Russian Women - The Real Truth

1. Why did you create this Blog?

Russian women are like heroic characters because they are always dealing with dirty situations and environments but somehow they still manage to stay beautiful and out of trouble.

I am like most Americans in that I love a good underdog story where the hero faces incredible odds but still comes out as the champion. This is a labor of love because it is an opportunity to bring the true story of these women into the light.

This is especially important since their own modesty would never allow them to do it themselves.

2. Do you hate American women?

Absolutely not. I have a precious circle of American women who are either close to me or who have influenced my life in the most special of ways. I am truly indebted to these women for how their love and friendship has shaped me as a person.

The American women that I tend to get along the best with are already happily married with kids because they see the value in all of this. These special American women actually served as the initial inspiration for me to create this. In many ways this work is also dedicated to them because they have what many of us American men want in our lives. It is for this reason that they have my deepest respect and admiration.

No. I am far away from hating American women. What I do hate is the cancerous political, cultural and behavioral power games that disempower both American men and women from understanding and finding love with each other.

Russian women are a real if not superior alternative in breaking out of this vicious cycle. They are truly special in that they have far less options available in their lives but they still do not find it necessary to engage in such destructive behavior. Quite frankly, they do not understand why many American women choose to act like angry victims and lash out at American men in general. Russian women correctly see that these American women are given more positive opportunities and choices in men than in anywhere else in the world.

3. Are the Russian women you show on your site models?

None of these ladies are models although they could probably easily work as models in the US or in many other countries. They are all friends or casual acquaintances that I have met and most of them are single if you can believe it. It has been a complete pleasure to capture such moments from their lives. It is easy to meet such beautiful women while you are in Russia and for the most part they really enjoy having their pictures taken.

4. Are you living in Russia?

Yes, I’m originally from the US West Coast but I am now living and working in Russia.

5. What is the population of Russia?

Around 150 million people spread out over multiple ethnic groups

6. What about women from other Former Soviet Union (FSU) countries such as the Ukraine, Belarus, or Kazakhstan?

Although it would be more accurate to call this “FSU Women - The Real Truth most” many American men would not know what this means and it would not be practical to label this site this way. Although there are many FSU countries the women from these areas more or less share the same overall characteristics and values that are described in this site.

7. Why are there significantly fewer Russian Men then Russian Women?

There are a number of factors.

The situation started back in World War II. Some 20 million Soviet people died during that conflict and most of them were men. This started a domino effect since it created a huge vacuum for future generations of men who were needed to fill existing dangerous jobs. This in turn further increased the already high mortality levels for Russian Men. Subsequent conflicts from the 1950’s on into modern times continue to take a huge toll on these men.

This imbalance is further compounded by rampant alcohol and drug abuse with large populations of Russian Men who are not able nor qualified to have stable relationships and raise families.

Another key factor contributing to this is the mandatory 2 year military service which all young Russian men must serve typically starting at the age of 18. While these men are serving their country they are not allowed to start a relationship and this puts additional strain demographically on the population imbalance between men and women.

Finally many of these Russian men upon completing their service move away from their original homes searching for good jobs in larger cities while Russian women traditionally stay near their families.

These population imbalances become more dramatically pronounced with age since Russian men have a very high mortality rate in comparison to Russian women.

8. Aren’t Russian women all just looking for a way out of their country?

There will always be a minority segment of women who are motivated by this and in my opinion it’s pretty straight forward to identify them. However, the vast majority of Russian women are simply trying to find a loving and supportive husband to ultimately raise a family with. This is the biggest challenge they face because of the male/female ratio working against them.

Put yourself in their position for a second and think about what you would do if you were in their same situation. It’s not an easy decision for most Russian women to consider living in a strange country because of how close they traditionally are to their families and especially their mothers. Their desire in wanting to find the right spouse needs to override this instinct. Since many of them do not want to live in another country a man would need to be pretty special in their eyes for them to even consider moving.

Russian women are very proud of their heritage and their country. And if you lived here like I do you can see why this is the case. Most importantly they are proud of themselves as women and would not willingly pass themselves off in any thing that may be suspiciously demeaning or degrading to them. For example the vast majority of beautiful and single Russian women I meet do not have their pictures posted on any agency website even though they are looking for a man.

9. Is it true that you can really find a younger woman to be your wife in Russia?

Yes, within reason and also depending on the age of the Russian lady. If you are dealing with a young lady in her early 20’s then a 10 year and even up to a 15 year difference is normal depending on the appearance, compatibility and fitness of the man. Keep in mind that young Russian women in their early 20’s are exceptionally mature in comparison to their American counterparts.

