You are absolutely RIGHT ON THE MONEY!
Introductions, introductions… My name is Will. I am a regular ol’ guy from the states: 26yrs old, good student, better son (I hope). I’m studying law in Texas, work part-time, and have been courting a young Russian girl for the better part of a year. She is wonderful. Quite possibly an angel sent from heaven just for me…
Sorry… I digress (thoughts of her will sort of whisk me away to LaLa Land!)
Katia was born in Moscow. She moved here when she was nine, but can recall her life there like it was yesterday. Her family is remarkable. Easily the most loving, generous, hospitable, and brilliant family I have ever met – hard working and lots of fun too! I can’t even begin to think about the amazing food I have eaten, or I’ll get hungry here in my cubicle!When we first started dating, her mother asked, “Он американец?” I didn’t know it at the time, but I would have to establish myself as being worthy of courting her daughter. Apparently we Americans have somewhat of a bad reputation or stereotype? (Maybe you could elaborate on this notion?)
Well, I quickly started to learn how to speak Russian by whatever means possible. Now I can hang in most conversations (which is nice because her mother does not speak English). Ultimately I have earned the love and respect of the family, which is a very tight, elite unit.
Long story short, things are GREAT! Even though my Katia has been in the states long enough to have gotten rid of most of her accent, most of what you have written in your blog still holds true. She is beyond what I could have ever expected to find in a soul mate. I had been in and out of the dating game before we met, and none of the American girls I dated – none that I have ever met – could possibly compare to this heavenly woman.
I absolutely LOVE your blog.
Thank you for your commitment to this topic, thank you for the very eloquent words, and thank you for the wise and intelligent points made throughout. Perhaps someday when I travel there with my кисса, we can get together for some good conversation. Rock and roll, and keep up the great work!
“Beauty can save the world.”
I absolutely LOVE this quote!
p.s. I am aware of the crime, etc. If you have advice, or know of a website that I could find some tips and info about the crime (I am terribly sorry…I’ve become quite a fan of this culture and want to know as much as possible!), I would definitely appreciate it! Have you had any bad experiences with crime since you arrived in Mother Russia?
(in my best east texas accent… ahemm..)
Why..thank you most kindly for your words sir….
Here are a few things I’d like to bring up to you in return for your GREAT story..
You are a VERY LUCKY MAN and I hope you cherish that fact. HELL you found your girl in your home town and didn’t have to fly halfway around the world to get her! Good for you Cowboy!
I can sense the absolute PASSION for LIFE that this girl has given you and you deserve MUCH credit for making the effort to learn the Russian language to move yourself closer to her family.. much to the absolute endearment to “your” Katya and to her mother I’m sure.
So my only question is this?
Why are you waiting to put the ring on her finger? Just with what you’ve shared with me I already know that she’s yours to claim and that your courtship with her is very well developed.
So why don’t you do BOTH of US a BIG favor.. WILL you? (sorry couldn’t help myself)
GO GIT the ring and pull the trigger boy!. Because this AIN’T NO SHOTGUN Wedding we talking about! This is a GENUINE Factory Warranted Deal! Cause you be dealing with a 100% GENUINE RUSSIAN GIRL.. Why you be getting HITCHED to the MOST Beautiful girl in all of Harris County!
(and yes i’ve been to a few BBQ’s in your neck of the woods :))
Oh and by the way with a Russian girl.. and this is something you probably already know… but make sure you put the ring on her RIGHT HAND ring finger and not her left as is customary in their culture.. For more interesting facts I’ll probably need to do a future post on Russian Wedding traditions.. cause it will blow your mind..
Your AWESOME story about your experience with Katya’s family brings up some great wisdom that was passed on to me and was one of the keys to giving myself the green light to come here. My close friend and teacher Mr. R had a very simple thing to say about Russian cultivation and family traditions..
“We Have A Lot to Learn From Them..”
And this is coming from a man who could make James Bond look like a po boy from the swamps of Louisiana.. And I ain’t kidding!
Will Buddy.. fate seems to have struck you with a huge golden opportunity because not many men in your generation possess the incredible good fortune of having a REAL LADY who can bring forth the level of absolute CLARITY and DIRECTION that is before you.
Many good Ol’ boys like myself have had to stumble in a dark garage trying to figure out how to build a car from scratch with no instruction manuals and no help.. You good buddy have scored enough good credit with the MAN Upstairs to just walk right into Planet Ford and to drive off the lot with a cherried out Super Duty Ford F-150! Fully loaded of course…
All I can suggest to you now is to protect and grow your future with this lovely woman AND TO PASS ALONG your knowledge and good fortune to more of your buddies and kin..
