Angelina without her tattoos? )
Found a description of an algorithm called “soap”: blur > texture > historic brush mask, with some eye-opening illustrations…
but won’t make links, ’cause some of my comments that contain 2-3 links are already bundled in GL’s spam filter tonight.
Sir, please check! )
Sinc., N.
April 7, 2008 at 12:22 pm
[...] A Good Way to Travel to Russia and the FSU I completely understand that traveling to Russia or the FSU is NOT the easiest thing in the world to do. Everyone has commitments to their studies, work or business and I know that it can be very hard to step off the fast moving treadmill of life in order to seek love and adventure halfway around the world. These problem are further compounded by the obvious logistical issues associated with time, money and lack of local knowledge. Or in other words.. Once you step off the plane for the fi [...]
April 7, 2008 at 7:50 pm
Dear Natasha,
I have a cousin who was a professional photographer. He and I think we can often see the difference between tricks that enhance, and those that CONCEAL. I don’t mind the first kind. As they say around this section of Pennsylvania, “Kissin’ wears out. Cookin’ don’t.”
April 7, 2008 at 8:31 pm
Hey everyone,
As a professional photographer myself for over 30 years, I can tell you it is not all done after the fact. Now that the technology is greatly improved and has moved from the darkroom to the laptop, any high school kid can doctor up a print. Better quality images come from better quality photographers who know how to do this stuff as routinely as a mechanic changes spark plugs.
As far as the vast number of women looking like pros on some of the web sites it certainly appears to me as though the level of recruiting justifies the expense of quality photos of well attended ladies. Look at all of the backgrounds and lighting of the images on a site like Anastasia and then go to some site like ‘Web Fate’ or ‘Match dot Bomb’ to see the difference. There are no businesses demanding high end pictures at the sites we are used to here in NA. Some of the ‘crap shots’ women use on NA dating sites are terrible. True match making services expect the clients to provide or pay for good quality photos.
Most of those match making places in the FSU are making a very good living by presenting the top of the top, cream of the crop.
It still gets down to whether or not us guys are willing to leave home and pursue a new life with new possibilities.
Beautiful women are never hard to find and good photography only makes their charm stand out. What we are (hopefully) looking for goes a lot farther than the studio or the catalog of pictures. What the photographer doesn’t have the ability to show is the heart and personality of the model. As good as many images are it is the spirit of that woman you seek that is truly desirable and that won’t be found scanning photos.
However, there is a marked difference in looking at beautiful women on a site like this one, which is that these are the everyday shots of everyday ladies in their everyday lives. How much better does it get than that? Some of the very best shots I have ever taken were outside the studio and ‘off the clock’ or totally candid. Even a professional model looks better to me after work, just being themselves.
Best wishes, everyone.
April 7, 2008 at 11:52 pm
(Which, at our 99% pirated market, costs pennies if not copied for love, whereas a savvy patient photographer is expensive.))
I did not mean to defend A. at all, - it’s just that my reference to the contrary is still in the spam filter. )
April 8, 2008 at 1:19 am
Thank you Nat,
I do NOT mean to disparage girls who need a bit of tweaking. (And to me, any human female below the age of 60 is a girl.)
April 9, 2008 at 6:38 pm
Just LOVE the comment of Richard!!! - very professional and candid.
April 14, 2008 at 2:02 am
Richard,
If you ever decided to bring your daughter to the FSU with you for a visit them I’m sure that you would blow many people’s minds here.
And in a good way too..
The idea of a single man being able to have custody and taking his daughter for a trip would come as a complete surprise to most if not everyone here.
I can very much appreciate the following comment you wrote..
“With two failed marriages to look back on I can say without hesitation that the dream of family that I have carried through life is not going to happen without dramatically changing the potential players and field of play.”
I think most of us Men here on this blog can be grateful that we now have an awareness of just how loaded the dice are against us and just how slanted this playing field is so it’s great for you to quit while your ahead and try out a different arena.
As far as communications are concerned I’ve mentioned several times on this site that you can find tons of people from this part of the world on chat programs like ICQ and on other blogs like Live Journal which is really popular here. For the more daring you can try the Russian Language social sites like Yandex or Mail.ru..
Explore, Say Hello and Interact..
And let’s just see what happens..
Take care,
GL
April 14, 2008 at 2:05 am
Brandon442,
“One disturbing thing did happen this trip though. I noticed a lot of American men going that I could tell were not well prepared and to be honest several that should not have been going. On the way back, I ran into 2 that were upset because the trip had not gone the way they wanted it to. After discussing it with them, I found out that they were upset because the ladies they visited did not have sex with them. I chuckled and they asked me why I laughed. I said, “If you came all that way just to have sex with a woman, you probably would have been better off staying in the US to get what you wanted.”. They had the complete wrong attitudes and I wish individuals such as them and a few more I met this trip would stay in the US or at least out of FSU countries.”
I’ve met more then my share of guys like this too. And you are right it is unfortunate that they are here trying to swing their “Mojo” around like it was some instant treat and expecting sex quickly. Not good..
I hope that at least some of those guys study up on this blog to see what the real deal is and how important it is for them to be humble, respectful and presentable.
Thanks for spreading the word and doing what you can to educate guys like this.
GL
April 14, 2008 at 2:14 am
Brandon442,
You brought up another great point about meeting these ladies for the first time.
Dating a truly beautiful and traditional lady is a VERY NOURISHING experience for your mind, emotions and soul.
It is so easy to be so caught up in that moment of pure energy and fascination that you are just feeling extremely grateful to be in her presence.
I don’t believe this can be categorized as idolatry or worshiping a star. It’s just an exceptionally rare moment for most North American and Western Men and when it finally does happen it’s to be remembered and treated with great reverence.