As a Russian woman gets older the difference in age can also typically increase. A man in his 50’s and sometimes 60’s can have a relationship with a Russian woman in her 30’s. In one case I have heard of a man in his early 70’s getting engaged to a woman who was 34.

For most American men many of these age differences may be hard to believe until one actually sees the maturity level of these ladies and witnesses what goes on over here. Russian women are looking for manly leaders who have a clear direction and purpose in life and from a historical and survival perspective this makes a great deal of sense. Older and more established men clearly fall into this category.

Stories and legends of princes winning the hearts of a fair maiden is something that these women were commonly brought up with as children. Most Russian women intuitively understand and accept that their prince can most likely be an older man.

10. Can there be greater differences in age when dealing with a girl in her 20s?

Yes, there are always exceptions to the norm. However these arrangement are more difficult to find and require more trial and error and patience. I personally have a friend who is 45 years old and he has a girlfriend that is 24. He is exceptionally fit and is a very good man to this woman.

11. Aren’t Russian women submissive?

This stereotype is a complete myth. I am surrounded with hundreds of Russian women at my work and I have yet to find someone who I consider to be submissive. Russian women are very strong, resourceful and streetwise. The amazing thing is that they are all of this without being loud or obnoxious as is prevalent in the US.

If they were submissive then they wouldn’t be able to survive in this tough environment. For example they are often dealing with drunk, aggressive and sometimes dangerous Russian men who want to harass or have sex with them. Behavior that would get a man locked up in no time flat in the United States is openly tolerated here and Russian Women are left to fend for themselves. Quite frankly there is great irony here since most American women (who believe themselves to be more independent or stronger then Russian women) would not last long in this environment.

Believe me if you cross a Russian women by getting on her bad side then you’ve got problems brother. They will give more to you then any woman you’ve ever known but their boundaries and their expectations are strictly enforced and you better know what they are. As long as you treat them like a lady you will be fine.

There’s a famous Russian saying that says that the Man may be the head of the family but his wife is the neck that turns the head into the direction it wants!

It was initially hard for me to believe that Russian women could do this until I actually experienced the hidden remote control unit that my girlfriend at the time had secretly planted on me.

12. How come you only wrote with American Men in mind? I am from England and many of the problems you are describing with American women are the same here and for the rest of Western Europe.

I realize this but it was easier to write from and American man’s perspective (because I am American) instead of having to say “we disgruntled men of developed Western Nations” all the time.

I know that Russian women are developing quite a famous name for themselves in Europe because European men are catching on to these women quickly. I know that Russian women in Germany for example are highly sought after and in vogue. One of my students who traveled to Singapore was treated like she was a movie star from another planet. She was completely thrown for a loop with the amount of adoration she received there since she received next to nothing here in Russia.

13. Are all the girls in agencies serious about getting married?

Most Russian Women in the agencies are serious however there is a significant number or women who may be “just trying this out for fun”. You need to be wary of these women because they are only out to have fun and will use up your precious time and money and will not give you a commitment. This happens mostly with younger girls below the age of 22. They are still at a point where they might not be too sure of what they want. They may be simply incapable of recognizing you for the quality man that you are. However the older the women get the more serious they are about getting married.

14. How do Russian men treat their women?

Since I mostly work with Russian women I get a lot of information on this subject. I have met mostly older Russian men who are very decent, loving and caring towards their wives or girlfriends. Also most young men I meet are also exceptional and fair-minded individuals. However, I think these men are more of an exception rather than the rule.

Russian women frequently complain that they are treated like commodities. Since there are so many of them it is very tempting for a Russian man to not care about losing one since in all likelihood he can quickly find another woman to replace her. This situation doesn’t give Russian men a great deal of incentive to be affectionate or loving for the long term. There are a whole range of bad behaviors that I have heard about in relation to Russian men but key to all of them is a long term sense of indifference or arrogance towards their women.

In general Russian men are very forward with how they communicate with their women. In some cases this can be seen as desirable and strong but in most cases it is forceful, caustic and abrasive. Keep in mind that age is a big variable here because the older the man is the more civil and gentlemanly he is likely to be. It is the scores of disillusioned younger men who I am describing which are the ones mostly responsible for these types of problems.

15. How does the Russian Government feel about men coming to Russia to find wives?

Russia is facing a severe demographic crisis because it has some of the lowest birthrates in the world and this is leading to a sharp decline in it’s population over the next 10 to 20 years. The Russian Government is deeply concerned about this and it generally does not like the idea of women leaving the country but it still allows them the freedom to do so.

