Hello,
First I would like to compliment you on a great web site. My question to you is, I have been contacted by a Russian girl from my yahoo personals. I am not sure if she is for real. She has not asked for money, only my address and phone number. I only gave my address. She doesnt really respond to my questions in e-mail. She sends my lots of pictures. Some of her letters are very sexual and she says that she loves me. I find this hard to believe that with just e-mails. She also says she is going to visit me in the near future. One more thing thats odd is her e-mail address its at lilyway.com. Does this ring a bell? These e-mails sound to good to be true. I hope they are true.
Thanks in advance,
Jason
Hi Jason,
If it smells like a dead fish.. It’s probably a dead fish and especially in your case this seems to be true with this supposed “girl” who is contacting you. First off even the sluttiest Russian girls are not going to talk sexually with a complete stranger so to me that’s a dead give away. Not to mentioned the fact that she doesn’t answer your questions.
But the biggest issue is this.
Russian girls NEVER say “I love you” unless they are already practically married to you.. And even then this is not something they toss around like we do in the US. To say “I love you” in Russia is considered a very serious statement and not to be used on some funny Budweiser commercial.
As much as this must totally suck for you.. drop this one dude.. You are only obviously being played and that’s the last thing you need if you are trying to find a real relationship. It will only set you back further and put you on the wrong track.
Good Luck,
GL
I have met a Russian lady through the internet and we have e-mailed for about a month now. After finding out through various websites, I know now that having children and a loving husband is the primary reason for seeking a husband outside their country. We met on a dating website that is 99% US women. I did not know she was from Russia till she responded to a email I sent.
She has made that clear to me that her dream is to have a family and be a loving wife with me. And I think there is a very good possibility that I would like the same. Now here is my concern! I had a vasectomy sixteen years ago, and I just started looking into a vasectomy reversal. I am finding that the percentage of successfull reversals is not good. A person could spend 10-20k and not have it reversed. Some of the medical sites recomended a sperm donor, or adoption.
I do not think adoption would be a option she would want, but do you think she would consider a sperm donor as acceptable? To me that would be fine. I was an adopted child, and I love my parents. Also I raised two stepchilden and one of my own. Thanks for any help or advice!
Tim
Hi Tim,
Before I get into the children part I really want you to take a step back, cool your jets and really study the previous post I put up about the 80/20 rule when it comes to dating Russian girls here.
https://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/07/20/guys-you-gotta-read-this-thread/
You probably don’t want to hear this Tim but you’re not married yet and even if there are high expectations on both sides with you and her with the emails.. you are STILL less then 20% there progress wise! One of the biggest mistakes that a man can make is to make a move based on bad timing which is based on a false premise. So just don’t go there no matter what your heart is telling you buddy. Take a deep breath and take it one step at a time..
You still have to meet this girl and let the other 80% take it course if you still actually like each other in person. Try not to put all your eggs in one basket my friend this may become a very expensive lesson if you do.
Now saying that.. I will answer your question about children. All Russian women dream about becoming mothers. The only ones that don’t have lived in the US for awhile and have been infected with the anti-family feminist propaganda but thankfully this is few and far between. Ultimately their biological clocks take over and put an end to that non-sense.
If you get married to ANY Russian Girl (notice I’m not going to specify THIS girl as YOUR girl yet) she will naturally want to have your kids.. She will obviously be disappointed if you can’t or won’t give her what she wants.. BUT that shouldn’t stop you and her from loving each other and exploring other options. The key point for her is the loving environment. If she has this then her confidence level reaches the point to where she should feel OK with having kids.. any kids.. as long as she has them… Russian women are very practical in these matters in understanding that a bird in the hand is better then 2 in the bush.
Your previous experience as a father to two other step kids is a bonus and any Russian girl should easily recognize that.
Good Luck!
GL
P.S. If you really feel like giving her “full disclosure” of your situation which I don’t recommend right off the bat.. I would just heavily focus on YOU wanting kids as well and that you will do anything under the sun to make it happen with her. Don’t put the carriage before the horse here. You don’t need to raise potential issues before their time.. You need to raise TRUST and COMMUNICATION first! 🙂
Hello!I read your site and I have so many questions that I was hoping you could help me with and many of them are intellectual in nature.
1 You mentioned a friend “Mr. R” when you were talking different periods that a country goes through. You said this friend of yours is history buff. I look at society today and I just don’t understand how it got this way. I would like to seriously study how it is that gender relations, and social dynamic got to be the way they are. I also want to understand how things used to be back before things got all messed up. The best way I think I could do this is by seriously studying history. But there is so much revitionist history books out there it’s hard to know what books tell the truth and which don’t. Do you think you could suggest any books or textbooks that would explain to how social dynamics and gender relations used to be and why it is the way it is today. Or if you could ask your friend which books I should read.
2 You are a mens rights movement guy right? I’m curious, are you aware of the site the-niceguy.com?
3 One thing that always fustrated me was that younger women today(20s) are really obsessed with bad boys. If your a nice guy, respectable and treat women with respect then no women are interested. But the women love to date vinnie the drug addicted bad boy. Look at all the pick up artist websites that teach guys to act like the bad boys that get all the women. So what I don’t get is why women like bad boys to begin with. Any ideas?
