I don’t know about you but I’m the kind of guy who will try almost anything to see what it’s all about. Years ago when i lived in California there were a group of guys who would gather to practice their pickup techniques on various girls in shopping malls, restaurants and clubs.
Most of the material they used was based on two different works.. One was called Speed Seduction by Ross Jefferies and the other was called Double your Dating by David DeAngelo. Now some of this stuff is VERY effective in getting girls to feel attracted to you or getting past their resistance to get physical with them..
HOWEVER.. Here’s the catch.. What is the big picture here?
Is the big goal just to score sex off of some girl who probably has little or NO qualifications for being a loving and compatible partner and wife?
OR
Is the big goal to find someone WHO IS qualified to be your loving wife and partner?
Get the Picture?
Once I came to Russia I sure did.. I realized why go through all the effort to learn how to seduce or attract a girl when you are probably fishing from the wrong pool of girls in the first place?!
OK so you managed to get laid.. Congratulations.. You like that nice empty feeling inside that comes afterwards? You want to be with THAT for the rest of your life? Or worse.. You want to have kids with that and end up getting divorced within a few years and having to pay heavily for many years to come.. and I’m not just talking financially here..
Now if you really want to understand this concept.. just think about Diminishing Returns.. and the amount of time, energy and money you will need to put into something that will quickly over time give you less and less and less and less of what you truly desire as a Man. So guess what happens when she get’s more and more and more.. and you get less and less and less..
Well it’s called a sick Co-dependency guys.. and you are on the losing end of that very bad deal.. Do yourself a BIG favor.. DON’T go there.. If you don’t know what Co-dependency is you can Google it.. But in a nut shell it’s fear that the girl you have or desire is ALL you are ever going to get.. So you better do everything in the world to KISS HER ASS and to make her stay with you. Hmm sounds real tasty eh? Well lots of guys convince themselves that it taste like the best supreme pizza they ever had because they are too “afraid” to try something else. That’s like a junkie saying that he’s too afraid to stop sticking a needle in his arm..
Now don’t get me wrong.. I’m all for expanding your knowledge and of the two works mentioned above.. the Double your Dating material is quite fulfilling and valuable and has it’s uses here in Russia as well. However whatever personal construction tools you decide to load up on.. just make sure you are building the right home that will LAST for you and your WIFE.. and not a dingy tin shack for some crack whore.
(to read part 2 click here)
(If you enjoyed reading this post then please share and submit it to any of the following.)
digg
del.icio.us
yahoo myweb
reddit
August 21, 2006 at 8:55 pm
Yes, I think this pickup stuff is really getting people relationships they dont’ belong in. This guy I was dating for a week revealed to me he uses this site pickupmastery.com to seduce girls in bars. I would have never talked to this guy had I known that. But since he covered it up I ended up sleeping with him. Ugh… that David D guy is even worse.
August 21, 2006 at 9:39 pm
Hi Belflower,
Thanks for posting! I think it took guts to do that and I hope you keep it going.
I decided to expand my reply to you so you can check that out here.
https://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/08/22/double-your-dating-and-speed-seduction-part-2/
GL
September 23, 2008 at 5:01 am
Hey RW,
Thanks for the comment on my site.
A couple of points:
You have misunderstood what co-dependency is. It is NOT, as you describe, thinking that you will only be able to get a single woman for the rest of your life and therefore investing everything into her. That is one-itis.
Codependency is more accurately described in my own post here http://realitymethod.com/2008/09/what-to-do-if-your-girlfriend-is-an-addict/
Trust me on this one. I have not only battled through this neurosis myself, but my parents are also codependent, and I have seen many others caught in its trap over the years.
Secondly, there are a great many guys who do NOT want to marry or settle down with just ONE woman for many years, but instead want to sex many woman, or more than one woman at the same time, instead. For them “speed seduction” or “game” as it is better known, is essential.
There are many men at differing levels of “skill” at attracting women in this world, and I daresay many men attracted to the “seduction community” are looking, not just to sex lots of women, but also for self-improvement. If they are lucky they will realize this sooner rather than later and get their shit handled eventually.
