Patriarch Kirill is a piviotal religious figure in Russia since he is one of the Leaders of the Russian Orthodox Church.
His words carry a great deal of weight and I believe he’s trying to further endorse the critical role that Russian Women play in keeping the social and cultural fabric of this country intact.
I have been to various Russian Villages as he has and I can also validate the strength and fortitude these women have in keeping their households and communities together inspite of often overwhelming struggles and hardships.
I’m really glad that he made the following statements and brought more attention to these everyday heroines.
Moscow, May 25, Interfax
Patriarch Kirill of Moscow and All Russia considers women the stronger sex, as they have proved to be more psychologically sturdy in Russia’s tough environment.
“Men happen to be frailer.
The upheavals of 1990s caused many of them to break down, but women had more vigor to endure the stress,” Patriarch said at a meeting with a youth audience of five thousand people at the Izmaylovo sport complex.
Answering their questions, he mentioned sport achievements as an example of women’s courage: “women win our country most of Russia’s gold medals in sport.” These Patriarch’s words have received a stormy ovation.
“An individual comprises both spirit and body, and human strength depends not only on its physical component. In this regard, women are the stronger sex,” Patriarch Kirill said.
He mentioned that he had to travel a lot around Russia. “Almost every village has some kind of an amateur talent group. Who sings in a choir? Women do, and sometimes they are accompanies by a drunk accordionist,” Patriarch said.
According to him, the same is true for many village schools, libraries, post offices, local administration where women have to play the lead.
(you can read the original article here)
June 10, 2009 at 12:45 am
In the first photo, I think Miss Lera is dreaming about all the fine men on this blog. Judging by the smile in the second photo, GL must have cracked a joke.
That’s an interesting looking wall in the background. I believe I could sit around that place and talk to Lera and the girls for hours.
June 10, 2009 at 12:49 am
Do you think the ability to tolerate hardship is more nature or nurture, GL? I have read a dozen or more articles that speak of the indomitable spirit of Russian females, so it is definitely a trait that is well recognized.
June 10, 2009 at 1:17 am
Hi Sam,
I’m a firm believer that nurture triggers inherent genetic traits that already exist within certain people like Russian Women for example.
So to answer your question I believe that the both nature and nurture are both closely tied inseparably in a symbiotic relationship.
A deeper question for me is this.
I wonder what American Women were like in starting from the early 1900’s to the 40’s.
This was the time of the “Greatest Generation” in American History and I would be very interested to know how that reflected in our country’s women during that time.
I know what they were like in the 70’s and within 1 generation to the modern day there are huge differences with what I’ve seen now and for the most part those changes have not been positive.
Perhaps the cultural fortitude and femininity that we see in many Russian Women today represents an older version of AW that no longer readily exists.
And if thats the case then Russian Women are that much more precious in the eyes of Men like myself.
GL
June 10, 2009 at 1:41 am
I think it’s definitely possible that back in the day western women were, not exactly like Russian women, but did have some of the fortitude. We had two World Wars and before that there was the US Civil War, and women held up throughout them … If you look at pictures of women from the time they are, perhaps not what we’d call “hot” or fashionable today, but a lot more groomed and feminine-looking than their modern equivalents.
June 10, 2009 at 2:16 am
I understand what you are saying Sophie. However, bear in mind that the style (clothes and hair) was different back then. Alot of the black and white actress would probably look better looking to us if they wore todays style. I am sure women such as Maureen O’Sullivan
or Anita Page would be considered good looking http://www.moviemaidens.com/photos/full/2-1033-Page02.jpg
There are still a good amount of people who consider the young Elizabeth Taylor (during the 1950’s) as a model of beauty.
A young Barbara Feldon (agent 99 from the tv show Get Smart)would no doubt still be considered good looking.
Also, remeber now days women on screen get surgery and women in photographs are now brushed up on computer.
June 10, 2009 at 3:29 am
That’s what I meant – they were beautiful, they just didn’t look like the styles of today. The pop culture image of an attractive woman seems to be the perma-tanned blonde with silicone, which wasn’t the case back then. Gina Lollobrigida is still one of my personal favourites … or Rita Hayworth 😉
June 10, 2009 at 1:57 am
Hi Sophie,
I agree. I think it’s very possible as well that our American Women had much more depth and fortitude then they do now.
And here’s the kicker.. according to various research on women from 2 to 3 generations ago.
They were also much more happier with their lives.
GL
June 10, 2009 at 2:26 am
Amen to that, GL, amen to that.
And you’ve posted two more pictures of one of my favorite ladies from this site! Her name is Lera?
September 28, 2009 at 3:53 pm
Where are the others ? she is so beautiful !
June 10, 2009 at 3:20 am
And Lera is her name 🙂
June 10, 2009 at 3:35 am
As I do agree that Russian women are good looking, I would say that Thai women are the sweetest and most gorgeous looking women in the world. Sorry but true
June 10, 2009 at 5:39 am
Who cares? To me, this site isn’t about Russian women being better than western women, or than Thai women. It’s about Russian women being great.
More generally, I think it’s just about exquisite ladies.
The first photo, by the way, is outstanding.
June 10, 2009 at 5:54 am
Thanks Cody,
These gorgeous women have a funny habit of turning many men into good photographers even when they are only armed with a cheap 2 mega-pixel camera phone which was the case with the beautiful Ms. Lera here.
I guess I should start doing endorsements for Sony Ericsson eh? 😉
June 10, 2009 at 5:53 am
If we would all look closely (as I have) at lots of old photos and films from the turn of the last century, you will quickly see, behind drab clothes, braided and bunned hair and life lined faces . . . . that many women of that period were damn beautiful and their hard life did not discourage their commitment to their families.