4 Do you think women always liked bad boys or do you think that this was always the case?
5 Do russian women love bad boys just like american women?
6 I hear what you are saying about russian women being better than american women. But I get a different picture when I look at some of the numbers for instance. The russian divorce rate is higher than the US’s. I know a couple of aamericans in russia and they say that while they are better than weatern women they also tend to cheat a lot.
7 You seem to suggest on your site that feminism is the main reason that american women are the way they are. Feminism definetly is playing a role but I see it more as a symptom rather than the cause. I was wondering if you could tell me why exactly you think women have become what they are today? In other what exactly do you think has caused the present day situation in the US?
8 Your site is awesome! I really like it. I imagine you are getting a lot of interest from readers? Men really seem to be looking into russia and other options, can you verify this? And is there a danger that too many men would go over there and ‘spoil’ the women to the point that they are no better than american women?
Thank you for taking the time to read this. And any answers you could give me are appreciated.
Harvey
Hi Harvey,
Thanks for the compliment on my site. It’s been well worth the effort to put this out and to generate the good vibe It’s been creating. I’ll answer your questions by the numbers..
1. I’m going to get more deeply into gender warfare in a future post but for now it’s easy to pin down in a nutshell.
Some people say MONEY is the root of all evil.. This is total bullsh*t guys…
Laziness + Ignorance is the root of all evil.
Laziness or Ignorance leads to personal and professional failure. Which in turn leads to not having material necessities or things of desire..
This in turn leads to Envy.. Envy is then exploited and amplified by politicians and “social leaders” to make the lazy and ignorant people believe that they are being “oppressed” or denied success by people who are not lazy and not ignorant. Since there will always be many more lazy & ignorant people in the world then smart and hardworking people.. the politicians will always have a willing audience who will believe any line of crap that he/she gives them of a better future with their “Social” or “Equality” oriented policies in place.
If you study history like I do you will easily see that every-time a leader or movement promises paradise (or any kind of “free ride”) for their people what they are really delivering is mass killings, genocide and complete societal chaos which sets the entire country back many years.. Sometimes permanently.. It’s just the old Bait and Switch game but on a massive and Un-godly scale.
For reference.. check out Mao and the cultural revolution, Lenin and Stalin with the great purges, Pol Pot and the killing fields of Cambodia, and of course Hitler and the Holocaust. Each one of these leaders promised a vision of Utopian paradise AND to eliminate a primary enemy who they promoted as being the cause of all of their societies problems… hence the term “class warfare”.
Never be fooled by the liberals arguing that conservative policies are just as bad.. this is outright propaganda.. the truth is that between 150 to 200 MILLION people have been intentionally killed by leftist communist policies throughout the world. Nothing else in the history of mankind comes close. And the liberals in their zeal for making “a better world” for all of us are really marching all of us down this path all over again.
No one was sent to the gulags, the firing squads, or gas chambers immediately. It was slow, methodically developed and acclimated into a society with the right combination of denigration, propaganda, and media/cultural manipulation. But over time the results were brutally obvious. Unfortunately we Americans need to wake up to the fact that many of those elements are already in place within our own society.
Feminism my friend is a very prominent branch from this root of evil. It’s original goals nearly a hundred years ago were noble (like the right to vote) but once the goals were met their modern leaders like Gloria Steinem and Patricia Ireland didn’t want to stop and congratulate themselves.. they had to keep on making up new evils to vanquish in order to keep and grow their power.. So it shifted from focusing on bad laws to focusing on turning all Men into the great Satan and oppressors of women everywhere.
The more women the Feminist movement can lie to and convince that “it’s all a Man’s fault” or that all Men are just violent oppressors waiting to “violate” a women the more these women will give up their independence and free thinking and then turn into mindless slaves themselves. But it’s usually all an excuse for some woman to sit on her ass and to dream up ways of trying to punch her meal ticket for the rest of her life.
It’s the oldest play book in the world.. which is to control a group of people by fear. And remember what Master Yoda said about fear right? “Fear leads to Anger.. Anger leads to Hatred.. Hatred leads to great Suffering..” (or something like that) 🙂 Isn’t that what’s firmly in place right now with the so called “Women’s Movement?”
During Communism’s peak to be labeled a “counter-revolutionary” on just rumor or innuendo alone often meant death or the re-education (concentration) camps. Aren’t we silently going down that path already with “Sexual Harassment Workshops” or mandatory “Sensitivity Training” seminars if you are even suspected of being a “harasser” or whatever label they tag on you?
Guy’s I’m no radical but I am pretty well traveled and have seen enough of this in many places to know that the US is not immune to this plague. In fact the more we think it won’t happen to us the more certainly it will happen. You have no idea how powerful propaganda is on seemingly smart and educated people until you’ve seen it in action like I have.
We are now entering 3 generations of women in the West who are indoctrinated with this stuff and the results are beyond bad.. If you want more proof just visit some of the Men’s sites and read up on the various Orwellian laws that have targeted us. But then again you probably wouldn’t be visiting this site if you didn’t already know this on some level. 😉
Here are also a few reading sources I highly recommend…
The Little Black Book of Communism
Eject Eject Eject http://www.ejectejecteject.com/
Anything written by Larry Elders
Anything written by Thomas Sowell
On a final note.. I see the devastating results of “Communism” or “Socialism” everyday when I step out my door even-though it ended 15 years ago. “Feminism” is just another extension of this and heaven help you guys if you ignore it.