This is how real romance should be..
And unfortunately for many Western Women.. I feel that they will never know the experience of being on the receiving end of this type of true and genuine devotion.
One can only hope that they someday get it.. and I hope they do..
GL
April 14, 2008 at 2:23 am
Hi Tim578,
I’m glad you discovered us and how great these ladies are.
I don’t see a problem with how you show these ladies a good time. It really doesn’t have to be complicated..
In fact it shouldn’t be complicated because the best dates I’ve been on were actually just romantic walks in good weather.
I would recommend that you learn how to enjoy these little simple pleasures because I believe you will get more out of them..
I’ve already told a number of other people to get onto ICQ or Live Journal to try to meet up with these folks online.
Good Luck, GL
April 14, 2008 at 5:33 am
Still “awaiting moderation!” O-OK, at least my week-old comment wasn’t lost to edit and repost it… )
Tim, your mode of couple entertainments is very much like the type of Russian women you are seeking, and these are many.
They like fun, and have limits. Describe your style of going out as it is, and it will put you a mile ahead the bores that would rather put them under lock, frowning on public facilities as nests of sin. See this comment.
Clubbing is not as good for the beginning phase of relationships as it is for getting them out of the rut, but it still has some explorative value. When you are acquainted enough, dancing can tell volumes on each dancer’s psychology as well as on mutual chemistry and rapport. Just make sure you’re going to dip into to the same style of music you both like. )
Re Anastasia, my friend Joseph has known its owner, and could encyclopaedize all sorts of scam performed under this brand.
Richard, I could say that a market study for cosmetics is a nice intro, particularly on ICQ, but this would be half-joking because some people are annoyed at commercial contacts or ones that look like MLM.
Live Journal is favored by Russian emigrants; if you come across an anglophone blog or forum on Russians’ life abroad, cool! There would be “wouldbe” emigrees to like your style and attitude.
Following different questions, I’ve made one more comment about meeting people in the FSU, on the thread of my “SWOT” post, but have to sacrifice this second link here to get through. ) You may find additional ideas at the end of that comment.
Sincerely,
Comrade Natalia
April 17, 2008 at 9:54 pm
[...] enterprise and commerce, professional interpretors and also one’s own independent understanding are vital. For family relationships – the Highest Level of Common Language is the measure of [...]
April 25, 2008 at 7:06 am
“When you are acquainted enough, dancing can tell volumes on each dancer’s psychology as well as on mutual chemistry and rapport.”
Dear Aunt Natalia,
If you would can you expand on this?
I have for a long time been a dancer. My very first dance instructor told that if we wanted to know a girl to take her dancing then you’ll understand her. In ballroom dancing, the guy leads and the girl follows his leads.
Sometimes, I noticed that when I’m dancing with an American girl, she will back lead; in other words, she’ll go at it on her own rhythm and force a move in which I would have to give into and go along with. There seems a disconnect between us and it feels awkward. Then there are other girls who knows how to follow well, and we become effortless as we move about through the dance floor.
So in itself, these are microcosms of our relationships in the real world. Take a girl dancing, and one will soon find whether she is a follower or someone who is independent and has her own ideas about how to go about. To me, I’ll always be happier with someone who can follow; because I feel a sense of unity. The energy between us is complementary and not antagonistic.
-M
April 26, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Great comment, Manoah, that still leaves room to expand. )
There are comparatively few clubs here in Kiev where you can salsa or tango, and not all girls know how to, so my advice covers any style of dancing.
(Though the popularity of ballroom dance classes is on the rise after the “Dancing with the Stars” show, the opportunities to apply these skills socially here are as narrow as some rare ball parties for the city elites. If you rise to have a dance at a restaurant that plays appropriate music but does not have a defined dancing floor, it would take your partner much courage to break the pattern, and reactions may range far from indifferent: the manager would interfere, or all the house would burst into applause.
But you just suggested a brilliant idea of a venue for meeting women:
BALLROOM DANCE CLASSES!
They attract special women but lack menfolk badly.))
So, when dancing out, you probably have an opportunity to start your observations from solo performances, dancing to each other simultaneously or taking the floor while the other is resting. I guess you know the psychological value of plastic drama and improvisation. It displays one’s energy and sensuality, that can be natural, restrained, forced, conventional…
She may be distracted by other men once in a while, and it’s okay to let her fly a kite a little, just make sure they all can feel your friendly but confident presence. She may downplay her attractiveness to them so as to be delicate to you. Or flirt with them actully flirting with you, them being just stand-in instruments (like a cat a woman pats to arouse a man) and jealousy testers, - this is OK so far as you can see that she turns more “formal” to them and “special” to you.
When it comes to close contact…
You know, back-leading is not all about butch character. ) Sometimes it is a self-protective reaction to her strong attraction to you or vice versa that’s embarrassing her, - this is why I’ve emphasized a sufficient degree of acquaintance beforehand.
Sometimes it is a natural reaction to man’s leading off the music, but with you it must not be the case. )
Ability to follow is rather a measure of compatibility and opening within a certain couple.
So many times I caught myself overtaking the lead of partners “weaker” than myself (or maybe they just had a low energy day). I didn’t enjoy it any bit.))
And oppositely, there were men whose skill / aura just made me plunge and dissolve… or feel like sculptor’s clay.
You may also like a “second pilot” personality who offers you an inventive duet. Working through the leadership style section on my agency questionnaire, I find it more accurate for people to estimate it separately in the outworld, in couple life and in bed. )
Would stop here till I talk too far off-topic. )
Sinc., N.
June 25, 2008 at 12:41 pm
[...] that look like promises, allude to feelings prematurely or put them to doubt. Here’s an example and my expanded comment on [...]