As for their strength, one grave site I found years ago in Northern Wisconsin had the names of a man and three children, one on each of the four sides of a square pillar. They had all died within a span of about four months during the mid 1800s. The dad was the second to pass and he was 29 years old. Can you possibly imagine the kind of woman who could bury a child, then her husband and then two more children in such a short time? She was probably around 19 to 23 years old. The inscription under the name of the first child who died referred to ‘the first of them to lie down on the new land’. Mom was barely more than a child herself and she buried her family and she wasn’t even from that place. It was a homestead maybe hundreds of hard miles from where she was born and raised. Think about the strength and character she must have possessed.
Modern NA women run away because ‘hubby’ doesn’t cap the toothpaste properly or put the toilet seat down. So my question is; what is the value of a modern NA woman, no matter how good she looks?
Sophie mentioned the two World Wars and the fortitude of western women for getting through it. I agree with Sophie that they stepped up and covered a lot of bases while the men were away fighting. However, the women of Russia and the rest of Europe had to do as much or more, and the whole time they had to dodge bullets and bombs. One thought on why those FSU women are still better grounded may have something to do with a heritage that has hardly ever seen a generation that was not at war, on their own soil, for about the last 5 or 6 hundred years.
Beauty is a nice side note to any relationship, but without dignity and character, you might as well just have a house full of pictures.
June 14, 2009 at 7:56 pm
Russian women did more than dodge bullets and bombs, they hurled them at invaders too. In WW-II many women became extremely lethal snipers, assassins and even combat pilots who killed German troops as mercilessly as the men they fought with. WW-II was not the first time, nor will it be the last where the Russian version of “Molly Pitcher” defended her homeland.
Taras
June 14, 2009 at 8:01 pm
You are absolutely right. They defended their homeland with their lives. I wonder how many modern NA women would do the same . . . . . .
June 10, 2009 at 6:03 am
Ok Cody! I agree and I did not want to be understood wrongly. Russian women are very beautiful, however are the girls on the pics avergae girls or the top 1 percent of Russian girls?
June 10, 2009 at 10:31 am
Russian women are strong, intelligent and proud women. Wrongfred might be right about Thai women being cute, but as a half Thai who is living in Thailand I can tell you that Thai women are less enduring and are easier to manipulate by the feminist wish-wash than Russians.
Looks like Russian women are standing their ground against feminism, because their intelligence thet try to be feminine and put families first.
June 10, 2009 at 6:01 pm
We are not against feminism. We just did not forget that we are women and we listen the desires of our female hearts! As well we are proud of being beautiful and enchanting. (When I came abroad for the fist time, my aunt told me: “Show them who is the Russian Woman is!” =D)
June 10, 2009 at 11:42 pm
Isn’t there a difference between feminism in Russia and in America?
I’m in full support of the Russian version, if I understand correctly what it is. But in the US, unfortunately, feminism has come to represent the view that femininity is a shackle imposed by male dominated society.
In the US, feminists are not proud of being women, but rather out to prove to everybody that they are as good as men in every way, that there is no essential difference between the sexes that isn’t defined by sex roles.
You advocated embracing and cherishing womanhood, being proud of being a woman. Whereas the sort of feminism the men on this site talk about advocates pride in throwing off the feminine archetype. I know you can be for something without being against the other, but American feminists and genuine women are opposing ideals.
June 11, 2009 at 1:46 am
Feminism is about equality and showing that women should be equal but different to men. However Western women do not want to be women. They want to be men as well therefore they hate everything feminine.
June 11, 2009 at 3:55 am
Please remember that there is a fundamental difference between ‘femininity’ and being a ‘feminist’. Feminism is not supposed to be the act of being a feminist. Feminism is supposed to be when a woman embraces her femininity and she is allowing herself to appreciate and adore the fact that she is a woman. She is joyful about the uniqueness and splendor of womanhood.
A feminist, on the other hand, is about everything but embracing your femininity. It is about angry dissent, defiance of one’s own gender, about retribution towards all men for crimes not committed by them and ultimately about replacing men in every conceivable manner. It is vindictive and destructive. It has very little, if anything at all to do with being a woman.
We should hope by now that every country would appreciate and respect what women bring to the world in all walks of life. No woman should be paid less for doing the same job as a man, just because she is a woman. At the same time there should be no favoritism or quota hiring on those jobs. You either make it or not strictly based on background and performance.
But it can not be both ways for the women who chose a career over a family life. For a thousand years men have made the same choice; to be a provider and to sacrifice time with their families to ensure their safety and well being. Modern feminists think they should have all of the benefits with none of the detriments. Life doesn’t work that way. It never has, for men either.
Ladies, make your choice and live with it. The world will be less hard on you than you will be on yourself. Believe me, it is exactly the same, sour reality that men have known throughout time. As far as being ‘feminine’ or believing in ‘feminism’ or being a ‘feminist’, be sure you use the correct term for what you truly believe.
If you love being all woman, you are feminine. If you want to replace every traditional male role, you are a feminist. Feminism used to describe the first one, but sadly it now draws more closely to the second. At the end of the day, just be yourself and if anyone doesn’t like it, too freakin’ bad. Just don’t blame them for not agreeing with everything you believe. They (we) all have a right to our own opinions, too.
June 11, 2009 at 4:37 pm
Cody, I lived in Russia, for me the “feminism” concept did not exist at all! I got the sense of it only here, in Canada.
However, FOR ME just being beautiful and willing the family are only 2 aspects of femininity. Feminine woman is more than that!
I DO NOT criticise Feminists – I try to understand them. I try to understand what makes these women not to accept the divine privilege to be a woman.
June 11, 2009 at 5:34 pm
The problem of women is not in feminism, but in the week image of woman in society! Therefore, women do not want to be women. It is understandable, is it?