Now saying that, I also believe that the best long term solution for this is to find youself a good woman and let these feminist grow lonely and old and ultimately fade away while you enjoy your life and hopefully lead by example to your fellow man so they may also understand what delivers happiness and what doesn’t. It is very true that we all reap what we sow.. so if enough of us do this then currently destructive things like Feminism or Socialism will lose their fangs and become a curious novelty of history.
2. I don’t think I’m a men’s movement guy and i don’t really know the website that you’ve mentioned. I’m more of a “solutions” guy. Like all men naturally are.. I do believe I have a powerful awareness of some answers that many other men have been searching a long time for.. and with all your great support I will continue to do what I can.
3. 4. 5. Women attracted to Bad boys. Great subject.. so here’s the deal..
In the US you will have a much higher percentage of women who are attracted to “bad boys” because US women live more prosperous lives and can spend more time and energy trying to satisfy their emotional vanity. These women are what I term “Competitors” and not “Supporters”.. For more info read this post.
https://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/07/18/women-and-the-development-of-society-part-1/
If US women are well fed (i.e FAT) and well insulate with an extensive government “Social Net” (yes i’m referring to my 1st response above) then there is very little real challenge or danger in their lives. They get to play like the 2 little pigs who only wanted to screw around while the 3rd little pig was building his brick home. “Playing” in this case means not seriously thinking about the big picture and being completely self-absorbed.
This means that they get to focus on their emotional instincts primarily and not their logical ones. Or another way of saying this.. In the US stupid women breed and flourish but in Russia.. they quickly die off..
When women allow their emotional instincts to take over they will naturally go for the “Bad Boy” because it’s more of a sexual thrill. Also genetically and subconsciously they believe they are getting a “strong man” to procreate with them.
All women including Russian girls will always have a certain level of attraction to bad boys too. And I do see this in action all the time.. However here’s the key difference. The older a Russian girl gets the less illusions she has about bad boys and understands the consequences because she is surrounded by CONSTANT reminders of this with real homeless mothers and scores of drunk guys who look like the walking dead in the streets.
So although younger attractive Russian girls often do play major games (in-order to find the limits of their sexual power).. somewhere around the age of 22 or 23 they wise up fast because they’ve just finished school and need to enter the workforce which believe me over here is a real hard wake up call for them.
Are you starting to get an appreciation for how big the differences are between Russian and American women?
Also get this… it’s expected for a Russian girl to be married by the ages of 21 to 25.. Any older and they begin to get viewed locally as old maids.. And this is no sh*t gentlemen.. The remaining older Russian women who are still attracted to bad boys… If they can even find one.. seem to get culled by nature very quickly or have a lifetime of sh*t to look forward to.. And that is a pretty powerful reminder for the other girls to wise up before it’s too late..
6. Russian women and divorce.. read my post..
https://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/07/28/russian-women-and-divorce/
Russian women and “cheating”
Significant numbers of Russian women “cheat” on their BOYFRIENDS (this may not mean sexually) and there are some good reasons behind this from their perspective.. BUT once they get married they DON’T cheat on their husbands.
Guys, respecting marriage is a HUGE deal for Russian Women.. and they are under TONS of pressure to take responsibility for it.. to make it work.. to NOT be seen as a failed wife and especially NOT to be seen as a failed mother.
Life is hard enough as it is here for most Russian women so being labeled a whore who jeopardizes the welfare of her child will not score her any brownie points to make her life better with.
(Now compare this to the “Desperate Housewives” and “Sex in the City” mentality we have in the US..)
7. Feminism.. (see #1 above..)
8. Thanks for the support. Keep reading and don’t worry about other men “spoiling the soup”. (Read my previous post.)
https://russianwomen.wordpress.com/2006/07/29/sharing-and-success-with-russian-women/
Worry about yourself buddy and move yourself forward towards this goal!.
Good Luck!
GL
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Russian Women - The Real Truth 
July 31, 2006 at 3:57 pm
OK, i am e-mailging with this russian lady, Svetlana she says she is 29 and lives in Izhevsk. so far she has not asked for money just info. on me { age, likes,dislikes, ect.] she says she would like to come to U.S. for a 2 week “visit” to meet me and i her. she says point blank that she is looking for a husband, i prefere that any women be honest upfront so i don’t mind the bluntness. i noticed she referes to time in the military sence {1900hrs} she says her parents are dead and that she was raised by her aunt. so far i haven’t picked up on any scam or psyco illness. i told her we should e-mail or write more before a visit. am i proceding with enough caution or am i taking a chance of scaring her away. thanks, Dave
August 1, 2006 at 2:52 am
Hi Dave,
The BIG RED FLAG here is the visit that she wants from you. Men ALWAYS go to Russia to see the women and not the other way around initially.
There are VERY restrictive Visa requirements which make it nearly impossible for a single Russian woman to travel to the states unless she has a history of being there before or if she can get in as a student for a 3 month work and travel visa during the summer only.