You’ve already done a good job starting right here on my site! 😉
The answer to the biggest question that most of us men face is much simpler then we thought.
And this is something you understand well.. So pass it down to that big ol” picnic table down yonder..
PS Don’t worry about the crime.. just strut into town wearing your cowboy boots and a stetson.. and show these local boys how do do a REAL TEXAS BBQ and you won’t have to worry about a thing.. Oh and give me a jingle when you show up cause I haven’t had any good Texas style smoked ribs in a while! 😉
I came across your site while I was searching for information on the psychology of Russian women. Through an internet dating site, I have met a married Russian woman of 42. She says she is in a loveless marriage, has contempt for her husband – she was a “catalog bride” – She has been married to him for 9 years. He has developed physical disabilities and she tells me their physical relations “consist of a hug once a month, if even then.” She says he will be dead inside of three years. I believe all she says. She joined this internet site to find love, companionship, and sex.
We emailed and met, and she is without doubt the most exciting, sensual, intelligent and romantic woman I have ever known. I have seriously fallen for her. I am 54. Even in this brief time, we have exchanged many intimacies and have been very close. We met for the first time yesterday.
We had the most passionate sex I can remember having – and I’d had my share of girlfriends. We have become as though we are in love – we say so to each other – and I find myself wanting this woman more and more – based on what I know and can tell, I am really feeling like I want to spend the rest of my life with her. We are both classical musicians. I feel like we are indeed in love.
Can you tell me what you think of all this and offer any advice or cautions you feel are appropriate?
Thank you, I enjoyed reading your site and learned from it….
Thanks for your feedback..
If you read one of my earlier comments here. (just scroll all the way to the bottom to see it)
You will have learned that in my mind there are 2 different types of “cheating”..
Malicious sexual power cheating
Quiet Desperation cheating
(MAKE SURE you read this important story that surrounds this insight.. so click it and go to the end.)
You are really in the best position to determine which category your lady belongs too but from what you are saying I also believe it’s the later..
John I also know that life can be very funny and strange.. and that you have no idea how love will hit you over the head if it ever does. I think you already have the answer in your heart as far as this woman is concerned so.. no matter what I say to you.. you will lead to where it wants to be nourished..
The only thing I can really suggest to you is to have a back up plan in the back of your head.. a parachute for your soul in case you need to bail out.. This may sound like an unusual recommendation but I have solid reasons behind it..
If I were you I’d go to Russia on a solo trip so that you can see for yourself what is available here. This will give you time away from your lady to gain some very valuable perspective and clarity so that you can make a better decision with how you want to proceed. Even if things don’t work out between you and her.. once you come here you will have the confidence that you can find that again if you need to..
Just to be on the safe side I’d say you need a counterbalance to your heart right now.. The good news is that it’s a win win situation for you because either way you will come out a winner.
Either you come here and get a deeper appreciation for this woman’s background and culture which helps you to develop a more solid foundation with her.
You understand that there are many women over here that could fit the bill for the love that you want in your life. This may be VERY important for you given that neither you or I have any real idea if your lady is willing to be with you completely and divorce her husband.
I noticed you brought up the fact that you are both Classical Music Musicians.. One of my earliest loves in life is classical music as well.. and I never really appreciated how something so brilliant.. so moving as something like a Rachmaninoff piano concerto could come to be..
Untill I experienced a Russian winter..
If you only come to Russia for the additional enlightenment of your own musical spirit then you would be well rewarded with just this.
But I also understand very well what it means to have someone like her who has a soul anchored in the classics like you.. You two have the ability to “speak” to each other with an emotional and intellectual depth that most people in this world will never experience.
So why am I focusing on this in regards to you? Simple.. it’s because this whole country is dripping with this level of culture and arts.. It’s everywhere and I want you to know that it’s gatekeepers are both the young and old. Go to Russia and visit the local music schools and colleges that exist in every city and you will see for yourself.
Tread carefully with this one John and build yourself up with a trip over here no matter what direction your relationship takes..
Great blog you’ve got going there. I can relate to much of what you’ve been saying as I’ve been over to the former Soviet Union ( Russia twice and Ukraine 3 times ) and it definitely rings true. From your perspectives on your blog I would guess that you are a current or former poster on Niceguys site or similar?