To resolve the problem, we need to create a Powelful Image of Woman…that is what I am doing in my blog and in the internet in general. Soon I will start it in Vancouver.
June 10, 2009 at 11:49 am
American women born after 1970 are the “Daddy! Make him do what I want!” generation.
June 10, 2009 at 6:16 pm
What a lovely young lady with a positively beautiful smile. She makes me feel happier just looking at her pictures. I love her name, which is short for Valerya……..:-)
Taras
June 10, 2009 at 11:31 pm
I had an elderly German woman tell me that during World War 2 you and your neighbors in order to survive had to work togeather and look after each other. She explained that they had to share food with each other. As Sophie said Western women even back there still not like Russian women though no doubt stong (and of course feminine). But if you think about it Russian women’s history is different then the West. The West historicaly debated the role of Western women for example. This was never a big issue in Russia. This might be one reason why there is diffrences.
June 11, 2009 at 1:41 am
Looks like my comments are not excepted on this forums and deleted. Anyone can tell me why 😦
June 11, 2009 at 1:42 am
ooopps I could not see many comment. sorry. can anyone remove that post . Thanks
June 12, 2009 at 1:21 am
genuinewoman,
I personally do not think that anyone ‘needs to create a Powerful Image of Woman’. The more practical, and probably more functional, solution would be to start teaching our girls and young women to embrace who they are and to quit trying to rebuild a world which already has a working plan. It really wasn’t until Marx that women were made to feel inferior and not until much later when western women began to believe the lie. Women have never been inferior but if you tell a group how down trodden they are for a long enough period of time, they will begin to believe it. That’s pretty much how it happened as I saw it throughout my life. Woman does not ‘need’ a new image. They merely need to appreciate the image of who they are, deep down inside. Men and women should not be in competition for everything. There is a way to have the best of all scenarios but it requires each of us being exactly as God or providence or whatever you wish to call it has made us. We are no micro-chemical accident and survival of the fittest still needs a power beyond ourselves in order to continue on. By educating the young we stand a better chance of regaining the tranquility that we once held in such high esteem.
June 12, 2009 at 7:19 am
You misunderstood me.
I am not offering women to compete with men. I do not see any sense in that.
By Powerful Image of Woman I mean the image that will help ladies to become aware of their true selves and realize the benefits of being feminine women.
Here I will describe the image in a few words:
1) Feminine, beautiful, charming, sincere, pure, full of life, wise Lady who loves and respects herself… A Woman-Goddess =)
2) Her femininity is her power: everything that she wishes, comes true (http://genuinewoman.wordpress.com/2009/05/29/femininity/)
3) She creates lasting and happy relationships with her man
4) She creates harmony and love for her family
5) She brings up happy and healthy children
6) Her man respects, loves, and values her
7) i.g.
June 13, 2009 at 6:09 am
Sounds like чеховская душечка, oh have I misunderstood the concept of feminine woman?
June 13, 2009 at 7:35 am
How does Chekhovian dushechka translate in what you are saying?
June 13, 2009 at 4:52 pm
Richard, there is a short story written by Anton Chekhov, it’s called The Darling, and the main character name had long ago became a common name.
And it translates as Chekhovian darling.
June 13, 2009 at 8:06 pm
Thank you Kisha. Looks like I have another book to read.
June 14, 2009 at 4:32 am
Oh, Kisha! You did misunderstood! I can’t even call Olenka feminine! I know such kind of women and I DO NOT respect them at all!
1) F. W. lives in love and happiness. Olenka does not!
2) F.W. is wise and full of live! F.W. is self-sufficient! Look at Olenka. She is absolutely nothing! She is boring! She always needs someone to be fulfill her life!
3) Olenka does not create anything. She parasitizes on her husbands. Therefore, do not recommend men to have a wife like Olenka because bit by bit she will bring her husband to the death!
4) Olenka can’t not bring up healthy and happy children.
June 14, 2009 at 7:19 am
Is she not feminine? I always thought she was “She was a quiet, kind-hearted, compassionate girl,
with a soft gentle way about her” isn’t that feminine?
I do understand what you mean, and how you feel about Olenka, but let me explain why I thought your FW was Dushechka in disguise.
1)1) Feminine, beautiful, charming, sincere, pure, full of life, wise Lady who loves and respects herself… A Woman-Goddess =) – Dushechka does have all these, well wizdom she arguably has not, but hey she’s one little charming thing that well fits your description.
2) Her femininity is her power: everything that she wishes, comes true; not sure about that, but she just wished to be happy and she was in her way.
3) She creates lasting and happy relationships with her man
– uh yeah she does, untill he dies…cos her husbands they WERE happy. And so was she.
4) She creates harmony and love for her family
“And so the Pustovalovs lived for full six years, quietly and
peaceably, in perfect love and harmony.”
5) She brings up happy and healthy children – well she couldn’t have children, but if she had children they’d probably take after their mother, who “made a very healthy,
wholesome impression”
6) Her man respects, loves, and values her – guess they did.
June 14, 2009 at 7:50 am
What I’m trying to say, I see that your idea of feminine woman is different and you don’t chose dushechka as a role model, but it may look like that in a glimpse.
June 14, 2009 at 5:33 pm
Kisha, thank you for sharing your views. You pointed out right that Dushechka is not my role model. Even though I find the story “Dushechka” interesting because Chekhov described the character very well.
June 14, 2009 at 7:21 am
You’re welcome.It’s a good read. And it’s short enough to be found in the internet.
June 12, 2009 at 7:21 pm
genuinewoman,
I certainly don’t want to play down the importance of what you are saying. The goals you have may be exactly as most of us dream of seeing in the future. However, I don’t think that I misunderstood the words you used but rather how you were using them.