To many Russian girls have abused this system and have overstayed and become illegal immigrants which creates major problems for the remaining girls who want to visit legitimately.
Now aside from all of THIS even if you could get a visa for her you don’t want her to come to the US first. The fact that she wants this is either a very bad sign or very bad ignorance on her part. She may be just trying to squeeze a trip out of you and if you don’t work out hell she can find another guy while she’s there get it?
No in-order for this to be legit you need to visit her. And she should have known that.
I hope to God in your emails that you weren’t suggesting to her that you could fly her over. Guys make sure you NEVER do this because then the motivations for a real relationship go to shit and much of it get’s hinged on an exciting vacation for her… which by the way is a big deal here and gives her big bragging rights with her girlfriends.
Now saying this.. she still maybe perfectly legit.. BUT.. Keep your options open.
GL
PS most Russians keep track of the time using the military format.
August 1, 2006 at 1:24 pm
thanks GL, i know about the visa situation. and i was a little susspiciose of her wanting to come here and not wanting me to go there. and no i have not told her that i want her to come over, it was her idea from the start. thanks for all the help. Dave
August 4, 2006 at 7:02 pm
I wanted to add a little side note to this discussion about Russian Women and “cheating”. I just met an incredibly beautiful small town girl from Kazakhstan today who was visiting her relatives. She was only 18 but had the intelligence and maturity of a woman who was far older.
We struck up a nice conversation and I asked her if she had a boyfriend. She said yes but that he was not a serious boyfriend but she only allowed him to be with her because her mother had died last year and she had a real problem with being alone.
You could FEEL the sadness and the longing in her voice eventhough if you saw her smile you wouldn’t know any better. It only happened in a split second but I caught it..
I took this as a sign that she was throwing me a line to see if I would bite. The way her body language was oriented towards me along with the way she said this was a total give away that she wanted to pursue getting to know me more.
My heart goes out to her because this girl was clearly a young doe out in the wilderness.
So here’s the point. Imagine you are in her situation. You’d basically stick with anything you could find and then hope that something better would come along.. There’s no doubt that she was searching for a rescuer and there is absolutely no shame in this.
So you guys should get something very clear in your heads.
This girl reminded me that there’s two different types of “cheating”..
Malicious sexual power cheating
vs.
quiet desperation cheating.
You can guess where this young girl fits.. along with the MILLIONS of other girls here just like her. All wanting to find the right Man that they can anchor their hearts to.. and to not face the nights alone..
I know I’m going to be thinking about this one for a while..
August 8, 2006 at 1:52 pm
Hi,
my name is Uwe. ‘m come from germany. I search a russian women with girl child (girl-child/children 0-10 year old). I’m a father of a little girl.
Please write me. Thanks!
Bye Uwe
August 8, 2006 at 2:04 pm
Hello UWE!
Welcome from Germany! I will certainly do what I can to help you Sir with any ladies that I may come across who will fit that because finding husbands for mothers here is a VERY good thing. In the meantime you can just email me you information.
Special wake up call for the Dubai Girls..
HELLO LADIES from DUBAI 🙂 Are you still with us? There is a German gentleman here who is looking for a wife who is also a mother. Do any of you ladies fit the bill?
If so give us a ring..:)
August 11, 2006 at 9:59 am
Hello GL
I went to Russia last year to meet a very special girl. She is 37 and I’m 53 now. I had the best time of my life, and I have found the girl I want to marry. I still remember the places we went to, and the good times we had. I also remember the night before I had to leave her. As we were laying next to each other in the dark, my arm around her, I felt the tear drops falling. She didn’t make any sounds, but I know she was hurting. She says she loves me very much, and I love her too. She also tells me that if I can’t wait for her, I should find someone else closer. I don’t want any one else. All I want, is to be with her. Could she be telling me that she doesn’t want to wait? I hope not.
Now we are waiting for the fiancée visa, and I know it is a long process. I sent the papers to immigration in May, and they said that it could take up to 6 months. After that, if everything is OK, she will have to go to Moscow to be interviewed at the US embassy there. I have heard that they will try to trick her, so she will say something wrong and not get the visa. Is this true? Is there something we should know before she goes in for the interview?
Thank You for any help you can give us.
Sincerely
Allen
August 11, 2006 at 2:43 pm
Hi I like your topic here, because there is also a pretty Russian girl who said that she like me. I will believe that if Im an American, but the problem is Im a Pilipino(guys from the Philippines). I know, I know our country have a bad reputation around the world, but im not a bad guy, the only bad guy here are those fucking politicans hahah . Anyway I have a scenario here, Please help me. I work as a Sr. System Analyst in our country, and sudenly somebody sent me an email, a beautiful Russian girl, saying that she is interested with me. The problem is Im not an american, I live in a 3rd world country, where life is a survival. I dont know, but she sends me a lot of here pictures and email messages that she likes me. I mean Im nothing, totally nobody and Im a Pilipino and nobody wants to become a Pilipino, but this is what God gaves me, and I have to live with that, I dont have any problem with that.
