Ok go ahead and read this article first and then check out my commentary below.
Why Russia’s wealthier women are still reluctant to go Dutch
By Shaun Walker in Moscow
Wednesday, 2 July 2008
Billboards across Moscow advertising a women’s magazine are raising female consciousness by asking Russia’s fairer sex: “Are you ready to pay half to be independent?”
It’s a question with increasing relevance because growing numbers of young Russian women are moving into management positions, earning good salaries and boosting their spending power. But for most, the answer to the question for now is still a resounding “no”.
“When you go out with a guy, even if you’re just friends and there’s no romantic subtext, you would always expect him to pay,” says Svetlana Kolchik, deputy editor of Russia’s Marie Claire, which paid for the adverts. “When I discuss dates with my girlfriends, one of the first questions is ‘Did he pay for you?’ If he did, it’s always a good sign.”
Many Russians say the country’s dating culture is more traditional and romantic than in the West, and a large part of that involves the idea that the man should pay for everything and shower his date with gifts.
The extravagant jewellery, furs and cars that oligarchs dole out to their women are the stuff of legend but the philosophy – if not the scale – is the same among ordinary Russians.
“I find Russian women to be a bit like Tamagotchi,” says one British expatriate who moved to Moscow a year ago and has enjoyed playing Casanova in the city. “You have to keep feeding them with meals out, little gifts, and so on, to keep them happy.”
At the end of any romantic dinner in Moscow, the waiter will automatically hand the bill to the man, and even if the woman wants to pay, it can be a problem. Olga, a 24-year-old journalist, explains that many of her friends keep their wallets in their handbags not out of stinginess but for the sake of their boyfriends’ pride. “With all the provincial beauties in town, there are 20 women for each decent man. If you get a decent man, you better keep him. So they don’t reach for their wallets so the man doesn’t feel uncomfortable when other people look at him like he can’t pay for dinner.”
Olga earns a good wage, and says she sometimes gets round that by giving her boyfriend money before the meal so that his sense of pride won’t be dented when it comes to paying.
Other young professional women report that some of their friends are beginning to change and don’t like the idea of never contributing financially. But many Russian women would not even consider dating a man who earned less money than them. “I would not feel safe,” says Oxana, a 28-year-old marketing manager, reflecting on the prospect of having a pauper for a boyfriend.
All of that raises the question of what exactly it is that wealthy Russian women do spend their money on.
“We have a very consumerist attitude so will still spend money on a Max Mara coat or Armani suit,” says Ms Kolchik. “Women spend most of their money on looking beautiful for their man; and in fact, for all men. Even if we’re happily married, it’s in our genes to compete for men and male attention.”
(click here to read the original article)
Now I don’t think this article fairly represents Russian Women the way I know them.
First off when it comes to dating Russian or FSU Women the KEY THING that any Man needs to realize is that you are being offered a UNIQUE opportunity to show your leadership in a budding relationship by TAKING RESPONSIBILITY for the date.
TAKING RESPONSIBILITY in any dating situation at the very MINIMUM means PAYING FOR THE BILL.
If you neglect to do this then you have FAILED a major test in the eyes of a Russian Lady.. And honestly you will probably not get another opportunity to correct yourself.
A Russian Woman will think of it in these terms..
“If he can’t TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for a simple cafe bill how can he possibly TAKE RESPONSIBILITY for me or our future children?”
Any Man who dates a Russian or FSU Lady should always consider paying the bill as a code of honor. And this is especially true even if your date “courteously offers” to contribute.
Keep this in mind even if you are out socializing with a lady friend with whom you don’t intend to have a romantic relationship with.
It’s still important to TAKE RESPONSIBILITY in this situation because all Women Talk..
And having a Russian Lady who is a good friend is the greatest way to gain a future endorsement from one Russian “sister” to another.
Think of it in these terms..
When a Russian Lady “allows” you to pay the bill..
She’s opening the door for you to take the next step and to come in on a deeper level.
So PLEASE DON’T think like some un-enlightened liberal or feminist indoctrinated weenie and blow it by having this door slam shut.
Unfortunately this article’s author comes off as one of the above simply because the article seems to imply that “going dutch” is the “fair and equal” thing to do given that many Russian Women (in Moscow) are starting to earn good salaries.
So now that we understand WHY this attitude is complete Hogwash let’s move on to the next subject..
The second problem I have with this article is that it makes all Russian Women sound like they are overtly materialistic by nature and constantly expect “extravagant” gifts from their suitors by default.
Again this is simply not the case for the vast majority of traditional Russian Girls I’ve known.
And they certainly DON’T need to be expensive..
But they should be MEANINGFUL.
So keep the above recommendations in mind..
Because it’s the least you can do for a Traditional Russian Woman that you are dating.
This is because you will find that over time (and if you are worthy) she’s going to give you everything that she’s got.
And the final line from this article is something that I couldn’t agree more with because it clearly emphasizes this point.
“(Russian) Women spend most of their money on looking beautiful for their man; and in fact, for all men. Even if we’re happily married, it’s in our genes to compete for men and male attention.”