Some of the primary meanings of “power” “powerful” or “empower” would be: ‘to use strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted; might’, ‘the ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority’, ‘having great influence or control over others’, ‘forcefulness’, ‘political, social, or economic control’, ‘those who hold effective power in a system or situation’, ‘capable of exerting power; potent’, ‘especially legal power or official authority’.
These are the common, modern realities of using the word ‘power’ when describing a philosophical or ideological position. They are not the ways one would effectively describe a woman who is hoping to embrace her femininity. In fact that would be very much in line with the hard core feminist perspective, which is in no way directed towards femininity.
Also, by mentioning the competitive nature of modern relationships, I was not saying that you were taking that stand. I was merely pointing out the obvious discrepancy which exists between what today’s woman professes as equality and what it is that men are so thoroughly disgusted with regarding relationships. By believing the feminist agenda that tells women they are ‘entitled’ to simultaneously enjoy highly successful careers, well adjusted families, more sex than a prostitute and never having a bad day in the bargain, they have become ardent combatants rather than loving partners. Then they complain that men still get a better deal.
When you use words like ‘power’ to describe a woman discovering their inner peace and value, it’s as if you have waved an enemy flag with the hope of gaining allies.
I am not trying to condemn or criticize your beliefs or your values if, in fact, you wish to bring femininity and dignity back to women. I applaud your efforts. But if you use the buzz words and terminology of feminists to do it, then I think you are either playing to the wrong crowd or possibly deceiving the very women you hope to reach.
Remember too, this is just my opinion. I’m not drawing lines in the sand. We could believe the same thing and still not agree on how best to present the message.
June 12, 2009 at 8:21 pm
RIchard,
Please remember that not everyone uses the english language as perfectly as you do. To many visitors here, myself included, english is a SECOND language. Though, if we were talking face to face you would have a hard time realizing my first language is French as I’m near-perfect bi-lingual. However, sometimes, I do make mistakes in syntax or use a word inappropriately. I suspect these errors in language would occur more often, in more blantant ways even, for those who use English sporadically or are beginners at learning it.
Granted, Genuine Woman may have used terms that meant one thing to you, when she clearly meant something else. If you paid attention to WHAT she was trying to say, as opposed to which words she used to convey it, you would have understood this. I did.
A necessary technique when communicating with my many Russian internet-based friends whose command of English is basic or slightly above or achieved with the use of dictionaries or electronic translators. Look beyond the words for the overall intent/meaning.
Just food for thought.
June 12, 2009 at 8:22 pm
P.S. How good is YOUR Russian?
Would your ideas and opinions be as clear in a language you have yet to master?
June 13, 2009 at 4:11 am
To begin with I have a far from perfect grasp of the English language. It is my first language, but that’s it.
Your comments and attitude have little to do with whether or not I understood genuinewoman’s meaning. It is because I did understand what she said that I decided to point out how her word choice might be confusing or misleading. Apparently you didn’t follow MY meaning at all.
If you were trying to impress upon people how important your ideas are and you were using improper words or phrases to do that, I would think that you might appreciate someone pointing out any misleading usage. It’s called ‘common courtesy’ where I come from.
I have looked at genuinewoman’s blog site and I am very impressed with her intent. I agree with the direction and hope that she can bring a better understanding of how every woman can be her very best.
Please save the antagonistic thinking and statements for someone who deserves it.
June 13, 2009 at 4:27 am
RIchard,
I apologize if my comments seemed antagonistic to you. That wasn’t my intention at all. Guess I still have much to learn about the english language. No hard feelings.
June 12, 2009 at 7:43 pm
Richard, I appreciate your comments. English is my second language, therefore I do not feel the words, the way people (whose native language is English) do.
I found one general definition of power: The ability or capacity to perform or act effectively. When I use the word “power” I mean this! What is wrong with one? I do not see nothing “negative” in doing something effectively.
Could you please help me to find the right word for the ability of a feminine woman to get what she wants just by dreaming about it?
June 12, 2009 at 8:01 pm
I believe what GenuineWoman means is she desires to create a strong (powerful) self-image of women – So women can stop hating themselves as they are told to do in media, and start embracing all that the uniqueness of being real feminine women can offer to them and all around them.
June 12, 2009 at 9:28 pm
Thank you, Andre! You understood my ideas even without perfect English writing. I am very happy with that!
June 12, 2009 at 9:32 pm
You are most welcome. 😀
June 13, 2009 at 5:04 am
Here’s another thought on the issue of a woman’s self image.
It has become very common, even popular, to seek out someone or something to blame for one’s lot in life. Generally speaking, that will most often be the closest or easiest person or thing one can think of, i.e., “my daddy didn’t love me” or “the media is trying to make me into someone I’m not”. If a woman, or anyone else, has to live a victim’s life in order to justify their hardships, then nothing we say here will ever help them.
Women don’t ‘hate themselves’ because of unrealistic expectations in the media. That is a cop out at best. Nobody forces anyone to believe that sludge, and in fact no one is forcing any one to read Cosmo, watch Oprah or dress like a runway model. Those are choices. And as I’ve said before, make your choices and live with the results. Dr. Phil does NOT have all the answers. Oprah’s ‘power’ has been given to her by the weakness of those who believe she is somehow ‘better’ than they are. I’ve met Oprah. She IS NOT BETTER than the average woman on the street today. She isn’t smarter, prettier, sexier, more talented or anything else. She farts, she poops, she belches and she probably snores.