My question is, what is the objective of this Russian girl to me. Am I a victim of something else I dont know, I know internet so much, I mean Im a Sr. System Analyst, its always easy to make things up at the internet. Please tell me if this is a big lie, please help me. I know that this is so good to be true. Im wondering if somebody of you become a victim of this. Tnx a lot and God Bless…
August 12, 2006 at 8:38 am
Hi Allen,
Hi Allen i’m going to get much more deeply into a response for you in the blog a bit later but from what I can tell her feelings for you are just as real as yours.
There is such a thing as unconditional love and you may very well be on the receiving end of it for the first time in your life.. that’s why it may be hard to actually accept and recogize..
Keep posting!
August 12, 2006 at 8:56 am
Hi Jo,
From what you are telling me this is not a good deal for you. Every country in the world has women that are both good and bad. Russia is no exception to this.
A “good” Russian girl is never this forward to someone she’s just met in person.. and certainly not that way to someone like you that she’s never met.
I hate to see when good men like yourself get pulled by your heart into something that isn’t real. I’ve been to the Philippines several times and it’s no different from a local bar girl telling you that “she loves you”.. Or that “she will love you long time”.
If a local Filipina girl said that to you then you would instantly know to stay away. The same is true here my friend.
Also one last thing.. I wouldn’t put yourself down because you live in the Philippines. I’ve met Russian girls in Korea, Saipan, Thailand, and Singapore. The world is an open market for life and love and that means you can be a part of that as well if you choose. I know for example near the Russian Chinese border areas there are plenty of Chinese men who seek Russian women so Western Men aren’t the only ones..
Good Luck my friend..
August 14, 2006 at 1:22 am
I have been divorced for three years, met
and dated a number of American women. I am over 50, still fit, a professional and need a woman in my life. I have certainly “given up” thinking I will meet an American woman that is not looney, money grubbing, out of shape, self absorbed/selfish, whatever. Oddly myself and all my buddies have the same problem…get a phone number..get blown off in a day or two..American men..guess what..with respect to the American woman..we are becoming obsolete..they dont need us (or want us). I will go to South America, or
Russia, I can tell by the few foreign women I have emailed the logic and thinking is what we me should expect of women,,feminine, warm, atttentive, open to the conept of a partnership in live..the basic stuff- you remember—“WOMEN”. I have found that the American woman is simply out for herself, if she thinks “the grass is greener on the other side of the fence”..dude you had better go…because she will be “gone” and she has the forthright
and many times premediation and organizational skills to easily pull it off…before you know what up…you’re out.
GO FOREIGN ASAP
August 14, 2006 at 5:31 am
Hi Philip,
Thanks for the comment.. If you are deciding on if you want to go to South America or Russia then check out this post you should find some good info there.
In the meantime I wanted to thank you for reminding the men out there NOT to WASTE TIME.
This is one of the worst feelings in the world when you understand that for whatever effort and sincerity you put towards a courtship with most American and Western women you actually discover that you are on spinning your wheels and quickly on a path towards “Diminishing Returns”.
There are quite a few topics here related to that and you can read through them as well.
However what I’d like for you to do is to re-focus your mind towards your goal. And what it is that you need to do to accomplish this. As we all know the past is mostly only an anchor that keeps us stuck and prevents us from moving on.
A simple place to start is this.. What type of woman do you want in your life?
Hope to hear from you soon.. Cheers!
August 21, 2006 at 1:31 am
Ok, here is my situation, hope you can help, i met this Russian girl on http://www.true.com a website to meet women from anywhere, she winked at me i winked back we started to correspond with each other… Now, she wants to come over here for 1-2 months for a visit, she is 30 years old, she has not asked me for a penny to come over here, and this might sound bad but i have been burned before, i will not spend one red cent for her to come here, only because i want to see the dedication of her intentions, and if this is not really what it seems, then no loss on my part. In the emails though, kind of same as above i ask questions, there is no answer to the questions, she has sent me photos, just normal ones of here at home or sitting on a wall at a park, nothing sexual in nature at all. And like above paragraphs, she too was blunt in saying stuff about marriage, in fact here is what she wrote me word for word, now bear in mind this is about the 10th email she has sent:
START OF HER LETTER TO ME
My dear love Mark!
It was so pleasant for me to get your letters! With every your letter I feel that we becoming more closer and closer! Every time, when I reading your letter, my mood become well and my heart is knocking so strong! I miss you very much and all my thoughts last time only about you! When I coming to Internet club and saw a letter from you, I was pleasing as a small girl. You are the unique man that can understand me now and can support me in difficult situation! I am sure in you and I can trust you in any case. I think a lot about you and about us and I understood that I dreaming about making a family with you to have a honest, loving, reliable husband like you, who will be sure in hisself and in myself. I dreming about that time when I will be helping you in all about house, to work and rest together, laughing and solve common problems, because your problems will be my problems and on the contrary. I think, it has to be so if people love each other.
I thought a lot about this all and what we have to do now.
I think,
that we have to meet in person and I am ready to arrive to you for us.
How do you think about it? I dont see more best way to know each other, I think, we cant get such result just communicating through letters. But I am very serious about you, and about our meeting. We did a big step for making serious and longterm relations.