After my last trip , to Moscow this spring , I’ve been solidifying my plans to make the move . My experience parallels yours in that I ‘ve found just getting to know a girl via meeting at her work or other place a few times — and you can go ahead and she’ll agree with making arrangements to meet you further. Sure a few will say no but there’s always lots saying yes.
One of the fun , and eye opening experiences I had , was to go into clubs and not concentrate of the dancers etc , but zero in on the servers and waitresses. Well it worked for me . But what it also told me was that I do not need any agency or hand holders , in fact I found they had their own agendas and would often interfere in mine. So bingo you nailed that one also.
It seems like you are located out in Siberia if I understood correctly. Not to raise your ire, but I did not like Novosibirsk . Just my personal preference thing. It seemed bleakscaped, I couldn’t find defining features as all the delapidated grey apartment blocks looked the same .. hardscrabble existance was my impression. I’d like to hear your opinions on this . Now I was only there briefly so I may have been located in the wrong districts for a favourable impression.
Anyways, more to the point, ( finally .. LOL ) , my plan is to assemble my assets by mid-2007 to go over. Now if these assets and other investments continue to appreciate then I really won’t need to work just enjoy and meet and have a good time. But I would like to be more secure in finding good investments for a portion of my funds .. some sort of business I could work at to ensure it’s successful by my own hands on . I am of course hypersensitive to being ripped off by scams , faux bureacracies, loser investments etc. Do you have any ideas along this angle? > please note there is no “Sucker here ” banner metaphorically on my forehead when dealing with Russians.
Attached is a Polish-Russian girl I met on my last trip to Moscow. She’s without her makeup on after we had just had a bath together after some “fun”. With her makeup on it highlights these incredible smiling eyes. Ah, it was good to just have her tear into me and me into her .. for hours. It was sweet , she was sweet. Damn I’m rambling ..
Hi Kevin!You know I’m reminded of something very interesting that I’ve noticed while I was reading your email..
I have NEVER met a man who has only been to Russia once..
You have been here 2 times yourself and are coming back for more? Boy I’m sure any guy who has been here could relate to that!
So you are thinking about biting the bullet and making the big jump on a more permanent basis? Gee I CAN’T POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND why you would want to do that now can I? 😉
All I can say Kevin is DO IT MAN! Your life as a man is about to be kicked into warp drive.. and you will discover many hidden abilities that you probably don’t even know about yet. You already mentioned a little of this with your comment about not needing an agency to hold your hand at this point because you are more of an experienced hand now.. Obviously that’s only the start for you..
I don’t know how old you are but right off the bat I can tell you that coming here is like jumping into a fountain of youth. There is nothing more re-vitalizing and life affirming as to be surrounded by young and beautiful Russian girls all shyly giggling away because you are a foreigner and a novelty in their country. Truly the stuff of life… eh?
As far as thinking that Siberia is depressing because of your time in Novosibirsk.. Well why haven’t you written to me about going to Disneyland instead? Pretty happy place from how I remember it.. You could ALWAYS go there instead and it’s MUCH closer to you to I’m sure! Do you really need me to keep busting your balls on this? 😉 Good.. I didn’t think so..
As far as business opportunities over here are concerned.. Where do you want to start dude? There is an American man who moved to Novosibirsk 10 years ago who is a local legend over there. Why? Because he arrived with only 10,000 dollars to survive off of and parlayed that into a significant multi-million dollar empire of retail stores and food outlets. Wow… to be a rich American guy “roughing it” and “living off the land” in Russia.. This guy’s my HERO!
In any-case what you can or can’t do in Russia depends to a MUCH higher degree on who you are close with as opposed to in the States or other Western countries.. In other words.. Bureaucracies? sure.. does it matter if you are close to the right people.. Nope..
Now you already know that you will attract attention here as an American so there is a high probability that you will at some point meet key people.. You just need to be super aware and careful as to what type of attention you want to attract. I’ve always taken the 24 hour ambassador attitude.. Whether I want to or not.. I represent the US in the eyes, ears and minds of everyone I meet. This can be wearing at times but it’s important that you or any other guy for that matter has this attitude. There’s no communication network faster in the world then a Russian rumor mill… and quite frankly you DON’T want to be on the wrong side of this opinion desk!
Let’s just hope that you along with any other guy who comes here knows how to harness this for the general benefit of yourself, your own country, and for the people of Mother Russia as well.
Good Luck Man!
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