What is hilarious to me is how someone will condemn a person like Paris Hilton and praise somebody like Oprah Winfrey in the same breath, or vise-versa. Why would anyone follow the thoughts or suggestions of either of those self serving, multi-millionaire bitches? No intelligent man alive would have anything to do with them if they were waitresses at Denny’s. That’s the kind of ‘media influence’ that should scare the hell out of us.
June 13, 2009 at 4:38 am
genuinewoman,
You are right that one of the ways to use the word ‘power’ is “to perform effectively”. You are also right in thinking that this is a great way for women to view their abilities and potential.
The only problem with it comes from a modern acceptance of ‘power’ to mean most of the things I mentioned earlier. The women’s liberation movement of the 60s and 70s (along with a dozen other groups and organizations) redefined ‘power’ to mean ‘take over’, ‘defeat’, ‘destroy’ or ‘demoralize’ a competitor.
One of the sad realities of this high paced, globalization process is that many words are being redefined or simply misused by so many, that soon it becomes difficult to find their original meaning.
You have properly used a word which has been so often misused that your intent can be misunderstood.
I love the way you write. It is with warmth, openness and honesty. It is refreshing and enlightening. As you embrace femininity and share your hopes and dreams for the benefit of women everywhere, I truly pray that you will reach beyond your wildest fantasy.
Tonight I will spend some time reading and thinking about what you’ve asked with regard to other ways of presenting your ideas. I have spent a lot of time with my daughter trying to teach her that anything she dreams about and believes with all of her heart is within her grasp. Your concept of bringing dreams to reality is quite moving. It is where we should all commit our energy.
June 12, 2009 at 9:50 pm
What do you think of American women? Honestly!
June 13, 2009 at 5:08 am
Andre,
No worries.
June 13, 2009 at 6:48 am
Genuinewoman, The definition you gave for power is correct, BUT in all my life, I can only recall that definition used to describe the power of an engine in a car or truck. When refering to ‘power of a women’, it to many traditional minded guys carries a very negative connotation.
If I hear any woman refer to herself as powerful, I’m looking for the nearest door. I don’t want to talk anymore.
any word using power, and woman in the same sentence will cause you problems with traditional men. Even the word ‘strength’ woudl be dangerous.
I used to describe the kind of woman that I wanted as an “iron rose” to avoid the terms of feminists.
June 13, 2009 at 2:04 pm
What kind of connotations, if I may ask? Do you mean it makes you think of raving feminists as Richard outlined above?
June 13, 2009 at 2:39 pm
exactly.
June 13, 2009 at 8:53 pm
Sophie,
Nobody wants to detract from genuinewoman’s intent and meaning. She has used the word ‘power’ properly as per a dictionary definition.
However, as wolverine and I are trying to point out, the word has a primary usage or meaning in today’s vernacular which is far more popularly understood and that is as a verb describing dominance or confrontation rather than as a noun which labels a person, place or thing.
If the most common modern usage is one that draws an immediate impression of something offensive, wouldn’t you agree that it might be best to avoid its use in professing a gentle and loving concept, such as a woman’s femininity?
It isn’t all about the stark raving mad, all or nothing feminazis of the world. It is about how best to make your point, and as the old saying goes, “You can catch more bees with sugar than salt”.
The modern English speaking world views ‘power’ as a point of defiance or confrontation. “Power to the People”, “Girl Power”, “Black Power”, “The Power of One”, etc. I have never heard, ‘that is a powerful little butterfly’ or ‘isn’t that a powerful baby?’ or ‘the power of femininity’.
Genuinewoman said she was trying to highlight the idea of a feminine woman using her dreams to help create her reality. It is a beautiful and admirable idea. We should all take notice of how she has brought our most basic feelings of self into use as a ‘powerful’ tool for building on our personal traits and characteristics.
How about if we all try to help develop the idea through a sharing of our own knowledge and experience?
June 14, 2009 at 8:34 am
genuinewoman,
After reading Chekov’s “The Darling” a couple of times today, I think I see why Kisha considers Olenka to be the truly feminine woman. I agree that the most obvious traits of this young woman are exactly as we would like to see in women today. Traits such as honesty, loyalty, and compassion. She is described as gentle and soft-hearted and she is filled with love for others.
Could it be that you see Olenka’s falling so desperately in love with each man in her life as a weakness? Do you feel that she is unable to survive on her own because of how deeply she grieves over the tragic loss of each husband who has died?
It is because this character is so completely committed to each relationship that she feels broken and lost when they come to such terrible ends. I think her femininity is certain. Her naiveté or her gentleness are not the signs of weakness to me but rather the signs of a very kind and sensitive person . . . . . a very feminine woman.
This may come back to how you were using the word power and how the meaning may be confused. If you see a truly feminine woman as one who can avoid the sensitivity and tenderness of being a woman for the benefit of not needing a man in her life, then you are speaking more like the feminist. A truly feminine woman not only embraces her self and all of her value, but also her need to be a part of the much larger plan which includes wife, mother, nurturer and even matriarch. It is hard to tell if you mean feminine as a platform of complete isolationism and independence or one of sharing mutual needs and interdependence.
I think that many of the people who are reading this blog view the feminine woman as one who is willing to risk her individuality on the prospect of being fulfilled as a part of something greater. Exposing our vulnerability is taking a huge chance, yet it is only by taking that chance and the possibility of being hurt that we can find the joy of a complete and loving relationship. Something must be wagered in order to claim any prize. Nobody wins lotteries without first buying a ticket.
It is very realistic for a woman to be gentle and charming and dignified without posing a threat to anyone around her, including her lover. She is not of any less value or lacking in personal strength because she lets herself be a woman first and foremost. And even though being a woman does not mean she MUST have a man to complete her, being a truly feminine woman would imply the desire to fulfill her natural calling.