I think we
dont have to stop here, we have to make next serious step, the meeting which will let us to know each other better and it let us to continue our relations.
I talked to my girlfriend what do I need to come to you, is it real or not. She know about it because she visiting sometimes another countries. She sayd that I need visa and air ticket only.
She sayd
that it’s not a big problem to make a visa for one or two month. She advised me to go UVA (Ufa Visa Agency) and to ask there about it. So I will ask my chief to go home early tomorrow and I will go to Ufa at to the UVA to ask more about it.
My sweetheart, how do you think, if I will come to you, where is the best place for my living? At your home or at a hotel? I would like to stay at your home, if its not a problem and if you want it. I hope my wish to come to you to meet in person is not confuse you.
Please tell
me the true.
My dear Mark! I do not have a big salary but it’s not bad for Russia.
I saved some money for any case, but I was not sure for what. I think, that this case is come. I dont sure if this help us for visa and ticket both, I dont know how much does it all cost, but I hope it will help us. Also I would like to go to cash departments of airport to know how much tickets cost. My dear Mark, I need some information for this. Please write me closest airport to you and what date is better for my visit? I shall be waiting it with impatience. My closest airport is UFA.
Forever yours,
Lena
END OF LETTER
Does this sound normal, i mean i am really in awe of her and our conversations (emails). and she does have an art to reach out and grab my heart, i just dont want to get caught up in something, wrong i guess, nervous and scared a bit.
Any advice would help
Mark
August 23, 2006 at 11:39 am
Hi Mark.. Sorry for not getting back to you sooner.
Dude this letter smells bad.. Bottom line.. You are supposed to go to Russia and not the other way around. A woman who suggests that she is coming to visit you cold like this is more then likely either a fraud or a woman tht you don’t want to know.
The classic scam here is that she will get you all worked up emotionally (along with the 50 other guys she’s writing to) and then plan a date for “her arrival”. At this point you will want with all your heart and soul to see her and then at the last minute she will be short on money and won’t be able to come unless you “help out”.
To me this whole letter is setting you up for that. Like you correctly noticed.. It’s WAAAYY TOOO Forward. Talking about marriage and a life with you when she hasn’t even met you..
In Russia this is called the old Natasha and Boris scam. You think you are talking to Natasha when in reality you are talking to Boris.
Mark you can’t just expect that your perfect dream girl is going to magically appear at your doorstep.. and this is EXACTLY what “she” is pitching to you. It if sounds too good to be true it’s because it TOTALLY is.. This is NOT how normal courtships work here in Russia.
I’m sure your dream girl is here man.. but you are going to have to put some real work into it to make it real. I hope I’m not sounding too harsh but I just want to give it to you straight and prevent you from getting screwed so you can move forward in a real and proper direction.
Good Luck Man..
GL
August 29, 2006 at 1:30 pm
hi was wondering if yoy could help me i got contacted by a russian female a month ago she said she had heard about all the scams and did not want any money from me by the fourth letter she was saying that she needed 400$ to come and see me because she loved me when i ask her a question she never answers me i smelled a con so sent back saying i would go to her but she has sent back saying that it is ok for me to go to her but it is custom for her to come to me where she lives and it is an insult to her parents for me to visit her could you please give me some advice weather i am being scammed thanks mr steve foster i live in england
August 30, 2006 at 10:05 am
Hi Steve..
Imagine that you see an advertisement in your local newspaper for a top of the line computer that is normally worth a 1000 quid but is being offered for only 250 quid.
You run down to the store with you copy of the advertisement in hand.. You go up to the salesperson.. point to the add and say,
“Hey mate I want THAT”
Salesperson turns around and says..
“I’m SO SORRY Sir.. But we JUST ran out of that particular model and don’t have any more in stock…. HOWEVER.. We do have this model for ONLY 500 quid… it’s not only a REAL Steal but we only have 1 left in stock too!”
Steve.. “Bait and Switch” is the OLDEST game in the book when it comes to business, politics and life..
Please don’t let someone take advantage of your gentle and honest nature and fall for this.
I don’t trust any scenario where the woman says that she is coming for a visit JUST FOR YOU. Cause that is just the same as the too good to be true advertisement for the too good to be true computer on sale.
Good luck Steve, keep us posted and please tell your mates about us..
GL
August 30, 2006 at 10:39 am
thanks gl for your advice im have wrote back saying she is either being very naive or silly wanting to come to a strange country on her own have heard to many times that ladies just take the money and do not turn up have asked her how she is going to pay for the flight ? received an e-mail today saying when i send her the 400$ she has a family ring which she is gong to take to moscow and sell all the while saying how she loves me it sounds awfully strange she seems to have an answer for everything what do you think ? steve
August 30, 2006 at 12:25 pm
Hi Steve..
The reason “she” has an answer for everything is a little self-explanitory isn’t it? If you need more info check out this link..
Cheers
August 30, 2006 at 3:28 pm
HI DO YOU THINK THAT I SHOULD NOT ANSWER AND MORE OF HER LETTERS OR WHAT I KEEP THINKING THOUGH WHAT IF SHE IS GENUINE HOPE YOU CAN HELP STEVE
August 30, 2006 at 3:42 pm
Hi Steve. if you want to have fun and play with this you go right ahead.. This “woman” will not show up but you might get some entertainment value out of it. If anything you will learn a valuable experience.. just make sure it doesn’t cost you time, money and pride.. OK?
