Lately I’ve been helping a beautiful lady I know to improve her English since she’s getting ready for a major trip to New York and Florida in 2 months.
Since she’s never been to the US I often find myself answering her questions about American culture and how American’s interact with each other.
Invariably one of the first things I explained to her was how expressive Americans are with the way we speak. I told her that you will ALWAYS KNOW how American’s feel about any given subject because of how expressive our body language, facial expressions and tonality are..
Or in other words..
America is the only culture in the world that could take a formal.. “How do you do?”
And morph it into..
When I said this she just let out this incredibly huge smile and wonderful uplifting laugh..
But then she did something that I’ve noticed time and time again with many other Russian Women..
She quickly buried it..
Or at least she was struggling hard to put a lid on it even if her flushed cheeks wouldn’t completely let her get away with it.
Of course when I encounter something like this it just reminds me to make a continued effort to understand her.. And what I’ve discovered so far get’s pretty deep into one of the major differences between our two cultures…
On the surface one of the most important things you need to understand about a traditional Russian Woman is this..
Displaying a sense of dignity means EVERYTHING to them.
(But as we will see.. there is more to this then meets the eye)
Now obviously anyone can go completely overboard with this whole dignity routine but in general women carrying themselves in this manner is a very good thing.
It’s no secret that when Men like me are around dignified Women like this that it truly nourishes our Souls. Sometimes Women like this come off as being shy and this is still a very pleasant thing to be around.
And as you can imagine this is direct contrast to the many obnoxious ones that we experience on a regular basis in the US.
You know.. the one’s who carry the.. “I’m gonna give you a piece of my mind” attitude like a chip on their shoulder.
So I started to think a long time ago that..
A Russian Woman’s sense of dignity was actually a larger part of her Grace and Femininity.
And if that’s an accurate description then I’m NOT about to start cutting into that now aren’t I?
But as with all things in life there are some minor trade-offs to contend with..
And for this particular lady and for many others like her..
Her ingrained sense of dignity comes at the expense of not allowing for a wider bandwidth of emotions and expressions that we are so accustomed to in the West.
Now on one hand this is what makes many Russian Woman seem like they could easily be the next James Bond Girl with the air of mystery that hovers around them.
But on the other hand sometimes you really do wish that for once you could get a girl rolling on the ground with something funny you’ve said.
(I’ve certainly done it before.. it does takes some work and a willingness to clown around a bit.. but it’s certainly worth it.)
So being the detective when it comes to understanding these Marvelous Women.. I decided to ask one of my very enlightened lady friends named Sonya as to why Russian Women are so often afraid to show their emotions in public company.
I was expecting Sonya’s answer to be based on my existing assumptions related to a Russian Woman’s cultural upbringing and expectations.. etc. etc.
But what she said completely surprised me..
“We are afraid to show our feelings to Men because we are afraid that they will reject us..”
Say WHAT?” I replied..
“It’s true..” She continued…
“Because If we don’t show our inner world to a Man then we don’t have to worry about getting hurt especially if he sees who we really are and doesn’t like us… When we allow ourselves to laugh or smile we are starting to show who we truly are to him and that is very scary for many Russian Girls..”
What Sonya told me was all starting to make sense given what I already knew about the demographics and the constant risk of rejection that these women face.. It also made sense to me why in some cases Foreign Men who came over to court Russian Girls sometimes encountered women who lacked emotions and were perceived as cold.
I could realize how easy it would be for any of these Women to assume that all Men were the same in ultimately wanting to hurt them no matter what part of the world they came from.
So does this mean that Russian Women are incapable of projecting deep emotions towards a Man?
Of course not..
It simply means that her acceptance and trust towards you may take a longer time then what you are accustomed to and that you may need to show more patience and gentle persistence in order to gain her trust… and ultimately her love..
But when you finally reach this point with the right Woman..
You will realize that it was certainly well worth the effort..
Because in life there’s nothing quite as rewarding as the warmth you feel when you are able to give a beautiful women like this..
The Genuine Gift of Laughter.