To deny the role of mother as a part of being a woman is a bit silly if I understood my high school biology classes correctly. Any further attempt to repress this portion of our nature makes no sense. If that is true, and I suspect it is since we’ve survived on that premise for a couple of thousand years, then it is only reasonable to conclude that men and women NEED each other to be what we were designed to be. I fully acknowledge the many possible exceptions, but that only helps to prove the rule.
If you can toss out all of the propaganda and rhetoric of the feminist movement, all of the false promises and deceptions, and just focus on the height and grandeur of being a woman, you will be able to positively effect thousands of women everywhere.
June 14, 2009 at 6:20 pm
I would like to remind that Chekhov ridiculed the character of Olenka. He pointed out her emptiness and the need to love anyone.
You can see that in the way Olenka changes her opinions and in the way her husbands described (first one – an unlucky person (Chekhov called him Kukin what associates with кукиш); second one – Pustovalov, what means in Russian an empty person, the third is the grumbling veterinarian who is ridiculed by Chekhov too.)
As well, 2 her husbands had died (and Chekhov made fun of their death), the third one left Olenka. My opinion: men do not leave a good woman!!
At the end of the story you can see tragedy of Olenka, because now she worries about the son of veterinarian.
Chekhov brilliantly displayed the degradation (not the growth) of the character. If you understand the Chekhov’s style of writing, you see that.
I personally do not see anything attractive in the character of Olenka. The tragedy of her life and her emptiness of her heart show the level of her femininity (from my point of view.)
If Olenka would enrich her husbands’ hearts and life, if the author would show her growth as a woman…
By the way, my role model of woman is Anastasia (Vladimir Megre) whom I highly respect. She is the one who taught me how to be a real woman!
June 14, 2009 at 7:58 pm
It seems that we do not agree with Chekov’s portrayal of Olenka’s strength or weakness. Where I see Olenka as being so supportive of each man she falls in love with that she adopts their very thoughts, you apparently see that as emptiness within her own soul or personality. In my heart I feel sorrow for her because she places so much of her value in the careers of these men that it seems like she has no identity of her own. However, if her comfort in life comes from serving and supporting others with all of her heart, I can not discredit her for it. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman (or a man) to be completely committed to the role of spouse. It is far more honorable than the self serving nature of modern couples. Olenka refuses to accept any option other than total immersion in her relationships, even at her own expense. We should all be so true in love. She does not sacrifice her femininity; she wears it grandly for the world to see. Even when it hurts. If she chooses to be identified as the wife or the lover, who is to tell her that she is wrong?
I think that Chekov has illuminated a wonderfully dramatic level of personal sacrifice which apparently ends without a clear payoff for the main character. Though the story may be sad overall, I see beauty and charm, warmth and dignity in Olenka. Also a strength of character which would be almost impossible to find today.
In specific response to a few of your points;
“My opinion: men do not leave a good woman!!”
I would say GOOD men do not leave a good woman. Many men would leave a good woman just as many women have left good men.
“Chekhov brilliantly displayed the degradation (not the growth) of the character.”
I simply disagree with that. There is no degradation in Olenka’s dedication. Whether or not she has ‘grown’ by the experience is not fully clear, but she is still deeply concerned for the veterinarian’s son even after all of the hurt that relationship has brought her.
“If Olenka would enrich her husbands’ hearts and life, if the author would show her growth as a woman.”
Why? And by whose measure? We don’t see her becoming less sensitive to the needs of others despite the terrible losses in her life. So who can say what her ‘needs’ are? It is a statement of feminism to say “Olenka needs to grow the way I think she should”. I am actually amazed by the strength of Olenka throughout the story. What she needs to do is to teach others how to live with the faith of Job no matter what horrible obstacles confront her.
I will definitely seek to know Anastasia (Vladimir Megre) if possible as to better understand your perspective.
June 15, 2009 at 12:03 pm
Dushechka’s tragedy that she’s not enough of a person.
She can only live loving smb, anybody in fact. We’re not talking about being whole cos well it takes a soulmate to make one whole, and soul is what Dushechka lacks. Dushechka can also be translated as a little, undeveloped soul. She’s all nicely round even her name Olenka gives you that impression, but there’s no shape no opinions no ideas of her own. She’s a pure feminine materia. Her dedication to her husbands only lets her obtain sense in her life, there’s no other sense for her, cos she doesn’t love life withought a man. And this man can actually be any man who walks into her life.
Her shallow soul doesn’t evolve it just takes a shape of a man whos round her. It’s like a water poured in a glass, once it’s broken or cracked the same amount of water goes out, in the same way life and loses don’t touch or change Olenka’s little soul, it is void from the begging and can only be influenced from outside. She doesn’t mourn over the death of her husbands for too long. Cos she didn’t love them as individuals but as objects she can project her love at. Objects which ideas and believes she can absorb and then throw away, like it happened with the theater, cos it’s not about the ideas she believes in, it’s about being able to say something.
But her last love was diffrent it was actually the thing which could make her really happy, a child. But the only thing she could give to a child was her love. Which is not enough.
Actually, there’re 2 approaches to the character of Olenka and the way the story is written proves that this dualism was chosen by the auther. So everyone chose for themselves.
In our literature traditions we’re used to having more vivid and solid female characters, so guess it’s the reason why I’m personally not so impressed with Olga Semenovna.
June 16, 2009 at 2:24 am
I totally agree with Kisha! =) Thank you for pointing out the word “Dushechka.” I did not notice that. Right! She is a little Dusha (soul).
Personally I never was a fan of Chekhov, but this story is great.
For the better understanding what Femininity means for me I wrote another post about it.
http://genuinewoman.wordpress.com/2009/06/15/femininity-3/
June 18, 2009 at 5:08 pm
Genuinewoman, all I know is that soul and self-improvement interested Chekhov a lot, and most of his books are about it.
