Growing up in the US I have vivid memories of being brought up in a culture just filled with serious talkers.
At times it just seemed like everyone was trying very hard.. often too hard.. to be their own Marketing or PR agent.
Now of course I know that in our freemarket system of living and doing business it’s often imperative to represent these titles in order to get ahead. But I believe that something important got lost in translation especially when it came to how American Men and Women communicate to each other.
No where does this deficit seem to be so obvious as to when I listen to the general population of American Women talking.
Part of me wants to be just outright cynical and characterize it as just a bunch of blah blah blah..
But this post deserves a better explanation so I will state that the biggest problem I have is with the actual VOLUME (both in word count and decibel level) and the often unpleasant egotistical ATTITIDE that many of these women “try” to “express” themselves with.
Now if you are from the US and you’ve never been to Russia or the FSU it would be easy to think that this style of “womanly” banter is just the natural state of affairs for the female species. However once you arrive here you will begin to notice that the local beauties walking around here have a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT way of carrying themselves both appearance and conversation wise.
One of the first things I noticed was how cautious Russian Women were with the way they communicated in general.
Initially I thought this was because of some type of cultural or historical political repression that had been going on in this part of the world for hundreds of years. And to a small degree yes this tradition of public caution still remains.
I later discovered a much most relevant reason as to why this style of soft spoken and mild mannered communication is so prevalent among these Ladies.
Russian Women actually mean what they say and will go to extraordinary lengths to NOT misrepresent themselves.
Or in other words..
The vast majority of Russian Women will NEVER BS you.
In the years I’ve lived here I can safely say the following.
If a Russian Woman says she will do something.. then that is considered a promise that most of you can put money in the bank on.
If a Russian Woman shares with you part of her identity on a professional or personal level then that is EXACTLY who she is.
Let me give you a small example of this.
If you are talking to a stunningly beautiful Russian Woman and you honestly feel that she looks like a model and you tell her this.. then 9 times out of 10 this woman will ADAMENTLY tell you that she is NOT a model no matter how much you try to convince her otherwise.
(Of course the lone exception to this rule is if you really are talking to a Russian Model.)
Now try to compare this response to how an American or Western Woman would respond to the same compliment.
Do you frequently encounter a response that reminds you of an entitlement queen who believes that the modeling agencies of the world are making a huge mistake by not discovering her as the next catwalk star?
Are you starting to get the idea here?
Now in order for me to discover these refreshingly modest characteristics about Russian Women I had to completely change the method I was brought up with on how to really listen to someone.
When I’m in the States I feel like I have to turn the sensitivity dial in my ears way down in order to deal with the frequent level of irritating noise coming in. You could imagine that my noise filter is set to max in this environment in order to deal with the noisy static in the air at any given time.
However in Russia and the FSU it’s just the exact opposite.
When you are enjoying the company of a Real Russian Lady you have to throw away the noise filter I mentioned and replace it with a good amplifier instead. Even with the volume turned up to max you still have to listen VERY carefully to every word that she is saying to you.
By the way.
Don’t be surprised if she is naturally coy or reserved and often defers to you to talk about your life.
Trust me on this guys.. but there’s a very good reason as to why she does this from her perspective.
She ALSO has a audiophile class amplifier, a high gain studio microphone and a high def video camera rolling in her brain and she uses it to analyze everything you do and say.
Or in other words..
The CIA and FBI would be envious of the mental file that this lady could compile on you in very short order.
A Traditional Russian Girl has a very important motive for this.
She’s not out to do your laundry..
She’s simply wants to know if you as a Man are the “Real Deal”.
She is most likely saying to herself..
“I think I’m a good girl and I’ve sacrificed and worked hard to be who I am.. so does this man sitting across the table deserve to have me?”
And Gentlemen this is a very good question for you to honestly answer from her perspective. Because obviously the more “positive responses” you can DEMONSTRATE (and not necessarily speak) for her “secret question” the more of a match she will know you are for her.
Naturally a Russian Women will assume that you will listen to her just as carefully as she listens to you.
So if you want to have any chance of making a favorable impression on her then make sure you at least make an honest attempt to do this.
Turn the sensitivity up on your own microphone and start rolling the high resolution video camera in your eyes too.
Just simply assume that everything she says has some type of deeper meaning.
I’m telling you this because almost everything she says DOES INDEED have a deeper meaning.
It could be something as simple as a one word answer..
Or it could be no verbal answer at all..
Just a look of curiosity or a beautiful smile.
But trust me on this.. whatever her response..
It carries SERIOUS WEIGHT in one form or another.
If you Gentlemen can understand this concept when communicating to a traditional Russian Woman then you will be far ahead of the curve in understanding a big part of who she is.
But most importantly she will let you know in her own special way..
Just how much she appreciates you for it.