In-spite of the government’s negative view on this there are millions of women who simply do not have a chance at finding husbands with whom they can raise a family with.

A prime cause to this is a historically unstable and developing economy which does not provided enough employment opportunities for the existing men in Russia to support a family with. The Russian Government must prioritize on this problem because it cannot just magically materialize more Russian men for the existing surplus of Russian women.

American or other foreign men coming to Russia to look for wives actually benefits Russia in two key ways towards addressing this problem.

First the men who are looking for Russian wives tend to be established and have either successful careers or businesses. What this does is give Russia great exposure from a specialized audience of American men. Since Russia is a large developing economy many of the men are coming to Russia for the first time and are amazed at the numerous opportunities to do business. Additionally, there is a growing percentage of these men like myself who decide to invest their time, money, expertise and energy into this country for their own professional growth. As strange as this sounds beautiful Russian women are directly responsible for attracting significant amounts of foreign investment and expertise into this country!

The second key benefit comes from married Russian women living overseas who now have greater amounts of money either through their own employment or through their husband’s income. As a group these women pump hard currency into the Russian economy because they send back large amounts of money (by Russian standards) to help their families out. A typical Russian woman who is employed in the US can earn anywhere between 3 to 15 times more money then if she was working in Russia. With this greater income she can now easily support her family in Russia for the long term.

There is a famous quote by the great Russian writer Dostoevsky that says “Beauty can save the world.” I believe that this man was ahead of his time given what I am seeing.

16. What is the general attitude that Russian women have towards marriage agencies?

Russian women who join agencies generally do not share this fact with other people such as friends and family. This is because the given attitude that most Russians have towards marriage agencies is negative and this often causes shame and problems for those that have joined. Unfortunately what this belief does is prevent the vast majority of qualified single women from joining any agency no matter how good it’s reputation.

There are other factors that compound this problem. Russian media and news has only conducted negative stories on marriage agencies. They have sensationalized various horror stories of some poor Russian women marrying some monster of an American man who has serious problems. Even though this does not represent the vast majority of happy unions between Russian women and American men it still gets used like a tabloid story to hook in more listeners and viewers and it works.

Another problem is the negative reputation of the agencies themselves. Russian people rarely hear about the good agencies but they often hear about the bad ones. Much of this criticism is deserved since there are a number of truly un-ethical marriage agencies which systematically scam both American men and Russian women.

American men who come over with a wrong attitude also end up hurting the reputation of agencies with Russian women as well. There are a number of desperate American men who have been fueled on a completely bogus belief that Russian women are “mail order brides”. With this in mind they come to Russia often acting like arrogant slave masters trying to “get the best deal”. These men either end up going home frustrated (because the good women here easily see through this) or they end up matching with a woman with questionable character and motives.

As you can imagine this hurts the reputation of the agency for bringing the man out in the first place and it also damages the general reputation of American men. I personally know of cases where outstanding Russian women with high hopes for a relationship were completely degraded by some American man and now they refuse to have anything to do with any marriage agencies.

Finally many good Russian ladies do not join agencies because they fear that it will make them appear desperate or look like they are prostituting themselves. In Russia there are a growing number of prostitution websites which look very similar to agency websites. An average Russian woman is proud, refined and conservative and she is very sensitive as to how other people see her. Accordingly she doesn’t want to appear like a commodity for sale.

You will want to keep in mind that this is just a perception and in no way means that the women who have already joined agencies are anything less then the stellar women that are described on RWA. Given these stereotypes it takes courage and a good streak of independence for both Russian women and American men to work with an agency.

7. What are some of the scams that bad marriage agencies use?

At the root of all scams is some type of bait and switch operation. For example I know of a well known agency which has a US office in a major Texas city which is the absolute epitome of a scam operation. It is very polished and it even put on a good show for a national TV news magazine doing a story on it.

It first sponsors a regional beauty contest where it photographs all of the girls who register and collects their personal information. It will then post these pictures and profiles on it’s marriage agency website without the girls knowledge or permission. It also steals photographs and profiles from other agencies and claims them as their own. In one case it actually posted the profile of a lady who was a friend of mine and who was already engaged.

The men who visit this website are tricked into believing that these girls are available and so this agency charges men into buying “tokens” which will allow them a certain number of letters to be exchanged back and forth. The letters from the girls are fabricated in order to keep the men buying additional tokens.