June 18, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Russian person! =)
The beauty of our souls will save the world. =D
June 14, 2009 at 10:20 pm
Richard, we look at the life different. That is all I can say.
June 15, 2009 at 3:50 pm
I have to say that I assume, Richard, that you read the translated version of Olenka’s tale. I think that’s rather important, and GenuineWoman is probably correct about the derisive tone in which Chekhov intends his characters to be viewed.
Does she deserve it? Perhaps not, but although I haven’t yet read the story I would tend to agree with GenuineWoman about the importance of inner strength and ‘power’ in a feminine lady. I would also say that I have understood your use of power as you meant it.
A feminine woman’s strength comes from her will to create her own happiness, to endure and just love living the way she is. Feminine strength is very different from masculine strength, and I think that’s what you mean — that ladies need to be taught that the less dominating, recessive nature of femininity is not a weakness but rather often more powerful than the more direct, masculine sort of strength.
Honestly, I don’t see much point in debating syntax when it’s been fairly clear the overall ideology that this fine woman is advocating. She does a pretty good job of describing the sort of lady I’d like to love.
June 15, 2009 at 7:29 pm
Cody,
What I usually try to do with any stories written in other languages is to get the original and then have a straight translation, verbatim. That is generally filled with grammatical errors but gives a better idea of intent. Then I will look for the accepted translation and see how much it differs. (usually quite a bit) Sometimes I look up collegiate reviews or revised standards (cut down versions) Basically I just enjoy trying to put myself into the writer’s head and see what I think they are trying to say.
And, yes, I have said that I like genuinewoman’s writing and what it is she advocates. It is the sharing of ideas and thoughts back and forth that helps us all to grow in understanding and purpose.
June 14, 2009 at 10:32 pm
Please, take a look at Anastasia. Especially read about the relationships of Liubomilka and Radomir in the last book (Book VII – Part II: Rites Of Love.)
June 15, 2009 at 2:52 am
I’m looking forward to it. Will it be hard to find?
June 15, 2009 at 3:04 pm
It is very easy to find: libraries, Amazon, http://www.spaceoflove.com/books/books.htm
Today I recalled an example of woman who ENRICHED her man heart and life. It is from classic Russian literature (Master and Margarita, M.Bulgakov.)
Margarita:
* who believed in the novel her man (Master) wrote and believed in his talant;
* who had a deal with a devil to find her Master again;
* who brought him to the life after mental hospital;
* who achieved the novel approval by the most important reader.
=)
June 19, 2009 at 11:11 pm
the girl listed on this page is so beautiful that i wish i ever could see her face to face.
Real beaurt, real elegance, best decent girl with charmng smile i ever seen, Girl you rocks , Always take care of ur beauty
June 25, 2009 at 6:23 am
Russian girls are beautiful and have a good heart. Which makes them double beautiful.
July 13, 2009 at 5:12 am
I’d like to briefly ask the opinion of our knowledgeable host, as well as readers in the know, about something.
I recently waltzed up (cold; I didn’t know her name) to a pretty lady selling Ukrainian food at a festival in my city, and asked for a lunch date. Well, it went well, but she said she’s 16.
So my question is, would Ukrainians/Russians consider it appropriate for a 20 year old to date a 16 year old? Her accent would indicate she speaks Ukrainian at home, so I’m assuming she may be from a traditional home.
July 13, 2009 at 3:29 pm
In Russia it is fine in general. But it might depend on her father. =P
Ekaterina
July 13, 2009 at 7:09 am
As one opinion, I’d say you might have answered your question with your last statement; “she may be from a traditional home”. There are few cultures that I’ve experienced where a parent would easily approve of a young adult guy dating their mid-teen daughter. The more traditional her family is, the less likely they might be to embrace you as a potential boyfriend. Not to say that it couldn’t happen but just keep in mind that parents can be a bit protective of their ‘little girls’.
In most countries, meeting the parents right off the bat and being very respectful of their opinions and family guidelines is a big key to spending any time around a member of the family.
Certainly 4 years is a normal dating range anywhere. It’s just that she is still a ‘child’ in the legal sense and you are not. It’s only when that small gap in age crosses a legal boundrey that you should be concerned.
July 22, 2009 at 7:03 pm
Love the site. I was just wondering, are there other blogs out there that cover women from other countries i.e. Spanish as in Spain, Argentinian, or Turkish. I’m planning on moving from the U.S. but I’m not sure what my final destination will be. Thanks.
July 26, 2009 at 9:16 pm
I wish it wasn’t so expensive to get over there. In this economy it’s even harder. I’m stuck here in the US with these terrible women. I gotta get outta here! I’m almost ready to swim to Moscow after I read this blog. lol
July 27, 2009 at 7:20 pm
Luis,
I’ve been to Spain and Turkey and probably can’t comment on the girls as well as a man could but I’ll do my best.
In Spain, everything is rather mixed, same with most European countries. In the cities the girls will be pretty much the same wherever you go it seems. But some parts of Spain seem to be several hundred years behind in character and you may well find a nice traditional girl there. But the Spanish character can come across as rather arrogant and rude (to me), although it seems to be a custom rather than an indicator of personality… I wouldn’t say I found Spaniards particularly physically attractive if that concerns you at all. I feel awful saying it but I might as well add it in there.
Turkey appears full of the lowest-class tourists so avoid the tourist hotspots unless you want to see a middle-aged Brit giving you the come-on with her belly hanging out of her crop-top (same goes for the southern Spanish coast). The native Turkish girls seem quite Asian, Arabic, Muslim in character. I can’t really comment on them much further as I didn’t stay long.
