I have to admit that getting engaged to an Incredible Woman really helps you to gain some perspective.
Your view of the world noticeably changes and you start to recognize more of..
What’s REAL in life..
..and Whats NOT.
Let me explain.
The other day I was having lunch at one of my favorite places and had the opportunity to flip through a luxury car magazine that was lying on the table.
I can certainly appreciate the latest and greatest when it comes to Engineering, Design and Style. This is especially so with any number of cars that retails at sixty thousand dollars or more.
Now you would think that this “appreciation to automotive detail” is the central message that all car manufacturers want to convey to you.
However upon closer inspection of these advertisements I began to think that being wowed by “German Engineering” or “Japanese Design” was NOT really what these marketing pitches were all about.
Because although my eyes are always drawn to the sleek and shiny looking machines that are meticulously displayed in these photos..
I always catch myself taking a closer look at the sleek and sexy women who always seem to be hovering in these ads as well..
Now it’s obvious that using sex to sell a product is as old as time itself and that the “hidden” message for the any potential buyer is quite clear…
Get this AWESOME Car if you want to get an AWESOME Girl..
(..and with your good credit you can take me/us home now!)
Now when this message reveals itself in all of it’s blunt and crass glory..
I openly wonder if this type of “bait” has really ever been successful for any man in the long term to begin with.
I mean think about it..
- What kind of “Quality” Girl would any man end up with if this were the case?
- What kind of “Man” would knowingly realize this game but STILL use this method as a means to find Women?
Ok so let’s give any Guy the benefit of a doubt and let’s pretend that he isn’t getting a hot car for the girls but really wants to have a great driving experience instead.
Now don’t get me wrong..
I’m the kind of Guy who likes a good driving experience just like anyone else and I’ve had plenty of great experiences behind the wheel of some real high performance beauties.
But at the end of the day no matter how much any of us “Love our Ride”..
A Car is not something you can SLEEP with..
Nor were we meant to sleep with any of the millions of other products that also have beautiful girls pitching them too..
Now again I like high quality products just like any other Guy.
But no matter how memorable any of these products are..
How can the experience of using any product ever compete with the experience of falling in Love with a Beautiful Woman.
And this leads me to my next point..
For most of us getting to the point where we can actually experience Real Love is…
H A R D
Yup.. Really HARD..
Because on one hand..
We instinctively know that discovering Real Love is a singular event in our existence which has no parallel..
But on the other hand..
We also know that the absence of Love in our lives can manifest itself in the most painful of ways from a life of loneliness to spiritual starvation, decay or even death.
So because the challenge of finding Love is sooo GREAT…
And the risk of NOT finding Love is also sooo GREAT..
Many people try to leverage this risk by adopting a materialistic lifestyle in order to complete the DENIAL and to avoid the harsh reality of how tough finding Love truly is..
This is because in the absence of Love it is so tempting for many people to try to fill in the emptiness they feel with the material things in life along with all the status or ego they believe it will provide for them.
So many Guys (and of course women too) act like vulnerable little sea crabs without a shell to hide in. I’m reminded of this because I can easily see how desperate they are to try to cover up their emotional nakedness with STUFF.
- They believe that more STUFF leads to better “Self-Esteem”.
- They believe that people are actually impressed by the STUFF they show off.
- And they hope that if they show off enough STUFF somebody will actually come along and “Love” them for it.
Now we’ve all gone through this phase to various degrees but what we need to understand is that instead of moving people closer towards the ultimate goal of finding love..
This belief actually pushes them much farther away.
I imagine that it’s a little like spending all your money on different health insurance policies and then not having enough left over to feed, clothes or even shelter yourself with.
Adopting a materialistic lifestyle doesn’t bring a Man closer to having a Real Loving Woman by his side.
It only makes it that much HARDER to do.
- Harder because any QUALITY Women in Russia can sense a Man like this a mile away and will run like hell from him. (They will do this because they don’t want to end up as just another commodity trophy on his bookshelf quickly gathering dust.)
- Harder because the only girls a Man like this will attract are the whores who are only looking for a “free meal ticket” or a “good time”. These women will only push him to acquire MORE STUFF for them.. And as soon as he stops (they both know that) he will be tossed out like yesterday’s trash.
- Harder because the more a Man engages in a Material Lifestyle the more he commits his IDENTITY to it. And it becomes that much harder for him to find the courage or fortitude to ever change it no matter how much it fails him..
So can you say Vicious Cycle?
Or to put it more bluntly..
If I were to address such a Gentleman with such an attitude I would simply tell him..
“Good Luck Buddy.. You’re going to need LOTS of it..”
So if we understand that finding Love is VERY HARD what’s the Solution to all of this?
Well I believe the Secret Formula behind any solution is..
Your Belief + the Actions you combine with it.
Before we get into that let’s start with any Negative Beliefs that need to be DROPPED first.
- Drop any belief that finding Love depends on random chance or good luck.
- Drop any belief that finding Love can be achieved like a leisurely pastime. (This is because the Man upstairs doesn’t deliver take out Soul Mates while any of us are sitting on our ass watching TV commercials and thinking about the next cool STUFF we can buy for ourselves.)
- But most of all.. Drop any belief that you CAN’T Have REAL Love.
Now Let’s talk about the Positive Beliefs to PICKUP.
- Successfully finding Love depends on how emotionally and spiritually prepared you are to have it.. (ie Honesty & Humility)
- Successfully finding Love depends on positioning yourself properly with your Attitude and your Location.
- But most of all.. Successfully finding Love depends on HARD Work.
And Hard Work is simply the “Action” side to this Secret Formula.
No one should ever doubt how much work is involved in trying to find Love half way around the world as opposed to your own neighborhood.
(But then again no one should ever doubt that this is the best way to go either..)
When I look back at all the things I needed to do before I was able to have such a True and Loving Woman in my life..
I realize that there was a helluva lot of learning, patience and effort involved.
And I also realized that this process is really no different then deciding to go out and build your own home from scratch.
This is because the ATTITUDE you start with from the very beginning determines if you are building your foundation on something solid like Granite..
..or on Quicksand.
And unfortunately I have seen many guys who seem to think that building on Quicksand is actually a “good” shortcut to use..
It’s “good” alright..
But I’m sure it’s not “good” in the way these guys were expecting.
(stay tuned for part 2)