This same agency offers to send out a “Free” video CD of these girls and it cleverly hides the fact that it will send you out additional CD’s and charge your credit card a large amount of money without clearly telling you that it will do it.

Finally, if you still don’t catch on to this and they manage to convince you that your dream girl is waiting for you (with their fabricated letters) and you fly to Russia to meet her you might be disappointed in knowing that when you get here that she might not be available for you but instead they have a lot of other “ladies” who would love to meet with you while you are here.

Some marriage agencies also use modeling agencies as fronts (when there is very little hope that these women will ever get a modeling job in Russia) to attract girls.

Some agencies have a financial incentive in seeing you fail at finding your true love because they earn more money with every subsequent trip that you make to try again. As a result some agencies have actually sabotaged their men’s attempts at finding their true love. This is incredibly cruel because it plays with peoples hearts and it discourages real people from finding real love.

For both American men and Russian women there are some real potential hazards that one needs to be aware of in deciding to go down this path. The risk can be high but so too can the rewards for those with enough patience, heart and smarts to choose the right course.

18. Do many Russian women speak English?

Before I answer this question I need to give you a little background on English in Russia first.

English is the world’s international language and as American’s we are extremely lucky that this is the case. Learning English is a mandatory subject in most Russian schools so it is not unusual to find Russian students who have been studying English for 4 to 10 years even before they start their university studies! For example I have been to children’s summer camp that was solely devoted to teaching a wide range of Russian children English. At the university level studying English is still popular and often mandatory as an elective along with whatever their chosen degree is.

More then half the songs that are played on the radio are popular American songs and Hollywood movies dominate the Russian landscape. Some measure of news about America is heard on a daily basis. English is the most popular language to learn and Russian people who speak it well tend to have a great deal of intellectual and cultural status within this society. I was even surprised to learn that many Russians learn English in order to travel and communicate in Europe (since Europeans also use English as a common language between them) even though most of them never go to England because of their strict visa requirements.

Although this general interest in English is positive news for American Men most Russian women who have graduated from a university simply don’t have any practical reasons to speak and to maintain their English skills. Therefore most Russian women past their mid 20’s speak English only at a basic level. The good news is that they very much understand it’s importance and are willing to get to a proficient level of speaking if given a good reason to do so. There is a growing realization with Russian people that if they don’t lean English then the world might just pass them by.

19. I’ve heard that Russian women are not religious is this true?

During the old communist times the Soviet Union only allowed personal and spiritual allegiance to the State. There was a great deal of conditioning that was used to convince it’s citizens that “Religion was the opiate of the masses” as Karl Marx had said.

If you were raised in an environment where you were taught that religious or spiritual beliefs are akin to taking drugs and if this idea is emphasized for 70 years across three generations of Russians then you can see why most Russian people are not “openly” religious. I emphasize the word “openly” because the people who are religious here are still very much “in the closet” about it and fear being ridiculed if it is known.

In general Russian women are not religious. They will attend Christmas or Easter services but that is mostly out of cultural traditions and not because of belief. I have noticed a general interest in Russian women wanting to learn more about religion and religious ideas since as human beings they are also trying to find the answer to our origin and purpose.

The most widely accepted religion in Russia is the Orthodox Christian Church which is experiencing a new revitalization since the Russian government is openly encouraging it once again to grow in order to help re-instill cultural pride with it’s citizens. If a Russian woman calls herself a Christian what she really means is that she is an Orthodox Christian.

20. I have never been to Russia. What’s is this country and it’s people like?

That’s a little like asking what the United States and it’s people are like but I’ll give this question my best try.

Russia is an absolutely gigantic country that spans across 11 time zones. It would take 9 hours to fly across it by commercial jet. Siberia by itself (which encompasses more then half of Russia) is almost twice as large as the US!

Most people who travel to Russia usually only go to St. Petersburg or Moscow. St. Petersburg which is on the outer western border of Russia is considered by many to be an elegant European city since this is what Peter the Great who was the founder (and leader of 19th century Russia) wanted this magnificent city to be.

Moscow is the political and business center for Russia. It is a vast city and it is most famous for it’s huge fortress like Kremlin (which is like the White House and Capital Hill all rolled into one) Red Square, and St. Basil’s Cathedral. Moscow has such a concentration of business and political resources that it is not generally considered to be of the same characteristic of a typical Russian city.

Russia has vast spans of mostly flat land dotted with various cities that vary widely in population from a few hundred thousand to a few million. These various cities are heavily industrialized turning out everything from bread to rail-road cars. Most of the buildings are drab looking since during Soviet times construction techniques always emphasized function over form.