August 30, 2006 at 3:46 pm
THANKS MATE I WILL BIN HER
September 26, 2006 at 7:32 am
In response to JO #8 Aug/11:
Kumusta ka, JO,
I really have to ask the big question. Why a Russian lady When you already have the most beautiful ladies in the world at your doorstep?
I know, I know, It is all a matter of preferance.
There is a large Russian community in the Phil.
Why not ask some of these ladies what they think?
They are very nice, not shy, and brutishly honest. I say that in a good way.
Anyway Jo, It is good to see you here. Mahuaby.
March 1, 2007 at 10:27 am
I believe it is true that most of the FSU women are financial predators. How do I know? I made the biggest mistake of my life and married one. I was fortunate enough to have recieved a good size inheritance from my deceased parents who worked and saved all their lives to pass this inheritance to me.
She doesn’t cook, doesn’t clean, is lazy and ignorant, makes constant demands, and spends my money. She left Russian to get her child and got married to get money for her spoiled kid.
Soon my disgusting servitude to this wench will be over. I’m getting a divorce and I hope she gets sent back to good old Russia.
I lived in the northern midwest where women are few and far between and the foreign bride market seemed
better than nothing at all so I tried it. It was very intoxicating to get all kinds of attention from so many beautiful women. So I took the bait hook line and sinker. So far the woman has been only partially a good wife. She has provided me with mediocre companionship but the price has been staggering. Divorce is iminent now and the total price tag for this relationship will be between 150,000 and 300,000 dollars. This particular woman says she loves me and does deliver a normally frustrating relationship but it is a ONE WAY STREET….HER WAY.
That is part of the FSU culture, to control, dominate, exploit, and conquer the west, particularly a western husband who has a few bucks. I know a few other American husbands of FSU wives and they are all miserable.
Now this woman is orchestrating an organized effort to pilfer as much of my inheritance as possible for the purpose of giving it to her child. That is her main objective. THe relationship is merely a concession in comparison to this quest.
I was stupid enough to let her talk me into buying a
house in Florida so she could be a big shot there. Now she is using marital property laws to claim half of this property, and half of everything else I buy. Now I can’t buy anything until I get rid of her, or she gets half of it all!
TO ANYONE OUT THERE WHO IS CONSIDERING THIS OPTION…
…DON’T DO IT!!!!
March 1, 2007 at 4:30 pm
Hi John,
Thanks for your comment.
I know guys who are miserable with their Russian Wives as well.
And these are the guys who have gone into this process with more of the M.O.B. mentality then the guys I work with.
John I could be wrong but when you say things like..
“the foreign bride market seemed better than nothing.. ”
That raises a total red flag for me on how you approached this whole relationship from the start.
Also there is a lot of mention in your comment where you refer to the “value” of your relationship ONLY in a monetary and material sense when you said…
“…the total price tag for this relationship will be between 150,000 and 300,000 dollars.”
“I was stupid enough to let her talk me into buying a house in Florida ”
“Now I can’t buy anything until I get rid of her”
John I’m sorry for being less then diplomatic on this but if you went to Russia and flashed lots of green in an attempt to “attract” a woman like I very much suspect that you did..
Then you got what you deserved.
Or as a friend of mine once said..
“If you come to Russia acting like a John (no pun intended) then you will only attract the whores and suffer for it accordingly.”
John, keep in mind that I don’t wish you any ill will.. you are going through a tough time and I hope you are learning something positive from this.
If at some point in the future.. when you get this woman out of your life and you are back to being alone again and want to seriously reconsider your approach to a relationship.
Drop me an email and maybe I can work with you to do this the right way next time around..
Good Luck to you..
GL
May 9, 2007 at 12:35 am
Interesting story / question here because it invovles 2 essential facts.
1) I was not specifically searching for a Russian girl
2) I did not meet this person through a dating site.
But I could use the help anway.
About a year ago or so I became friends with some Russian people in my local community, and started to learn the language and became very interested in the culture etc, but before this never though specifically about “Russian women”.
One of my local Russian friends encouraged me to sign up for a language exchange and there I met a couple interesting girls by chance, one who I speak with everyday. I think they are legite poeple, I’ll show my reasons why here in reference to girl #1
1) never asked for money, or to come here
2) Always answer’s questions, and asks me frequent questions, get’s irritated if I dont’ answer
3)give phonte number, home address, work number, etc. Always answers the phone and is the same one the phone. She can’t tell who is calling because it say “private number” (She has a relatively good job, and is listed on the companies website, just as she said.
4)She never talks about love, or sex, but of course the subjects comes up casually between friends but the most she has ever said is “you’ve become important to me over time,” or “hey where were you yesterday, I missed you”
5) she offered to help me on my upcoming trip to Russia, meet me at the airport, show me the city etc.
the only inconsistent thing is that one time she said she was 24, then later 25, but we all know girls lie about their age lol.
Also there is another girl who is coming to the US on a work/travel visa, not specifically to meet me. Never asked for money, just said it would be cool if I had time to come by and hang out.