This does not preclude them from eventually marrying. Most men eventually will.
But let’s not suggest that anyone who does not follow that path is cursed. We do not curse those who prefer monogamy and marriage. At least I do not.
Cheers and keep up the great work. I enjoy your site.
September 23, 2008 at 5:05 pm
thirtyplus,
First of all I wish to say that your post regarding addiction is amazingly direct and exactly on the mark. There is no bullshitting about the nature of addiction and all of the “I can handle it” attitudes in the world will have zero effect on changing anyone’s problems.
Sadly we have reached the point in NA society where the level of addiction and the sheer number of things people are becoming addicted to will directly touch one of four adult men and one of three adult women. In a nutshell, thinking that you don’t have to worry about this problem is akin to saying “I don’t have to worry about dying if I jump in front of a speeding freight train”. Add to this the apparent connection between addiction and depression in women of childbearing age and the possibility of your 20 to 40 year old girlfriend being messed up gets pretty high. In dating terms all of us NA men have the deck stacked heavily against us even before the feminist agenda rears its ugly head.
As for some of what you said in your reply to rw_man, I might have missed something but are you implying that there is a correlation between some of these ‘seduction training’ books and self improvement? I don’t think that is what you are saying but I only ask because there was a time when I found reading excerpts from some of those books to be quite hilarious, however any form of self help was nowhere to be found within the pages. In fact I found that entire style of writing to be more than a little counter productive in that it was always patronizing to me and belittling to women as a whole. Books that minimalize every woman to the point of a warm pit to dip your wick in are of no value to anyone but the writer. Any “social skills” that might be gleaned from pick up manuals will have very few applications in a long term relationship. Granted, heading out to a bar to pick up some quick sex does not mean you value the women you are looking for, but books about becoming a pick up artist are at the very bottom of the literary barrel and nowhere at all on the “self help” list.
As far as most men eventually getting married, I think that any of them who start out as seduction masters can pretty much count on a miserable life when they decide to settle down with one woman. First they will inevitably become bored with the relationship at some point, and what’s more they will never have developed any skills for identifying or understanding what a good woman is. They build on sand and wonder why they winds of time so quickly eroded their foundation.
It seems to me that men who find their way to sites like this one are at a place in life where they have figured out how dull and pointless countless dysfunctional relationships are and that getting laid is neither difficult nor fulfilling.
September 24, 2008 at 6:29 am
Hi ThirtyPlus,
I’m all for freedom of choice with most of what men decide to do but with that comes the realization that there is also freedom of choice to make long term bad choices too.
I have to completely agree with what Richard is saying on this subject. And let me add one other point to his excellent summary.
The best and most fulfilling sex you will ever have is with someone you love.
To me and many others this is obvious because in order to obtain this you have to have a high degree of emotional bonding and physical trust with one another.
I challenge any guy who is into speed seduction to try to have a truly rewarding sexual experience with some girl they just picked up on.
I’m sure there is a nice little ego driven endorphin boost because of a new “conquest” but that’s about it and someone is left holding the empty bag afterward.
And lets face it.. First time sex with some new person is the worst. You don’t know anything about that person good or bad. Emotional problems, STD’s, Hang-Ups, etc. etc.
Also if there is only simulated romance and not the real deal then this is not going to be fun or fulfilling for you for the long term I guarantee it.
I’m not going to say that everything that is learned or advocated by your site is bad or negative. But I do believe that the emphasis should be on…
One
Knowing how to find the BEST Woman possible physically, mentally and emotionally.
Two
Increasing your Social Skills and Social Graces for DATING and Long Term RELATIONSHIPS as a Primary Goal. Not for Sexual Acquisition Target practice.
As I’ve mentioned above in this original post. I’ve read some valuable information concerning good social graces and female psychology with De-Angelo’s material but I wonder just how much more of a good thing his work would be if he emphasized the above 2 points more then just sex.
In any-case thirtysomething thanks for popping in and starting this interesting and important discussion with us.
GL