A few days ago I received an email from a friend out of Southern California.
Let’s call him Jim.
Jim was one of the first guys I ever knew who had enough guts to travel to Russia to look for a wife.
His email was a refreshing reminder of something that is a hot topic in this blog… and that is simply how realistic it is for any Man to have a wife who is significantly younger then him.
But before we talk about what was in his email..
Let’s talk a little about his adventure in Russia first..
Jim is a successful man in his mid 40’s and had been in and out of the singles scene with the “California Girls” that were supposed to offer him a slice of heaven but delivered dating hell instead.
Somewhere along the way he got wise to his situation and realized that he needed to seriously “expand his horizons”.
Luckily for him..
When Jim first arrived in Siberia over 3 years ago he basically experienced the closest thing to Love at First site that I had ever heard of.
Because after dealing with a long series of frustrating dates with a woman who clearly wasn’t right for him he was ready to give up and go home. He was in the process of making arrangements to go home early when he walked into my friend’s office and saw a young lady who just immediately floored him with her shy beauty and gentle energy.
Let’s call her Helen.
Helen was a 20 year old brunette originally from Kazakhstan with long legs, a slender frame, piercing eyes with a face that could launch a thousand ships..
Jim’s assumptions of Russian Women based on his previous bad dates was just about to get thrown out the window.
Along with his early departure plans..
While the previous girl he dated kept Jim hanging on a thread and certainly had a more materialistic agenda..
Helen clearly only wanted to find true love.
And from the little that I know about her past and of her family history..
I can certainly understand why she placed everything on the line especially her heart and soul towards realizing this dream..
And when this chance encounter with Jim took place.. this particular day was about to become the luckiest day of her life..
Because Jim was completely ready to help her realize her fondest dream..
Shakespeare probably could have been quoted to describe this moment as the butterfly’s fluttered in and out of them..
And as two shy hello’s led to two glowing gazes..
The hand fit the glove..
The rightful king just pulled the sword out of the stone..
And a proposal was made and accepted within days..
Jim still had to return home but he would be back as soon as he could to claim his bride.
And to claim his future..
I remember seeing Jim around this time..
He was a mild mannered man with a mild mannered appearance..
Typical for what you’d expect for a middle aged man..
But from that moment on something must have “clicked” inside of him.
I personally think that he realized the awesome responsibility he was about to take on along with the equally awesome opportunity he was going to have for a great life.
And I’m sure he wanted this new joyous ride to last for a very very long time..
Fast forward about a year later..
Jim is on his 3rd visit to Russia and although he is now married to Helen he is still waiting on the Immigration restrictions that came with 9-11 to clear everything so that he can bring her home..
I get a surprise call from him and the 3 of us decide to meet in a popular local pub..
When I walked into the joint.. the man who was staring me in the face and greeting me was not the same mild mannered middle aged chap that I had known before..
Because the man sitting in front of me now could have passed for a professional athlete.
Muscular, lean, tanned with a completely different image to match..
Think of a taller version of Sylvester Stallone with a muscle shirt and a black beret on his head and you will get the idea.
Wow Jim.. What the HELL Happened to you!
Oh I just decided that I needed to start working out a bit.. Helen is so much younger then me and I knew it would be important for me to keep up with her in the long run..
Helen was just smiling away and listening.
It was clear that she was also happy about all of this..
But here’s the interesting point with what I observed..
She wasn’t necessarily happy about his chiseled new looks..
She was more happy that HE Was Happy with creating his new look.. for her.
Once this realization hit me I remembered a classic short story by O’ Henry called “The Gift of the Magi”.
A deeply in love but young and poor couple both sacrifice something that they each treasure in exchange for some money to buy Christmas presents for each other.
The man sells his treasured time piece to buy a brush for his girl since she has very long and beautiful hair..
While the girl cuts her hair and sells it to a wig maker to buy a jewelry chain for her man’s watch..
You see.. Jim wanted to sacrifice his old lifestyle to create a new vibrant Man for his wife.
On the other hand Helen sacrificed the usual expectations any typical Western Woman would have on trying to “change” her husband.
And this created a natural and loving bond where they both wanted to give their best to each other unconditionally.
I knew right then that in-spite of any differences that Jim and Helen may have had between them age wise..
Their marriage was going to work out just fine..
They are simply blesssed with a high level of gratitude that they hold for each other.
So remember Jim’s email that I mentioned at the start?
It was basically a simple hello and a confirmation of the great joy and happiness he was having with a woman that was over 20 years younger along with the fact that their relationship was going strong.
Jim also mentioned that they were taking their latest adventure by driving up to San Francisco for the first time.
So whenever I hear accusations from what I consider to be jealous Feminists arguing against the viability of such love..
I just think of Jim in his classic little 2 seater sports coupe driving along the beautiful California coast line with Helen besides him..
And I’m sure they were both just smiling all the way to Frisco..