There is an age old stereotype that says that a Man should not get seriously involved with a Woman who already has children.
Although this is prevalent in both the US and Russia.. as with most things between these two countries we are dealing with VERY different things.
In the US both Men and Women will evaluate romantic partners along with the perceived “liabilities” that each one brings to the table from past relationships. The issue of children is first and foremost in both partners mind as it rightfully should be.
In the US and in the West the “impact” that a Woman’s children has on a relationship can range from significant to huge. This is primarily because there are far greater levels of expectation for the new partners to also take on added responsibilities for these children.
But in Russia it’s a completely different issue..
The level of responsibility taken on by Russian Women is an order of magnitude greater then it is with Women in the West.
Or in other words..
The Father’s don’t usually do squat to take care of their kids in comparison to their Mothers.
Nor are the Father’s really expected to..
Now please don’t read into this the wrong way. I’m NOT advocating that Men should be detached from the raising of children.. Quite frankly Men have much to gain by doing everything they can to play their natural role as strong and loving fathers.
However what I am reporting to you is that having a relationship with a Russian Woman with children is typically a whole different ballgame then what you’d probably expect.
It’s a ballgame with a number of distinct advantages as well. Advantages such as…
For starters you are dealing with a woman who totally understands what real responsibility in life is all about and what daily routines are needed to maintain it. What this means for you as a Man is that you have a Woman who FULLY knows what it means to be a traditional and well adjusted wife. This is a great way to go for many Men who choose Russian Women with children because there is a much shorter adjustment period in understanding each other.
On her part no confusion or ambiguity exists as far as traditional gender roles are concerned. There is simply a Woman who is more then ready to be your loving wife as long as you can fully support her role as a loving mother.
This is something that I’ve talked about previously but it’s worth bringing up again in this context.
High levels of mutual loving Gratitude towards each other is a very special feeling. It’s real, lasting and being on the receiving end of this type of love just completely elevates you as a Man. I personally believe that the number one indicator of success in any relationship between Men and Women is dependent on the level of gratitude they have towards each other.
If Gratitude exists then all other potential relationship issues can be dealt with in a smooth and orderly fashion. This is because the very nature of Gratitude is driven by the understanding that both of you understand how lucky you are in having each other. And in comparison to this.. all other concerns may seem trivial.. and they should be.
The mere fact that you Men are reading this indicates that you are intimately aware of how difficult it is to find a real and loving spouse in today’s world.
So guess what?
The exact same situation exists with these women especially if they’re divorced with children and have extremely limited options in this harsh society for a 2nd marriage. In many ways you are both in the same boat and I’m sure you will appreciate this fact when you start making sincere and warm overtures towards each other.
In the past I’ve talked about the natural evolutionary desires that Older Men have towards Younger Women. These physical desires are real and they will always be around. However there is another desire that is just as real and perhaps even more relevant.
And that is the desire to be “Understood”.
(Now keep in mind that when I talk about being “Understood” I am not just talking about having a great conversation. I’m also talking about the Emotional, Physical, and Sexual Communication side of this as well. The type of communication that exists through a Woman’s Loving Touch. The magic of having her sitting with you in the back of a taxi and instinctively putting her head against your chest.. or the magic that occurs when she comes up behind you while you are working and starts to caress your shoulders.)
If Understanding exists between 2 people then true appreciation naturally follows. If you are a Man who has been through a divorce and you also have children then your life is fundamentally different from that of a younger Man who has yet to be married. The emotional and physical requirements you have are inherently more advanced and a significantly younger woman will certainly not “understand” this immediately and it may take a long time for her to get up to speed.
But make sure you keep this in mind if you decide to go this route with a younger woman.
There are NO Guarantee that this adjustment on her part will happen.
When you deal with a Woman who more closely matches your maturity because of her own status as a mother you will have a much higher likelyhood of emotional and physical compatibility from the start. It is something that you will immediately sense with her or not.. And knowing this right away is a very good thing.
In the past when I was was chasing women and playing my “game” I always had a little voice in the back of my head that was asking..
“How do you know she really likes you… if you are the only one doing the pursuing?”
Unfortunately at that time the “game of pursuit” was the priority.. so I neither had the time nor the inclination to really pay attention to this bigger picture. This is because anytime you play this game it’s only about the “image” you are showing off to the girl as opposed to the real man she can really see you as.
I’ve come to understand that finding a Woman’s real intentions is simply evaluated by how much she is willing to “carry the football” while you are dating and getting to know each other. Is she asking the right questions of you? Is she projecting positive energy towards you? Is she enthusiastic when she’s with you? Does she return your phone calls? Does she show concern?
Or in other words.. Is she willing to also carry the load and also take co-ownership over the courtship that you are supposed to be SHARING?
When you are dealing with Russian Mothers you are dealing with women who are NOT into any games. They see this for the shallow activity that it is because this society is filled with guys who are out looking for an easy time without commitment. Instead you are dealing with a Woman who has serious intent and she will readily show it to you without hesitation if you are the right man who’s willing to show it to her as well.
If you’ve read my earlier post about what is a Genuine Russian Woman you will understand that to see a Russian Mother in action is to behold something truly wonderful. If you want to know what level of patience and love a Russian Woman is capable of for you as a Man then all you need to do is to watch her around her children.
There are times I swore I could’ve fallen in love with a number of Russian Women on the spot just by watching the way they lovingly interacted with their children.. and other children as well.
Guys the results of this attention are truly astounding.
The vast majority of children that I have seen under their mother’s wing are completely content and happy. If a child got out of line and needed to be corrected then you would usually see their mother just quietly say something to them.. and this was all that was required. It’s was like an invisible magic wand casting a calming spell on their young.
In any case..
If and when you are ready to come to Russia to pursue a relationship I would seriously evaluate what I’ve said here with this post. I hope that you are able to use this to clear away the ambiguity that will always exist when you are searching for a woman to build your life with.
And obviously the less ambiguity you have about your future while you are here the better.
Russia can be a very perplexing place and finding real intent in a limited amount of time that you can actually bank on is a very valuable commodity.
If we were to use this intent as a measure of a Woman’s real value towards you..
Then you will find that Russian Mother’s are indeed quite wealthy beyond compare..