Also I’ve send both birthday gifts, small items, but no money of course
sorry about the length, what is your opinion. I can provide letters but many are in Russian.
As a side note, their photos are amateurish just like mine. They are not goddesses but just normal girls.
Just let me know what you think.
May 10, 2007 at 5:30 am
Hi Chris,
Everything sounds legit to me from what you are describing. Any woman who is out to scam you wouldn’t likely spend the time and attention she does to keep up her communication with you. As great as everything is going just keep in mind that this is only less then 20% of your courtship. The remaining 80% will come with your first and subsequent meetings. Please keep us posted on how you progress with this.
Good Luck! GL
May 11, 2007 at 10:06 am
My own advice to Western men seeking net Russian net connections and all the scammers under every rock paranoia…
Learn the Russian culture and everything you possibly can about the dynamics of a Traditional marriage and general life, or you will trip a thousand times and may even bruise yourself right out of an exceptionally traditionally feminine girl.
Expecting to have your cake and eat it too simply will never work if you expect your Traditionally Feminine Russian girl to be a feminine version of a Western girl.
What does she do? [In her life with you.]
She’s your girl. If you either don’t fully understand or accept that; then, I strongly suggest that you may actually be happier with your Feminazi quean[spelling is correct].
She wants my money! Of course she does putz! She will likely want to be wholly dependent. How can this happen without her being wholly dependent on you and your money?
My only caveat is that the relationship has always and forever got to lead with love.
I have a huge surprise for those who actually “bought into” the Cult of Feminazi…
Your love life is going to cost you. In the Feminazi courts or in the house that Russian beauty keeps lovingly cozy, and filled with smells of food. You’ll need your energy for later on.
Lead with the love and know how to test for it, or when you pay you’ll get goose eggs, pal.
Of course it’s one hundred percent true that love can’t be bought; but you do have to pay for it.[your life together]
So, in a traditional relationship man is not provider and girl nurturer?
The love. Gotta first and always establish and grow the love.
When a Russian girl loves you, there will be signs so strong, that even a blind man could see it. And if you’re having to ask then it’s either distance paranoia or she’s just plain telling you what you want to hear so she “can try you out” until she really knows one way or the other.
May 13, 2007 at 11:25 pm
Hey everyone, thanks for the replies. I understand and agree with all that has been said.
The thing about my situation that is different, as I said earlier, is that unlike many, I never set out to find a Russian girl, and never contemplated “dating sites”.
I hang out with several Russian people reguraly, so I have learned a great deal of the language and culture. Of course the Russian girls I know here endorse other Russian girls, but maybe the opinion is biased (just joking, maybe not)
I will probably go to Russia in the later part of summer to meet some friends of my local friends, and a one of the above mentioned girls that I talk with daily has offered to meet me at the air terminal as I will probably fly alone…etc.
To tell the truth, I have met several girls through language study who exhibit similar levels of legitamcy as far as scamming is concerned, but the communication is at a lower level, but probably could be improved if work was put into it. So some “trying out” is going on on both sides. I am believe that you must meet the person first.
With that being said I will enjoy my trip regardless I hope, meeting some of my friends for the first time.
Later guys,
Thanks.
May 15, 2007 at 12:35 am
One thing I forgot to mention, is that locally I know a few Russian women (all married, some to americans, so to Russians) and they seem intent on grooming for this process lol. I just came here to get conformation from, as the website says “An American man who actually lives there”. These ladies here give me all the postitives of Russian women that are expressed here.
A side note/question about Russian girls and cheating. The Russian ladies I know here say the same thing as the site’s auther above: once they sometimes “cheat” on boyfriends (which of course is very popular in the U.S. too), but are very faithful wives. This is a relief compared to what I see in the US.
However…I hear from other sources (Mostly American women) that Russian/foreign girls are sluts/whores and just can’t be faithful. (Jealousy maybe?)
I tend to believe the people who actually have first and experience.
Any opinions?
November 18, 2007 at 6:35 am
Well here is an update:
I met one of the two girls I mentioned above, here in the US and she was just not for me, and I not for her, we both agreed on this.
But I met a new girl through a another language exchange site while studying Russian. She lives in Simferopol Ukraine and I will visit during the new year.
She never asks for money, actually sent me a birthday gift, calls (skype call forwarding, and once or twice by phone) when I not online to talk on skype. We talk there atleast an hour each day. I’ve talked with her mom, brother, and even her American Mormon Missionary friends there in Simferopol. She seems legitimately interested and I will go she her soon as I mentioned.
Her mom even insists that I stay with them in their appartment.
Does anyone have any good ideas for gifts for her family when I go?
Thanks
Chris
November 18, 2007 at 7:48 pm
Hi Chris,
When are you heading over? Thought you might want a travel companion, I’m thinking of heading over to Sevastopol around Christmas time.
-M
January 4, 2008 at 5:26 pm
Chris,
I used to be a Mormon Missionarry in Russia back in 2000. If you have talked them and the family its definitely not a scam. Hope the New Years meeting went well. Im going to Odessa and other cities in June 08. Also looking for a possible travel companion that has about a month, month and a half to meet some beautiful girls.