Argentina I don’t know but my boyfriend is from South America and says it is very European, similiar in character to Italy. I’ve never been to Italy but if you have perhaps this will help you.
If I were a man looking for a lovely traditional feminine girl I would personally pick Asia, whether middle or far eastern. I can only envy Iranian girls, who even if they are not naturally beautiful possess such a sweet goddess-like presence I feel like a caveman by comparison. I can’t comment on Eastern Europe. I have only really met one girl from there, an Estonian, who if she is any indicator of her country should send y’all flocking there in your millions, but apart from her I couldn’t tell you what they are like.
Mike,
If you cannot get to Moscow why not try looking around your area, just in case? America may no longer be full of the sort of women men went to war for, but it’s worth a try to see if there are any gems near you, at least until you can look to other countries. You never know, she may be just round the corner AND share the same first language as you. Give it a go. If not, you still have your other options to try.
August 3, 2009 at 8:29 am
Bella,
It’s a longshot. I have met some very nice foreign women in my area over the years. Problem was they were all married. lol
What other options do you recomend?
In any case, I’d rather be single than deal with the common domestic women here in the states.
August 4, 2009 at 5:54 pm
Hi Mike!
Not sure what to say. I have never been to America to be honest so have no idea if the women really are that bad. I live in the UK which is pretty mixed IMO depending on the area and the social class you mix with…
I have just moved to a new area though, in a poor area, and I really want to move away. I would so love to go to a foreign country and be around some proper girls so I don’t feel quite so alone embracing my feminity etc… my sights are especially set on the Baltics though I have never been. I guess just try to go! At least for a few days when you can. And if you can take the risk, go.
I have a friend who is married to a lady from Estonia and he is so happy. I am not financially able to move and am just about to go back to university. But one day… i think I’ll just go for it.
August 6, 2009 at 1:00 am
Bella,
From your old “uncle” in North Carolina, I just want to say that you are pure class. I hope things go well at the University, and that your relationship continues to blossom. It’s comforting to know that there are some young women out there like you coming along in this challenging world. Please know that your helpful nature, femininity, and honesty are much appreciated by many people, and when discouraged by negative feedback, please remember that. Take care.
August 18, 2009 at 7:31 pm
I’m 35, never married and live in New York. My experience with Russian women until two weeks ago has not been favorable:
1.) Went on a date with one I randomly met at a gym. She was the sexiest lady in the gym by far. On the date, I discovered her body odor to be the worst I have ever smelled on a woman, and her breath wreaked of vodka. I didn’t even want to kiss her good night (but I did b/c she was so hot).
2.) I hired one based on her looks alone. I lived to regret this decision – she was a motor mouth from hell, had a ghetto attitude, was devious, and not to be trusted.
3.) I currently work with one and she is also devious and too masculine, too stiff/uptight/pushy to be tolerated for long periods of time. She is intelligent and she is definitely attractive, but I could never be with a person like her.
Then I met Ksenia. I saw her on a dingy subway heading downtown. I looked up from reading my book and our eyes met. She was stunning – her face, eyes, body, the way she was dressed, all the details – it just pushed all my buttons, all at once. I see hot girls on the subway every day – never do I approach them – but this girl was different. Our eyes met more than once…stares were getting longer.
It just so happened we were getting off at the same stop on 34th – she was walking in front of me – when we got to the top of the stairs I approached her. I was really goofy like, “Excuse me Miss, I’m really attracted to you… I never do this…etc”
Her English wasn’t great but it was good enough. She spoke sweetly and softly like a girl. We carried plenty of good conversation throughout the day…But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself.
I find out she is 23 yrs old, about 5’10, from Siberia, and that she has been touring the U.S. and will be leaving the next day. She says she is on her way to the “Museum of Sex” on 5th Ave and that she had just come from the Museum of Natural History. Then she tells me I can walk with her to the museum!
As we were walking to the museum, I let my conscience get the best of me. I thought I’d leave this girl alone – I didn’t want to ruin her trip/be a creep/get robbed, etc. So I said Goodbye and went to Starbucks to do some work while I wished could kiss her. At Starbucks I could not concentrate on work – All I could think about was her – so I forced myself out of there and walked ten blocks to the Museum of Sex…
I took a risk, bought a ticket and surprised her…said I would leave if I was making her uncomfortable. She was blushing and seemed glad to see me there. We ended up hanging out the whole day, had dinner together and went to see ‘Chicago’.(Her dream is to be in the Broadway Show ‘Chicago’, but she could just as easily be a ‘Rockette’)
She left the next day. I later thought to myself, “I’d marry a girl like this”. (And I never say this stuff) I mean, we were walking through Time Square, seeing who could blow the biggest bubble gum bubble…it was cute. I don’t know if I’ll see Ksenia again, but something tells me there might be ‘more where that came from’.
But do I really, actually have to go to f@#%$ Siberia to meet a sweet-natured, lovely, ‘hittin on all cylinders’ woman like this?
I thought Siberia is where Russian exiles were sent – like the worst punishment was to be sent to the forbidden, frozen landscapes of Siberia…
Sorry, the pics are taken with my Cell phone:
http://www.flickr.com/photos/36281631@N00/sets/72157622076764946/
Drew
August 22, 2009 at 12:25 am
After my encounter with Ksenia and reading this blog I’m seriously thinking of heading to Siberia for a month to investigate – Can anyone shed some light on what areas (towns, cities, etc) to explore, what is the best time of the year to go (least cold).
Thanks,
Drew
August 22, 2009 at 1:30 am
I have a question. I’ve been all over the world and my experience is that the only people who “marry out” (out of their own culture) are people who are lower on the social food chain in their countries.
Highly placed and established families marry other highly placed and established families from within their own countries.
Does this hold for Russia too?