Much of this emphasis on function only is true for almost all of Russia. Buildings, cars, buses, trains, roads, restaurants, stores, supermarkets, hospitals and schools all have this really rugged look to them. It may look like it doesn’t work but it’s like your neighbor’s old beat up Volkswagen that just doesn’t die.

The food is great. Meats and vegetables are almost always fresh because of a bustling network of open markets and there is a large variety of Russian dishes that are very tasty especially if you like soups, rye breads, cheeses, sausages, smoked fish and smoked hams. Beef and chicken dishes are also very good as well. Russian women as a rule are great cooks.

People on the street generally keep to themselves and tend to have this very serious (sometimes grim) expression on their faces. Pop, techno and folk music is played everywhere. Public transportation is ubiquitous and very inexpensive. It can get very hot in the summer time and as you probably know brutally cold in the winter. Russia is probably most famous for it’s winters which reminds me of Minneapolis during the winter. Hockey is the national sport of choice and Russian players almost never get into a fight like NHL players although they allow players to hit each other more “creatively”.

Alcohol is everywhere since on every street corner and in every store you can get huge varieties of vodka and beer. Men (and sometimes women) gathered together drinking on the street seems to be a national past time here and it often leads to many scenes of public intoxication. Unfortunately because of this there is usually a great deal of broken bottles and litter on the streets. Fortunately they have public cleaning crews that clean the streets early in the mornings.

Russian people love to party, sing and dance and will make their own music if needed. You will never be with a group of people in your life who know how to cut loose and have a good time like Russians do (I have been to Australia and I can still say this). But at the same time they love to talk politics and culture and can be extremely opinionated people. They know what is black and white and they know what is wrong and right. I discovered that you will get along just fine with them as long as you acknowledge that everyone else is wrong and they are right!

Russian people generally have a very cool and collected exterior that contains either a comfortable warmth or a burning inferno of inner emotions. Their language is similarly complex and it is the perfect medium for them to express this emotional depth.

Coupled with all of this is a lethal combination of intelligence and cultivation which a close American friend of mine once described by saying, “We have a lot to learn from these people.”

I could go on for days describing Russia but the most striking thing that Russia has is it’s mystery which many generations of outsiders have also recorded throughout history. Like it’s people, Russia has a mystique to it that is unlike any other country that I have ever visited. Russians themselves will also tell you this because even they think it’s a mystery!

The mystique of Russia reaches far beyond it’s borders and even into America. I know this because if I told my friends that I was going to Europe they would yawn and say “have a good time.” However the moment I told them I was going to Russia they looked at me as if they had just seen a UFO land in their backyard and said, “Whoa! Your going to Russia?!”. I was tempted to tell them “yes” and that I was going to take a ride on that UFO to get there.

Russia, like it’s women, is a huge mystery because one moment it reaches out to embrace you with all the love in the world… And then in another moment it can reach out to squash you like a bug. That is probably why everyone here affectionately calls this country “Mother Russia”.

21. How do I court a Russian Lady?

Courting a Russian lady is like going back to a simpler and nobler time. I’d recommend that you dust out your archives and find out what gentlemen did to profess their undying love to maidens in waiting and I’m quite serious about this. Since you are an American man you are going to have to forget everything you think you know about (modern) women and go back to knowing what it was like to be a real man.

I’m not going to give you any details for a reason and the reason is simple. You first have to find your inner man again and get reacquainted with him since he’s probably been “Missing In Action” for a long time. You will need to re-discover the manly wisdoms of old by reconnecting with that warrior, teacher, or healer that’s within you.

You will have to know that being a deserving husband to a deserving wife is a natural extension of this identity and your God given right. But most importantly you will have to claim all of this as your own. You are going to have to go out and climb this mountain to get the one woman you have desired in your life. She’s here and she’s waiting for you. But always remember that she will not suffer fools or charlatans.

This journey will be about how much tenacity, tenderness and heart you have because doing this is not going to be easy and nothing worthwhile is. But for the few men who do this right their happiness is beyond compare.

I can personally say that if you actually have the initiative to fly over here you will see what I have seen and you will never be the same. You will immediately ask yourself one of two questions, “How long can I stretch this trip out?” or “How soon can I get back here again?” Furthermore you will never look at the women you were used to the same way again.

In the immortal words of a friend of mine who greeted me at the airport the first time I returned from Russia, “Welcome back to American. Now your screwed.”